Music For A Broken Piano

"Now that takes a real Virtuoso."

Anyone with some education, a little aptitude, a lot of practice and passion for music can make a piano sound good. But what can you do with a broken piano?

I've struggled my whole life with being a great guy, just not good enough. I'm like the broken piano. I get it. I am very aware of my limitations, shortcomings, faults and failures. I can quote the list of 347 reasons I'm not good enough forwards and backwards.

If someone finds a few more, I really don't need to hear them. 347 is plenty.

I've been thinking lately about the Parable of the Talents in Matt 25. I may actually have to jot down some notes before I can get it out of my head. But my main question in rereading this familiar parable is, "What about the guy that has been given a talent or two, invests them using the best wisdom he has, and looses the investment?" Not every investment made by good and faithful people doubles in value, does it? What about broken piano guys like me?

There are no obvious answers to this question in the parable itself. There are some contemplative possibilities. But the parable doesn't give an example of the servant who tried and failed.

Perhaps failure is not a possibility. Perhaps the example of the Master who goes on a long journey is not applicable to our lives. Perhaps the Master never leaves or forsakes us. Perhaps, whether it makes sense to us or not, we can relax in the knowledge that the Master Himself directs our steps. If we loose a talent or two of His gold along the way, He can afford it.

Perhaps we need to remember that He writes the music and He plays it. We're just the broken pianos.

If They're Known Terrorists, Take 'Em Out?

"It's amazing how unimportant the Constitution is when we don't like someone."

First, for what it's worth from a politically cynical guy like me, "Congrats" to Rand Paul for the filibuster yesterday. He was trying to draw attention to predator drones, their use in assassinations worldwide, the lack of oversight or even consistency in how and where they are used, and most importantly, the question of whether they can be used against United States citizens on United States soil with the same discretion (or lack there of).

"If they're a known terrorist, take them out - no questions asked." That seems to be the attitude of most people here. One person even told me, "If they could have taken out Timothy McVeigh with a predator drone before he blew up the Murrah Federal building in 1995, they should have."

(DISCLAIMER: I disagree. I am among those that might have supported McVeigh completely had he blown the place up at 2:00 AM when nobody was there if he'd made sure that even the security guards were out of harm's way.)

Disclaimer aside, my reaction is, "Really?"

If they had known he was going to do that, they could have arrested him and given him the due process which the Constitution provides to all of us. If it doesn't apply to all of us, it doesn't apply to any of us.

They didn't know he was going to do that. Should they have assassinated him without due process because some unknown and unaccountable person in the intelligence community thought he was going to do something like that? Hell No.

What are we thinking here? How can we so loudly support our military, then despise the basic principles they're supposed to defend? Where are the Second Amendment rights advocates on this? Do they think their AR-15 Assault rifle will do anything to help them against a predator drone? Are we really this out of touch with what America stands for, what it's supposed to be about?

Is it that hard for our President, the nominee for CIA Director and the US Attorney General to stand up and say unequivocally, "Drones will never be used to assassinate US Citizens on US Soil. It is illegal and antithetical to everything our Constitution stands for."

Wellness and Strength March Madness

"It's a process, not an event."

Well, time for a quick update. The concept I'm working with this year is that none of the issues below are separate issues. They're all interconnected and related. So a bullet point update is about all I have room for in one post

Good News/Bad News: Good news is that I'm still vaping instead of smoking. Bad news is I still smoke two or three old cigarettes a day. In February, I tried to 86 the one before bed, and was not successful. I may have even lost a little ground last month.

I did manage to go a whole weekend without a real smoke, but by Tuesday, I couldn't deal with it. I smoked one. I'm not too upset though. 2-3 a day is a lot better than 2 packs! And I'm still enjoying vaping, and still not fighting all the time.

But the smokes just won't let go. Bullet is: "The Empire Strikes Back."

I started exercising a little. I got out the excercise bike and the cheap, Academy Sports version of the Total Gym I've had for a few years. My facebook post from last weekend says it all:

I spent 45 minutes on my exercise bike today. Almost not smoking for a few months has really helped. I used to only last 10-15 minutes b4 my lungs gave out. Today I only stopped because of the sharp pain extending down my left leg, blurred vision and a strange numbness on the left side of my face. But I'm better now.

I'm eating breakfast every day. Except I forgot today, and now I'm starving. That's actually good news, I think. But I still struggle with the nutrition/eating right stuff. Somehow, I have to translate "I need to eat more healthy" to "Buy 1% milk at the store from now on."

And finally...drum roll, please...

Total weight loss since I started working on Wellness and Strength last December. "ZERO." I weigh exactly the same as I did then. Hmmm.

Who Is Sitting On Whose Ass?

"Fund Programs Individually. Make Cuts Across The Board."

There's so much nonsense talk about the Federal Budget going on out there. Politicians and members of the press are throwing rocks around like hand grenades, talking about how people will be hurt by across the board cuts, and our way of life is at stake, and we'll be thrown into another recession, and it's always the other sides' fault.

Yesterday, the Speaker of the House and the Senate Majority Leader exchanged the 'ass' word, telling each other to get off theirs and do what they wanted. Very entertaining. I laughed my ass off.

Everybody knows that the budget (Federal Spending) is insanely out of control. Everybody knows that spending has to decrease and taxes have to increase. Everybody knows that the status quo is unsustainable. But nobody can fix it.

It is simply not within government's scope to get smaller. Anytime anyone talks about cutting spending for a particular program or special interest, they are picking a fight. Someone out there passionately believes in whatever program is being cut, whether it's the military or animal rights advocacy groups. And someone, despite the funding cut to whatever their passion happens to be, will find money to crucify the politician who instigates any such cut on election day.

