Who Is Sitting On Whose Ass?

"Fund Programs Individually. Make Cuts Across The Board."

There's so much nonsense talk about the Federal Budget going on out there. Politicians and members of the press are throwing rocks around like hand grenades, talking about how people will be hurt by across the board cuts, and our way of life is at stake, and we'll be thrown into another recession, and it's always the other sides' fault.

Yesterday, the Speaker of the House and the Senate Majority Leader exchanged the 'ass' word, telling each other to get off theirs and do what they wanted. Very entertaining. I laughed my ass off.

Everybody knows that the budget (Federal Spending) is insanely out of control. Everybody knows that spending has to decrease and taxes have to increase. Everybody knows that the status quo is unsustainable. But nobody can fix it.

It is simply not within government's scope to get smaller. Anytime anyone talks about cutting spending for a particular program or special interest, they are picking a fight. Someone out there passionately believes in whatever program is being cut, whether it's the military or animal rights advocacy groups. And someone, despite the funding cut to whatever their passion happens to be, will find money to crucify the politician who instigates any such cut on election day.

The only prayer government has for extending its fiscal demise is to implement across the board cuts. Nobody likes them, but everyone will understand them. Personally, I think we should make significant, almost fatal cuts across the board.

Then government can do what it does best. It can go back through the list individually and fund the important programs. The more important the program, the more support it will have for funding and the quicker the funding process will be.

The programs that aren't too important? Well, that's what committees are for.

It's just not that damn hard.

Weight Loss Is A Full Time Job

"I already have one of those."

I had dinner with a friend over the weekend. I didn't know it, but he has been working really hard this year to lose wieght, gain muscle and be more healthy. He is doing exactly what I am unwilling to do: He eats only tofu and bean sprouts and spends two hours a day, six days a week at the gym.

His religious fervor for losing weight and being more healthy is admirable. I am not criticizing him at all. As a matter of fact, I applaud his success so far. In just six weeks, he has lost 24 lbs and looks completely different. He is toning up nicely and feels much better. He has more energy, enthusiasm, endurance and strength. I'm proud of him. But his journey is not my journey.

I might be able to suffer through such a program for a few weeks, or even a few months. But I have no interest in adopting it as a lifestyle. I have never enjoyed exercise. Even back in college, everyone told me if I would work out regularly and especially run, my body would crave it. It would be a joy, not a chore. That never happened.

I want to eat better. I want to learn to eat more healthy, less processed food. I want to get away from convenience food. I might even enjoy cooking if I'd learn a little more about it. Of course, my friend isn't just eating tofu and bean sprouts, but in our discussion about eating, I would only eat about 30% of the stuff he said he is eating. I don't like yellow squash and wouldn't have a sardine up my nose if I had room for a freight train. I can't imagine eating both at the same meal.

If that's all there was to eat, I would certainly lose weight - I'd starve!

I'm convinced that I don't have to live that way.

My friend got a rather direct letter from his cardiologist that suggested he does have to live that way. My solution to that is: "Avoid The Cardiologist!" But he is five years older than me, and didn't do what I am willing to do this year.

And I am making some progress. More on that in the next post or few.

For now, as I stand at the bottom of the staircase looking up at my friend, I am impressed.

Knight In Shining Armor

"My brother had a great Valentine's Day."

The flip side of my Valentine's Day Funk (which I experience every year to some extent) is my brother's day.

My sister in law was on the ill fated Party (Potty?) Cruise that experienced an engine fire and was adrift in the Gulf of Mexico for five days. They were dragged back into port on none other than Valentine's Day.

My brother relished being the Knight in Shining Armor that showed up in Mobile, AL Thursday night when the passengers disembarked. Through no small amount of collusion and coordination, my sister in law was informed that a hotel shuttle would meet her at the dock so she could go to a hotel and clean up before catching a plane to Houston, another bus to Galveston and commence the 8+ hour drive home.

Indeed a van was waiting, the driver holding a sign with her name on it right in front of his face. She said, "Here I am" and he said, "Me too." He was ready with food and vodka. She was very glad to see him.

Awwww.

They went to the hotel for whatever was left of Valentine's day, then boarded a private jet that my bro managed to finagle by trading some parts we didn't have a lot of money tied up in. They flew home in style along with five of her companions that were equally done with the cruise experience.

It was really sweet. How often does one have the opportunity to be a hero on Valentine's Day?

My Pity Party Is Over Now

"I'm done feeling sorry for myself...just in time for Valentine's Day."

