"It's been by far the best weather of the year."
It's already time to say good-bye to September. If I had my way, we'd just have another one or two months like this back to back. The weather has been beautiful, and I've had a great month. The Fair was in town and that was a blast, I've gotten to ride my bike a little when the weather is just right and the wind isn't blowing (rare conditions indeed for Oklahoma), no trauma or drama at work - just lots of it (and that's a good thing) and I had visitors from another planet to my blog. They've pretty much all flittered away by now, but it was interesting to have guests.
My thoughts on boundaries and obstacles continue. Clearly, the difference between the two is dependent on one's goals and dreams in life. If my goal is to be a really good gay guy, many of my boundaries should be treated as obstacles and overrun with passion. If my goal is to be a Godly man, and a source and reflector of good things, the boundaries vs. obstacles equation changes. This combined with the overview of ten years without a closet (that I wrote over a period of weeks but decided not to share) leads to some inescapable conclusions that I don't want to hear.
So I guess I'll start October reviewing my goals and dreams, take a deep breath and make the hard decision to go where they lead me. But not today. Overall I'm pretty tired of carrying around the Oxymoron, trying to reconcile two different paradigms when I don't fit into either one. Right now, I'm about a millimeter from throwing them both into the bottom of Lake Eufaula, and just being myself - the enigma that I've been my whole life - Good, but Not Good Enough.
But this is the year for Momentum. And, like the tide and the calender, momentum waits for no one. September was great, and it's over. We'll see what October brings. So far, it's shaping up to be a relatively sane month. We'll see what it has in store.