The only prayer government has for extending its fiscal demise is to implement across the board cuts. Nobody likes them, but everyone will understand them. Personally, I think we should make significant, almost fatal cuts across the board.

Then government can do what it does best. It can go back through the list individually and fund the important programs. The more important the program, the more support it will have for funding and the quicker the funding process will be.

The programs that aren't too important? Well, that's what committees are for.

It's just not that damn hard.

Weight Loss Is A Full Time Job

"I already have one of those."

I had dinner with a friend over the weekend. I didn't know it, but he has been working really hard this year to lose wieght, gain muscle and be more healthy. He is doing exactly what I am unwilling to do: He eats only tofu and bean sprouts and spends two hours a day, six days a week at the gym.

His religious fervor for losing weight and being more healthy is admirable. I am not criticizing him at all. As a matter of fact, I applaud his success so far. In just six weeks, he has lost 24 lbs and looks completely different. He is toning up nicely and feels much better. He has more energy, enthusiasm, endurance and strength. I'm proud of him. But his journey is not my journey.

I might be able to suffer through such a program for a few weeks, or even a few months. But I have no interest in adopting it as a lifestyle. I have never enjoyed exercise. Even back in college, everyone told me if I would work out regularly and especially run, my body would crave it. It would be a joy, not a chore. That never happened.

I want to eat better. I want to learn to eat more healthy, less processed food. I want to get away from convenience food. I might even enjoy cooking if I'd learn a little more about it. Of course, my friend isn't just eating tofu and bean sprouts, but in our discussion about eating, I would only eat about 30% of the stuff he said he is eating. I don't like yellow squash and wouldn't have a sardine up my nose if I had room for a freight train. I can't imagine eating both at the same meal.

If that's all there was to eat, I would certainly lose weight - I'd starve!

I'm convinced that I don't have to live that way.

My friend got a rather direct letter from his cardiologist that suggested he does have to live that way. My solution to that is: "Avoid The Cardiologist!" But he is five years older than me, and didn't do what I am willing to do this year.

And I am making some progress. More on that in the next post or few.

For now, as I stand at the bottom of the staircase looking up at my friend, I am impressed.

Knight In Shining Armor

"My brother had a great Valentine's Day."

The flip side of my Valentine's Day Funk (which I experience every year to some extent) is my brother's day.

My sister in law was on the ill fated Party (Potty?) Cruise that experienced an engine fire and was adrift in the Gulf of Mexico for five days. They were dragged back into port on none other than Valentine's Day.

My brother relished being the Knight in Shining Armor that showed up in Mobile, AL Thursday night when the passengers disembarked. Through no small amount of collusion and coordination, my sister in law was informed that a hotel shuttle would meet her at the dock so she could go to a hotel and clean up before catching a plane to Houston, another bus to Galveston and commence the 8+ hour drive home.

Indeed a van was waiting, the driver holding a sign with her name on it right in front of his face. She said, "Here I am" and he said, "Me too." He was ready with food and vodka. She was very glad to see him.

Awwww.

They went to the hotel for whatever was left of Valentine's day, then boarded a private jet that my bro managed to finagle by trading some parts we didn't have a lot of money tied up in. They flew home in style along with five of her companions that were equally done with the cruise experience.

It was really sweet. How often does one have the opportunity to be a hero on Valentine's Day?

My Pity Party Is Over Now

"I'm done feeling sorry for myself...just in time for Valentine's Day."

Certain events last week put me in a funk. I admit it. But I'm done now and recovering nicely. I should be fully recovered just in time for the annual funk I experience on the day that the whole world pokes fun at people like me by flaunting their sweetheart relationships in front of us and implying that if we were worth a crap we'd have one too.

I've prepared for it the best I can. I've turned off Facebook, bought a couple of new books to read, stocked up on vodka and sparkling cranberry juice cocktail and made a list of reasons I'm happy to be alone and pathetic. I should be OK.

Now all I have to do is figure out what to buy myself for Valentine's Day. I don't want or need anything. So, my variation on the theme of, "What do you get someone for Valentine's Day who has everything he wants?" still needs an answer. I'm sure I'll think of something.

Then I'll take a deep breath and hold my nose through the flower deliveries at work and the stories about what everybody else is doing for VD. Then I'll go home, eat a TV dinner, have a few drinks and read myself to sleep. Maybe I'll dream one more time about what might be next year if God loves me. I'll make it through another one, hopefully with minimal anguish.

For all of those more fortunate than me, enjoy your day. Spend time with your Valentine and do whatever you can to make it a perfect day for them.

I'm relatively confident that I'll resurface when it's all over.

We All Have A Purpose, Right?

"After millions of years of evolution, this guy finally serves a purpose...and it makes people mad."

Yesterday, someone was talking about an accidental oil spill in their swimming pool. I mentioned that it probably took a whole flock of sea gulls to clean up that mess. I was, of course, berated badly for being such an environmentally insensitive ass.

But what other purpose do sea gulls actually serve? Could it be that they were created just for such an occasion? They seem to do it really well, and are better equipped to clean up oil spills that anything else science has come up with.

I'm kidding about the sea gulls, obviously. But sometimes I feel like one of them.

There is a concept in Christianity that we are being 'poured out' for the benefit of others, and that this is not just our duty, but our glory. Self sacrifice and giving up that which is important to me for the someone else's sake is thought of highly. And we are taught to make these sacrifices willingly - with enthusiasm.

