"Still a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest. "
As the year winds down, I begin to coagulate the events of 2010 into snapshots or sound bytes that will encapsulate them as 'history'. There's nothing special about the end of the year, except it's as good an opportunity to do this exercise as any other. But now and then, it's healthy to take some of the issues floating around one's life and consolidate them into digestible, disposable (or not) packages - like a CD or DVD - that can be stored, thrown out, recalled later if desired or forgotten completely.
But the main point of the exercise is to take those issues out of play; To stop the circular thinking, the 'what if' scenarios, the self-searching and the questioning of every action involved. To resolve them and graduate from them as one graduates 5th grade. To mitigate damage and count up the losses (if applicable). To keep whatever real value remains and drop the rest like a horse drops balls of shit.
There is an unavoidable verdict concerning a certain situation that I should have finalized way hack in 2004. I didn't do it because I didn't want to. I didn't like the math. I didn't want the verdict. But it is what it is. What I thought I saw in 2001 turned out to be nothing more substantial than Dust in the Wind. I let the situation rest for five years, from 2006 to 2010. What I know I saw in 2004 (and dismissed as illusion) is the only reality I can find in 2010.
For the record, I really did love the fantasy of 2001. I bought the fraud completely with a good heart, and it changed my life. It opened my eyes and mind to an existence I never thought I would have, and I benefited greatly from the experience. I heard exactly what I wanted to hear, saw exactly what I was looking for and loved it completely.
But on New Year's Eve, when the rhetorical question is asked, "Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind?", the verdict will be "Yes and Amen. So Let It Be".
Outside of this and the previous post on my blog, I've had a fantastic year. I will henceforth turn my attention to the really great and wonderful things that happened in 2010.