"It's Not My Dirt."
As I have more conversations with people, I am reminded that I have better conversations with Lake Eufaula than I do with most people. I love the lake.
On of my earliest conversations involved dirt. I was out by the water at sunset. The weather was beautiful, the sunset was stunning, but the lake was dirty. Of course there are reasons for the dirt. It had rained a lot lately, the lake was 'turning over' which all lakes do a couple of times each year, and the wind had been blowing like crazy which is not uncommon in Oklahoma.
"You're dirty, " I said.
"Yeah, but it's not my dirt," said the lake. "I'll take care of it little by little. I'll sink it to the bottom. I'll get rid of it. It just takes time and patience. That's what lakes do. Lakes take dirt from everywhere and get rid of it."
As I thought about lakes, and how every stream that feeds in to them brings water and dirt. Animals pee in them, people dump trash in them, rain brings everything from pesticides to oil residue, businesses dump all kinds of chemicals and waste into them. Lakes process a lot of dirt. Water is the universal solvent, and lakes have a thousand tools to make water clean ranging from oxidation and chemical reactions to bacteria and other organisms.
"You're dirty too, but it's not your dirt," the Lake said, intruding on my thoughts. "You're the kind of person that absorbs dirt from other people. It's not your dirt, but you carry it around and dwell on it like it's your problem."
"Maybe," says I. "I just want to help. I want to be like you and clean it up. I know I can do that to some extent. I can say the right things and make someone's day better. I can help people see their situation from a different perspective. I have tools too."
And I realized that the tools I have don't work unless I start from the perspective that it's not my dirt.
I walked away from that conversation more aware of how dirty I am, and also lighter and happier because a lot of what I carry around really isn't my dirt. And I am pretty good at cleaning it up. But it does take time and patience. I began to realize that if I couldn't clean it up, I needed to let it go. This is all learned behaviour. And I'm learning.
This week especially, I think I needed to be reminded of that story.