We should be content to be part of a process that benefits other people and makes their lives better without desiring to participate in whatever 'better' turns out to be. We are taught that jealousy is a bad thing, and we should not want what someone else has - even if we had a role in helping them have it. We need to learn to be patient and that our turn will come.

So today, I'm a student. I guess I'm supposed to enjoy it.

I Miss My Wednesday Afternoons

"It's all over Facebook, but if you haven't watched it yet..."



It's all about perspective, huh?

For over a year, from November 2011 until December 2012, I spent Wednesday afternoons working with a few organizations that deliver food to homeless camps around Oklahoma City. I was really thankful to have the distraction from work, the opportunity to serve others in a meaningful way and the exposure to other people who also have a heart to help.

I gave that up this year for several reasons. The primary thought behind not doing that anymore is, "Anybody can stand here and hand out boxes of food, but I'm the only one that can do my job." And my job needed my Wednesday afternoons again. What can I say?

But I really miss the connection to the people I was working with and for. And the video above doesn't just apply to third wold countries. It applies equally as well to hundreds or even thousands of people living in each and every big city in the first world (whatever that is).

Sometimes it's good to take a step back, see the trivial things that genuinely irritate us, and realize what a blessing those irritations really are.

DISCLAIMER:
The video above is from www.waterislife.com. These folks make and distribute straws that purify water. Not sure what else they do, and I am not advocating the organization - just the thoughts presented in the video.

This is not the same organization whose equipment we took to Zambia last October. That group is called Water4Life. Their website is Water4Life. I can wholeheartedly recommend these guys. Their organization is first rate, and their equipment works well. Their stuff is used to drill safe water wells that require no power or equipment to work.

Now Here's An Oxymoron Conundrum

"Maybe old dogs can learn new tricks."

Please Meet Shane Windmeyer and Dan Cathy.

Shane is co-founder and executive director of Campus Pride, a national advocacy group for gay college students.

Dan is none other than the infamous president and COO of Chick-fil-A that got so much press last year with its corporate gay bashing porgram.

Shane was Dan's guest at the Chick-fil-A Bowl New Year's Eve.

Wow.

Shane wrote an article for Huffpost Gay Voices that was published yesterday. The article can be found here.

The Cliffs Notes are that these two diabolically opposed people met and became friends. The Chick-fil-A dude isn't quite as bad as previously thought, Chick-fil-A stopped supporting the worst of the anti-gay programs and (I guess) we're all supposed to go eat chicken sandwiches again.

I'm encouraged by the article, but obviously skeptical. Rather than share my reservations, I just want to encourage everyone to read the article.

I think I'll leave it there for now.

Work In Progress

"Progress and improvement comes in little steps along the way."

Well, I'm a month into the Wellness and Strength focus, so it's time for a pretty pathetic update on how it's going so far. I get the concept of step by step progress, but I need to start walking a little faster. I'm crossing the Big 50 mark in three months, and I'm actually looking forward to it. But I also want to live stronger (ugh...did I quote Lance Armstrong?). I want to approach upper middle age with a sense of strength and a heart of wellness. Maybe I should take some of Lance's medicine? -NOT.

I have figured out that the divide and conquer technique doesn't work with Wellness and Strength. All of the components are interrelated and cannot be separated and dealt with individually. That makes the project harder, but also tenable.

I do think I can document progress by looking at different components of the paradigm. So...

SMOKING: I'm still smoking my first cigarette or two every day and usually one in the evening. The evening cigarettes are getting fewer and farther apart. Starting next month, I'm going to try really hard not to have any in the evening, and I'm going to try putting off the morning smoke a little longer each day. The Vaping thing works really well - better than any other nicotine replacement therapy I've tried so far. And, let's face it. Nicotine is a drug with benefits. Otherwise everybody would have quit smoking a long time ago. So, I'm content with using the Vape Stick (e-cigarette) and smoking just a couple of real ones a day for now. That's gotta better than two and a half packs, right?

DIET: I really am working on it. Honest. For Real. I just don't have a clue what I'm doing and progress takes a while to document. But I'm eating more often, making better choices and not doing so much of the obvious no-no's. I hardly ever drink Coke anymore, for example. I drink a lot more water and a glass of aloe vera juice every day. That really helps with stomach issues, BTW.

EXERCISE: No habla Engles. But it is on the list.

MUSIC: (Yes, this is right up there with the rest in my world). I got a new piano and amp. I've been spending more time playing. It's fun, healthy and just as important as anything else on the list. There are other things I need to focus on in this category as well. But they are (for me) secondary to the first three.

So, here I am. Ready for February. We'll see how that goes.

Can I Get A Straignt Answer?

"All of the important questions in life are circular."

I said to the cloud, "Why won't you rain?"
"I will," said the cloud with a hint of disdain.
"The rain that I have belongs not to you
But to someone else. I'm just passing through."

"Will other clouds come and bring us some rain?
We really need it, our lives to sustain."
"How should I know?" said the cloud with a sigh,
"I'm just a cloud. You should go ask the sky."

The sky told me it didn't have a clue why
The rain didn't fall, "But it will by and by.
Talk to the wind if you want to know
Where the rain is and where it will go."

"Ah," said the wind. "That is a good question.
Thank you for asking it with such affection.
I never know til the thunder gets loud.
The best course of action is, Go Ask A Cloud."

Oh, wait...It's raining.

Cool.

Fast Carbs, Slow Carbs, Tofu and Bean Sprouts

"Does a pot of coffee qualify as the Breakfast of Champions?"

