Fast Carbs, Slow Carbs, Tofu and Bean Sprouts

"Does a pot of coffee qualify as the Breakfast of Champions?"

As my focus this year is Wellness and Strength, and specifically eating better (for now), I'm reading about a more intelligent way to eat. I'm not going to eat tofu and bean sprouts for the rest of my life, but I can do better than I am.

So, I've been studying a little, and here's what I've learned so far:

1) I should eat breakfast within 30 minutes of waking up in the morning, and should eat something every 2-3 hours all day. This is supposed to kick start my metabolism and make my body use more energy. God knows I could use a good kick start.

2) At least one meal each day should include protein (which is pretty easy), some - but not too many - fast carbs, and a whole bunch of slow carbs.

I'm stuck on the slow carbs. Seems like this is cauliflower, broccoli, lettuce, etc. How do I eat that for breakfast? I think some beans count too. Most of this stuff gives me gas, and I don't want any of it 30 minutes after waking up.

So, I'm sitting around my house this morning drinking my morning pot of coffee and sucking on this E-Cigarette, thinking about what I should eat for breakfast. Honestly, I don't have anything on hand. I haven't regularly eaten breakfast since...well, ever.

I began to think of all of my travels. If I were any place in the whole world, and could have anything at all that I wanted for breakfast, what would I eat?

I really just want my coffee. And a real cigarette.

How about a 'fat pill' (I think they're called doughnuts). Yumm.