Certain events last week put me in a funk. I admit it. But I'm done now and recovering nicely. I should be fully recovered just in time for the annual funk I experience on the day that the whole world pokes fun at people like me by flaunting their sweetheart relationships in front of us and implying that if we were worth a crap we'd have one too.

I've prepared for it the best I can. I've turned off Facebook, bought a couple of new books to read, stocked up on vodka and sparkling cranberry juice cocktail and made a list of reasons I'm happy to be alone and pathetic. I should be OK.

Now all I have to do is figure out what to buy myself for Valentine's Day. I don't want or need anything. So, my variation on the theme of, "What do you get someone for Valentine's Day who has everything he wants?" still needs an answer. I'm sure I'll think of something.

Then I'll take a deep breath and hold my nose through the flower deliveries at work and the stories about what everybody else is doing for VD. Then I'll go home, eat a TV dinner, have a few drinks and read myself to sleep. Maybe I'll dream one more time about what might be next year if God loves me. I'll make it through another one, hopefully with minimal anguish.

For all of those more fortunate than me, enjoy your day. Spend time with your Valentine and do whatever you can to make it a perfect day for them.

I'm relatively confident that I'll resurface when it's all over.

We All Have A Purpose, Right?

"After millions of years of evolution, this guy finally serves a purpose...and it makes people mad."

Yesterday, someone was talking about an accidental oil spill in their swimming pool. I mentioned that it probably took a whole flock of sea gulls to clean up that mess. I was, of course, berated badly for being such an environmentally insensitive ass.

But what other purpose do sea gulls actually serve? Could it be that they were created just for such an occasion? They seem to do it really well, and are better equipped to clean up oil spills that anything else science has come up with.

I'm kidding about the sea gulls, obviously. But sometimes I feel like one of them.

There is a concept in Christianity that we are being 'poured out' for the benefit of others, and that this is not just our duty, but our glory. Self sacrifice and giving up that which is important to me for the someone else's sake is thought of highly. And we are taught to make these sacrifices willingly - with enthusiasm.

We should be content to be part of a process that benefits other people and makes their lives better without desiring to participate in whatever 'better' turns out to be. We are taught that jealousy is a bad thing, and we should not want what someone else has - even if we had a role in helping them have it. We need to learn to be patient and that our turn will come.

So today, I'm a student. I guess I'm supposed to enjoy it.

I Miss My Wednesday Afternoons

"It's all over Facebook, but if you haven't watched it yet..."



It's all about perspective, huh?

For over a year, from November 2011 until December 2012, I spent Wednesday afternoons working with a few organizations that deliver food to homeless camps around Oklahoma City. I was really thankful to have the distraction from work, the opportunity to serve others in a meaningful way and the exposure to other people who also have a heart to help.

I gave that up this year for several reasons. The primary thought behind not doing that anymore is, "Anybody can stand here and hand out boxes of food, but I'm the only one that can do my job." And my job needed my Wednesday afternoons again. What can I say?

But I really miss the connection to the people I was working with and for. And the video above doesn't just apply to third wold countries. It applies equally as well to hundreds or even thousands of people living in each and every big city in the first world (whatever that is).

Sometimes it's good to take a step back, see the trivial things that genuinely irritate us, and realize what a blessing those irritations really are.

DISCLAIMER:
The video above is from www.waterislife.com. These folks make and distribute straws that purify water. Not sure what else they do, and I am not advocating the organization - just the thoughts presented in the video.

This is not the same organization whose equipment we took to Zambia last October. That group is called Water4Life. Their website is Water4Life. I can wholeheartedly recommend these guys. Their organization is first rate, and their equipment works well. Their stuff is used to drill safe water wells that require no power or equipment to work.

Now Here's An Oxymoron Conundrum

"Maybe old dogs can learn new tricks."

Please Meet Shane Windmeyer and Dan Cathy.

Shane is co-founder and executive director of Campus Pride, a national advocacy group for gay college students.

Dan is none other than the infamous president and COO of Chick-fil-A that got so much press last year with its corporate gay bashing porgram.

Shane was Dan's guest at the Chick-fil-A Bowl New Year's Eve.

Wow.

Shane wrote an article for Huffpost Gay Voices that was published yesterday. The article can be found here.

The Cliffs Notes are that these two diabolically opposed people met and became friends. The Chick-fil-A dude isn't quite as bad as previously thought, Chick-fil-A stopped supporting the worst of the anti-gay programs and (I guess) we're all supposed to go eat chicken sandwiches again.

I'm encouraged by the article, but obviously skeptical. Rather than share my reservations, I just want to encourage everyone to read the article.

I think I'll leave it there for now.