As my focus this year is Wellness and Strength, and specifically eating better (for now), I'm reading about a more intelligent way to eat. I'm not going to eat tofu and bean sprouts for the rest of my life, but I can do better than I am.

So, I've been studying a little, and here's what I've learned so far:

1) I should eat breakfast within 30 minutes of waking up in the morning, and should eat something every 2-3 hours all day. This is supposed to kick start my metabolism and make my body use more energy. God knows I could use a good kick start.

2) At least one meal each day should include protein (which is pretty easy), some - but not too many - fast carbs, and a whole bunch of slow carbs.

I'm stuck on the slow carbs. Seems like this is cauliflower, broccoli, lettuce, etc. How do I eat that for breakfast? I think some beans count too. Most of this stuff gives me gas, and I don't want any of it 30 minutes after waking up.

So, I'm sitting around my house this morning drinking my morning pot of coffee and sucking on this E-Cigarette, thinking about what I should eat for breakfast. Honestly, I don't have anything on hand. I haven't regularly eaten breakfast since...well, ever.

I began to think of all of my travels. If I were any place in the whole world, and could have anything at all that I wanted for breakfast, what would I eat?

I really just want my coffee. And a real cigarette.

How about a 'fat pill' (I think they're called doughnuts). Yumm.

Time To Go Home

"A six and a half year project is now completed successfully."

In August, 2006, a Chinese foreign exchange student somehow found his way to my house.

My Gookito (cause in Spanish, everything small ends in 'ito') left my house in 2007 and enrolled at UNO in New Orleans. In December, 2012 he graduated with a BS in Business Somethingorother. He says that the worst degree from the worst US college is more valuable than the best degree from the best Chinese university.

Yesterday, he went home to China to begin his adult life for real. I already miss him, even though he hasn't lived with me for years.

Somehow I got him through a semester of high school.

When he first moved to New Orleans, he would ask me to call Domino's Pizza down there and order his dinner for him. He couldn't communicate with the people on the phone and they were rude as hell to him.

I taught him to drive and helped him get his license. (Yeah, that's scary, huh?).

I watched him change and grow through the normal college stuff, through the language barrier issues, through the loneliness of being in a foreign country away from family and friends, etc.

Now he speaks English just like one of us, has a ton of friends, has traveled the U.S. as much as I have, got his degree, partied like a rock star for a while and lived the American college student life as well as anyone.

I am really proud of him, and proud to have had a role in helping him get this far in life. I would like to take this opportunity to wish him the very best in life. May he find happiness, success, good health and peace for years to come.

I'll Have To Think About This One...

"What is right about America just totally dwarfs what’s wrong with Washington."

Warren Buffett came up with this nice, warm and fuzzy statement about the good old U.S. in a video on AOL today. He was talking about the challenges Obama will face in his second term. He is apparently referring to Congress.

Congress is taking a lot of heat just now. From one perspective, rightfully so. Those guys can't agree on anything except to disagree. Their effectiveness seems to be at an all time low. They can't get anything done, then at the last minute they put off the decision for another couple of months. Members on both sides take unreasonable, untenable positions and stick to them without compromise or negotiation.

And they know it. But with today's technology, everybody in Congress is always running for re-election. If they say or do something that solves a problem for now, they'll suffer greatly for doing it in the next election cycle.

Self Preservation is a primal instinct all of us have.

To me, the irony of the situation is that Congress more accurately reflects American society now that at any point in our history. The American Public is selfish, demanding, never satisfied, non-negotiable and wants to take more than it gives. All of the shenanigans in Congress are accurate all the way through our society. At least that's how it seems to me.

The result is exactly what is should be. Until Americans as a group of people resolve our differences, learn to cooperate and love each other, stop being so self righteous and start being more responsive to the needs, strengths, weaknesses and expectations of others, we're in for a really big circus for the foreseeable future.

Personally, I think in is entertaining as hell.

Wellness and Strength Cop-Out #1: I'm Too Busy

"Nobody does what he HAS time to do. He does what he MAKES time to do"

Well, I'm supposed to be focused on Wellness and Strength this year, and more specifically on learning to eat better. As I look at the first three weeks of the year, I guess it's time for my first excuse, "I'm Really Busy!"

Bullshit! Everybody is busy!

A couple of months ago, I was in a ghetto in Kenya. There were up to a million people living there by some estimates. They don't have jobs. They don't have food. They don't have electricity. They don't have anything - not even time. They're all busy.

I learned all about 'busy' from dentists in the Kansas City area back in the early '90's when I sold dental practice management software. The busiest dentist in Kansas City would find a way to take my call if it was important to him to talk with me - even if he had both hands and one foot in a patient's mouth.

The dentist who hadn't seen a patient in four days was too busy to talk to me if he didn't want to.

"I'm too busy" is a universally acceptable way to tell someone that they just aren't important enough, It's a socially and professionally acceptable excuse for not getting something done on time (or at all). It's a way to justify not doing things that someone else thinks are important.

But when you pull that line on the guy in the mirror, it's a self delusional lie.

In other words, "Bullshit!"

I'll do better, I promise.

Gun Control Questions

"Knowing the Right Thing to do shouldn't be this hard."

Is the gun control question really as complex, difficult and divisive as everyone is making it? How hard can this be?

The second amendment is clear. Its motivation and intention, as well as its impact could not be more obvious.

The need to protect the public from harm is equally obvious, and very much within the scope and function of government on all levels.

