"Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away... "
One of the End of Year tasks I have learned to dread is the annual (or so) trip back to my old world, to the company I worked with for thirteen years and supposedly owned half of. Without bitching any more about the circumstances of my demise or the people involved, I just want to say how glad, (happy, to be envied, thankful, joyful and content) I am to be living my new life and not that one.
That place is so dead the desk chairs should be replaced with slabs from the morgue. The atmosphere in the place is so negative, so slow, so lethargic it depressed me (and made me mad).
I am really not a bitter person! But now and then, I bounce off of bitterness like a bad check. Amazingly, it almost always happens the same way. First, with the realization that I don't want to be where they are now. I don't want to think like them, be like them, associate with them or be considered a part of them. I think it was providential that I was set free from there these six years ago, and I think had I stayed around there, I would be as negative and dead as they are. I'm not the type of person who would ever have given up on them. The only way out for me was for them to kick me out.
Today, in that old office with people I genuinely loved and respected, all I could feel was pity for them. They've turned the place into a pathetic thing - the inside out, upside down version of what I wanted it to be. I even gave a book to the guy who I trained, mentored and loved. The book says all of the same things I used to say to him every day. It's a great book. But I fear it's already in File 13. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. I wanted to cry.
Finally, I am sincerely grateful for the life I have now. Now I work with family, with people who are unafraid and excited about reaching out and trying new ventures. Success breeds success just like depression is contagious. My new company is the place I need to be, and I am proud of it.
I hope that today will propel me forward in life like a rock is propelled forward by being pulled back in a sling shot. But tonight I feel drained and dirty.