The terrorist is the problem. The depressed guy that opens fire with an assault weapon on a shopping mall or classroom full of innocent people is the problem. Logic says, "Take away his gun and this won't happen." Since we don't know who 'he' is, we have to take the guns away from everyone. This is what gun control advocates seem to think.

And the debate starts there and gets more passionate and less intelligent as the discussion goes on. I have no interest in summarizing the debate here. But I do have some questions:

Could the people who originally wrote the Second Amendment have conceived of a gun that could fire 30 rounds a second and kill a school full of kids in less than 5 minutes? If they could have conceived of such a weapon, would they have written the Second Amendment as is?

Does the Gun Control logic above apply to cars as well? After all, a depressed guy can run over a lot of people quickly. Why aren't we discussing "car control"?

Do the rednecks yelling the loudest about keeping their guns really need the ability to do so much damage so quickly? Honestly, from what I've seen of the most passionate gun control opponents, I don't want them to have guns.

It seems like everyone agrees that we need an equal playing field. Either give everyone a gun so we can shoot each other when we think it's appropriate or take everyone's gun away so that nobody can shoot anybody. Is that really what it comes down to?

If that's the bottom line, I think I vote for 'no guns'. Let's all just get along.

Can Cats Suffer From Mental Illness?

"I'm much to clever to fall for your attempts to make my life better."

My brother really screwed up for Christmas. His idea was fine. He wanted to give each of my three youngest nieces and nephews a cute, cuddly, kitty-kitty for Christmas.

Of course he waited until Christmas Eve to actually try to find three kittens and he had to take what he could get. And that was three not so little. barely cute, barn cats that don't have a clue how to cuddle or purr.

Two of the the cats have begun the rehabilitation process. They sort of like being fed, having their ears scratched, sleeping in a warm house, etc. But the third cat won't have any part of it.

He ain't havin' any of that lovey-dovey stuff, he refuses to eat that food from a bag and would never be caught sleeping anywhere. Try to challenge its perspective and make its life better and you're in for a fight!

I had an employee once that behaved the same way. I could just tell him, "Good Morning" and he acted like I was attacking him. One time I screwed up and said, "Why are you being so defensive. I'm not picking a fight." This, of course, was a direct attack.

Unfortunately, the young man treated my customers exactly the same way, so I eventually had to attack him, which I did by kicking him to the curb. Sad.

Why couldn't he see me as an asset? Why couldn't he join my team and work with me instead of turning everything into a confrontation? Who knows? Was he insane or just way too clever to be manipulated by someone like me?

How many times does life put a real asset in our path and we respond like we're being attacked? So many people face disastrous consequences to problems with easy solutions, but woe to the one who tries to introduce them to the solution. "It's my life. I have rights. You can't possibly understand what I'm going through." Blah, blah.

It's amazing how hard we hang on to things that hurt us or hold us back. Just like that cat, we get all stubborn and belligerent if a suggestion is made that we could do life differently and experience different results.

Maybe we all need to try to be smarter (or not as smart) as this damn cat.

Music: Food For The Soul

"If playing my piano consumed more calories, I'd be set."

It's been said, "You are what you eat." Fair enough. But I think it is equally true to say, "You are what you listen to."

And just as some prefer to eat food they prepare for themselves as opposed to going out, I prefer to listen to the music I play on my piano.

I've needed to upgrade my piano for a couple or more years. I finally did it. I bought a Casio PX350 this week. I ordered it mail order from a fellow blogger who wrote the best review including the best samples of the auto accompaniment I found out there anywhere. I haven't received it yet, but I'm hoping it is everything my old (inexpensive) Yamaha YPG-235 isn't.

The guy's name is Tim Praskins, and his blog is AZ Piano Wholesale. I'm not going to try to review the instrument here since I don't even have it yet, and Tim already did a great job.

I just want to point out how important music is to me, that I got a new tool for making it, that I'm really excited to start playing it and that I consider the move directly related to my theme for 2013 of Wellness and Strength. Music, especially the stuff I play by myself, for myself, is one of the most important ingredients in maintaining sanity and promoting well being.

Now if I could just figure out how it can help me lose weight!

Overfed and Undernourished

"This is so true on a number of levels."

What a great description of life in North America. Sure, concerning what we eat. But this statement applies to a whole lot more than food.

I was doing some research online about eating smarter. I know I don't eat like I should. I know there is a better answer than the tofu and bean sprouts diets that don't really work and I won't stick to anyway. I know I need to develop some eating common sense. I don't know how.

For the most part, everyone out there talking about it is selling some supplement, advocating some extreme diet, promoting some political agenda or something else that is off subject as far as I am concerned.

But the slogan above rang really true to me, and the more I thought about it the broader the application and scope of these three words.

It applies to our cultural eating habits, obviously.

It also applies to our education system. We're not taught to think, we're taught to regurgitate facts. There's a big bias toward educational conflict avoidance so that nobody is offended or challenged by things they learn about. We're not teaching kids the truth, we're teaching them approved curriculum. The result is obvious in a five minute conversation with a high school or college graduate.

It also applies to our healthcare system. We are over extremely medicated and still sick. Healthcare suffers from being driven by money on every level, and not driven by public welfare or health.

It also applies on a shear entertainment level. We spend hours watching TV programs with a lot of words and nothing to say. So many books fit this paradigm too. I can't stand reading a book that doesn't say anything.

It also applies to relationships. Casual sex and shallow relationships have become the norm. Intimacy and relational integrity and just not the norm anymore.

We need better food for our bodies. Also for our minds, our emotions, our spirits and our environment. We need intimate, quality relationships, platonic and otherwise, that nourish our lives. We need better nutrition on many different levels of life.

Maybe it's a good thing I'm prepared to work on Wellness and Strngth all year this year.

I Don't Smoke, I Vape

"Say 'Hello' To My Little Friend."

Please allow me to introduce my Brand New E-cigarette. It is a Joyetech Ego Twist 1000 with a CE4 Cartomizer. (Wow, does that sound technical or what?). It's blue and pretty. (OK, that sounds gay.)

It is everything an e-cigarette should be. The battery lasts all day, and is consistent from the first drag to the last. The tank holds 1.6 ml of nicotine 'juice', which is roughly a pack and a half of cigarettes. It is used by inhaling through the mouthpiece while pressing the button on the battery to produce a nicotine laden vapor that looks and feels just like smoke. It doesn't smell, nor does it contain any of the 4,000 chemicals other than nicotine that old fashioned, 'analog' cigarettes have.

It costs $80, but I've probably paid a thousand for it if you take into account all of the other crap I tried before I found this little gem.

Last year, I sort of quit smoking for almost two months by using a combination of nicotine patches, nicotine losenges and traditional e-cigarettes. Every day was a fight, and I still smoked a couple of real cigarettes every day.

I've been using this guy for a little more than a week. I am not using the patches or losenges, and I'm smoking only a couple of cigarettes per day now. And I'm not really fighting with it. I just use the T-1000 instead of a smoke. I actually like the taste, the effect and the outcome. It's new and improved smoking.

The play here is...I'm not quitting smoking, I'm 'vaping' instead. I'm still getting my nicotine fix. I'm not getting the tar and crap that regular cigs have provided for the past 25 years. I'm not suffering or fighting. I'm not losing my mind. It's the greatest thing I've found since my Asus e-Pad Transformer.

The juice comes in about 80 different flavors and 5 different strengths. I use the strongest. I picked out a whole handful of really gay flavors too... Pineapple, Grape, Strawberry, Lime Ice and Coconut. I also got the unflavored and the American Tobacco flavor. They're all pretty good.

And, except for that ever famous first cigarette of the morning, and maybe one before bed, I'm not smoking.

Well, It's About Time for Wellness and Strength

"New Year is New Focus"

I have mentioned previously that for me, I intend 2013 to be a year of Wellness and Strength just as 2011 was a year of Momentum. It's now time for me to think through what that means a little more specifically.

Maybe a good overview is in order. Maybe some thoughts on each area of life is appropriate. Maybe a list of goals or accomplishments will help. Maybe I have no clue what wellness is, which is why I need to focus on it this year.

But there are a bunch of issues I know need my attention, and I've already started working on them.

First, Smoking. I gotta quit this shit!. I am trying a new nicotine replacement system. There's a whole subculture of ex-smokers who can't quite get rid of the nicotine. They have managed to quit smoking and start 'vaping'. There's a store here called "The Vapor Hut" that sells the equipment and supplies. I saw someone using it at a bar a couple of weeks ago, and bought one the next day. So far, so good. This is what an e-cigarette should have been from the beginning.

Second, Eating. For years I have skipped breakfast, waited until I'm so hungry I can't think about anything else, ate whatever was close and fast without regard to health, then ate a big dinner and went to bed. I've been living this way since my early 20's, and there has to be a better way. I'm not going to eat tofu and bean sprouts for the rest of my life, but surely I can do better than I am. I have a plan. I'll document my progress as I get it started.

Third, Exercise. This should be the easy one. I don't need a plan or a new concept. I don't need education or knowledge. I don't need motivation or encouragement. I don't need to focus on the benefits. I just need to get up off of my fat, lazy ass and go do it. Sounds good, right? We'll see.

What occurs to me as I focus on Wellness and Strength is that each of these things (and fifty more) are hard. Logically, I think I should tackle them one at a time. This is what I've tried (and failed) to do in the past.

So the 2013 Wellness and Strength wisdom is that all of these things are related. They're not separate issues. Exercise will be more practical and effective if I can actually breathe and eat right. Eating right will be more palatable if I am exercising enough to use up the calories I consume.

My thinking as I start the New Year is that Wellness and Strength cannot be broken down and compartmentalized like the chart above. It's all one thing, and all of it affects all of life. And each step forward makes the whole better and the whole is no stronger than the weakest part.

But I want to be well and strong. And 2013 is now officially designated as the year for that process to take tangible form in my life.

Flipping The Sign

"The End Is Just The Beginning."

I guess it's appropriate to say "Good-Bye" to 2012. As far as I'm concerned, it won't really be a year to remember. I did some fun stuff, and had a great time. But mostly, I'll remember 2012 for what didn't happen.

For example, the world didn't end as the Mayans evidently thought it would.

I didn't quit smoking like I thought I would. (but I finally found something that I think will help.)

My Africa trip, which resulted in a whole lot of good things BTW, didn't result in a new relationship.

I didn't really accomplish much personally, professionally or in any other paradigm.

It was a relaxing, restful, enjoyable year. But so what? And the end of it, I'm left wanting more. I'm anxious and excited to go around the bend and see what's there. I feel like I'm waking up from a very enjoyable and well deserved nap, and ready to get on with the day.

So, as I flip the sign over from 2012 to 2013, I'm also looking to a more productive, more profitable, more successful year. Maybe after two or three of those, I can have another year like 2012 to coast and enjoy life.

Let Us Worship

"The world didn't end, so Let's Have Christmas."

This was not my favorite Christmas.

I'm blaming busyness for ruining Christmas this year. Things have been so crazy busy the past few months that I had to move into survival mode. Nobody else knows it because I still did a good job of picking the best gifts I could find, and did all of the right stuff on the outside. But inside, in the part of life that matters, I just wasn't in to Christmas.

The message of Christmas is not 'Let It Snow' (which it did), or 'Let Us Shop' (which I did). Christmas is about worship.

It is about perceiving and following the Christmas Star right up to the place of worship. Christmas is about recognizing and accepting a life and destiny that is fundamentally different and better than the one into which I was born, and laying down my meager gifts and talents in exchange for the purpose and impact of a bright star on a dark night...of the baby that changed the course of history...of change, renewal, hope, humility and all of the other images presented in the nativity.

It is about following the star without getting lost or distracted. Without losing hope or interest. Without thinking that the journey is too long or too hard. Without being kidnapped by busyness, wealth, pride, pleasure or fear.

Christmas is about faith - not in my own ability to complete this journey, but in the ability of the Star to guide me and the Baby to accept me, and the angels to protect me and the wise men to teach me and the shepherds to rescue me if I get tangled up.

It is about encouraging each other, families, friends and other travelers to take a few more steps. It is about anticipation of the life that will be, and will never 'not be' again.

It's about worship.

I may be a day late, but I'm there now. I hope I never again 'do' all of the wrong stuff and 'not do' all of the right stuff where Christmas is concerned.

Just In Case

"An Open Letter to My Coworkers."

Just in case the Mayans got it right, and the world as we know it comes to an abrupt, catastrophic end tomorrow, I wanted to take this opportunity to tell each of you how much I have enjoyed working with you. We’ve had some fun, made some money, fought a little and laughed a lot. We really have created a family here, and I am proud to have been a part of it. I am truly grateful for the opportunity to get to know each of you and your families over the years, and will really miss you if I survive and you don’t. It’s been a great ride.

I’m pretty sure the predictions for 12-21-12 are wrong. God wouldn’t let the end of the world come before the next Star Trek movie is released May 17, 2013. But it doesn’t hurt to be prepared, and I don’t want to leave anything unsaid. So I want to say a special ‘just in case’ farewell to Diane and that damn dog she brings to work with her on Wednesday. Could it be that Junebug’s incessant whining is her way of trying to warn us about the impending doom coming tomorrow? Or is she just a whiny dog? We’ll all know soon.

And it will be too bad if the end of the world comes just two short days after Marla learned to make coffee in a real coffee pot.

If anything does happen tomorrow, I think we have the skill sets to deal with it expeditiously and effectively, each in our own way. Whatever it is that happens, Fred will probably shoot it. Janis will undoubtedly shake her finger at it and tell it what for. Diane will organize it, Chrys will enter it (assuming the paperwork is right), Brad will forget it by Sunday, Bryan will laugh at it and Tommy will probably offer to buy it. I expect Winn will send it an email and Jim will infamously say, “Hmm. I’ll be darn.” Charity will bitch about how much money it costs, and Mario will wave politely and say, “Helllow”. We can tell Esteban to fix it, then all chant, “He broke it, he broke it.” I think we’ll be OK.

One never knows about these ‘end of the world’ predictions. So far, they’ve all been wrong. But only one has to be right, and none of us knows whether this is the one.

But it occurs to me today, very possibly the day before the end of it all, that we should each do our best to Finish Strong and go out with a bang. And, no, I don’t mean a big party! I mean living life as if today is our last day here – doing something really good, profound, worthy of the effort that has been invested in us, etc. And if the world doesn’t end tomorrow, maybe we should start living every day with the same mindset. If the world continues on past tomorrow, it will not be unchanged. We can, individually and corporately, change it for the better. (This is the only real value I can see in all of these doomsday predictions anyway.)

And just in case something does happen, we need a plan – strike that – a STRATEGY. So, I propose that in the event of some calamity tomorrow, we should all head for Esteban’s house in Mexico. It’s in Tecozautla, Mexico just a little NNW of Mexico City. I’m sure if we ask people down there where his house is, they’ll be able to tell us. If doomsday comes, we’ll all meet there and eat tamales and drink tequila. If worse comes to worse I really hope to see you all there.

If It Fits, It Ships

"Wisdom from the Post Office? Really?"

One profound thought I had as I relive and digest the Africa trip I took earlier this year, and the guy I hoped would turn out to be a closer friend, is about relationships, connections and even romance.

I'm not a 19-year old college kid, and I (surprisingly enough) have spent exactly no time second guessing myself, wondering why things didn't work out, asking myself what I could have done diffferently, etc.

Hey. For me, that's pretty damn good.

Furthermore, I didn't 'not' do these things on purpose. I just naturally assumed the stance that, "It Is What It Is", and dismissed the whole thing. Honestly, this is really unlike me. But it feels good.

Thinking through it a little more, I decided that I'm old enough, secure enough in who I am, and smart enough to look at things differently now than I would have a few years ago. In business long ago, I learned the axiom that, "if the best I can do isn't good enough, there's no hope for you." With irate customers, employees or even vendors, the best I can do is all there is. There isn't any more. If there was, I would do it.

It's fun to feel the same about relationships. I fully understand my limitations and shortcomings. But I have a lot of assets too. If I'm not good enough (which may indeed be true), then there's nothing more I can offer, nothing else to put on the table.

Which leads me to say, "Best of luck to you, and Have a nice life. I have a good life without you, and have no interest in intruding into yours." Then let the whole thing fall on the ground and get back to work.

Too bad I wasn't a good fit. It would have been a fun trip.

Five Day Forecast

"I'm behind blogging. I better hurry and get caught up."

Since, assuming the Mayans were right, the end of the world is Friday, I better update my blog.

I did indeed make it back from a wonderful trip to Africa. It was awesome. We did a lot of really good things, fun things and eye-opening things. The guy I like? Well, "I'm a great guy but not good enough." Gee, I never heard that before.

Since then, life has been frantically busy, which I hate. But it has been filled with good things, which I love. Because time is so short, I won't share the details. But the last three months have flown by faster than any other time period I can remember.

One thing I will say is that November and December (so far) have been terrible for sales at work. We're having the worst two months since July, 2008. This is exactly how things started for us in December, 2007 before the recession. We were impacted six months before the rest of the world knew what was going on. Hopefully this isn't round two.

(But if it is, oh well. The world ends Friday anyway.)

It's too bad too. I was really looking forward to 2013. 2011 was the year of Momentum for me. 2012 was a year to basically coast. 2013 was shaping up to be the year of Wellness and Strength. I'm really ready to focus on these issues in my life, our business and the world at large. I have even been considering resurrecting by blog.

Well, hopefully the forecast above is as wrong as most of our local weather forecasts. I'm convinced that Oklahoma is Purgatory for meteorologists. They never get it right here.

Greetings From Zambia

"When 70% of the earth is covered with water, why does 85% of the world's population lack clean, safe water?"

I've been in Zambia all week with a team of guys working to hand drill a water well in a remote village and orphanage. The object of the exercise is to bring the tools, drill a well and train a group of local workers to replicate the process over and over after we leave.

We're on our fourth day of drilling, have reached water and will complete the project tomorrow.

It has been an amazing week.

It is amazing to see the progress that has been made since my last visit in 2009.

It is amazing to ride in a boat and stumble upon a herd of elephants crossing the river.

It is amazing to see people living in grass huts with no plumbing or air conditioning, but they do have a satellite dish, TV, and a smart phone.

It is amazing to write a blog post from a lodge 20 miles from a city that is 100 miles from any sign of civilization.

It is amazing to see such big smiles from kids when you give them candy.

It is amazing to give a few people an entirely new vocation in less than a week. The group we are training was hand picked because they have spent time in jail and need a better way to feed their families.

It is amazing to be here with a really wonderful guy I really like.

It will be amazing to continue on with him to Kenya this weekend.

I am amazed, impressed and thankful.

Arrogant or Stupid?

"Sometimes people, even Presidents, say the stupidest things."

One of our customers recently put up a banner at his business. Yeah, the business he started from scratch and now employs 600 people. Yeah, the business he sacrificed for and struggled with and nurtured along like a parent raises a child. Yeah, the business he made - the antithesis of the millions of Americans who punch in at 9:12, out at 4:48, take an hour and a little for lunch and bitch about how little money they make.

As a political cynic, who believes that neither party has my best interests in mind, a clue what to do to make the economy better or any idea what to do about the spiraling debt or the consequences thereof, I am not taking sides on the political front.

But this guy does have a point.

I get what Obama was saying. The reason small business can start and grow and thrive and make money is because of the infrastructure established and maintained by the government. Everything from roads and transportation to legal concepts and judicial contract enforcement to a stable financial system to the military and foreign policy arm of the government comes together to allow people to start a business and live the American Dream.

The same infrastructure allows people to just get a job, do what they need to do to get by and enjoy life with other priorities outside of the business paradigm.

But the way Obama presented his argument was offensive to a lot of people who are going the extra mile and doing it well - and providing employment to hundreds in the process. Obama's comment was arrogant and provocative, not to mention pretty much wrong.

Obama (and a whole lot of other people) have forgotten that the single biggest difference between the U.S.A. and the post WWII Soviet Bloc behind the Iron Curtain is people like Butch. People who are allowed to take risks, enjoy rewards, make little business grow into bigger ones, employee people and pay taxes.etc.

I understand Obama's point. But it could be equally argued that the government in it's current not-so-glorious-form could not exist without whatever Obama claims small business owners didn't create.

I wish we had a serious candidate for President who I could be proud to vote for and proud of once elected. Do I live in a fairy tale world?

Connections

"Music consists of notes, chords, scales and rhythm."

I have always thought that the Universe resembles music more than any other model. Music is made up of notes. But a note in itself is not the important thing. The way notes connect through scales, chords, rhythm, melody, counter melody, etc -- in other words the way notes are related -- is what makes music.

Life is about connections, relationships, stories unfolding and developing and mixing together. It's this way in nature, in humanity and in every facet of philosophy, religion and thought. This concept drives Science crazy, but oh well.

So, along the lines of connections, I'm going back to Zambia this fall. I'm going with a team to drill a water well and teach some Zambians how to use the equipment to drill more after we're gone. With all of the differences between Oklahoma and rural Zambia, one thing that is the same is the need for clean, potable water. But there, kids get eaten occasionally by alligators as they draw dirty water from a river for their families. I am passionate about fixing that.

So connect the dot to a relatively new acquaintance who I see every Wednesday as we take food to homeless people here in Oklahoma City. He has spent time in Kenya, and works with food, education and orphanage programs there - just like what we're trying to build in Zambia. I invited him to go with us. He said, "Yes".

So, since we're going to be over there anyway, we're going to take a couple of extra days and go see his people in Kenya too.

I wonder how many more dots will connect before this is all said and done? Talk about excited!

Let the music continue, and continue to increase!