"What's in a name, anyway?"
So the "Why am I gay?" question, which has provided a significant level of frustration for me in the past because I've been taught (wrongly) that it is abominable in God's sight, needs an answer, or at least a resolution. I looked for one, and the more I looked, the bigger the question became and the more frustrated I became with the answers available to me.
And then an event happened in an instant. I could characterize the event as an Epiphany, a fever breaking, the sun bursting through the clouds, an awakening or something similar. But in a certain instant in time, I knew something I did not know in the instant before. Here's what I knew in that instant:
First, I knew that God has many names. We call Him God, but what does that mean? We call Him Faithful, Savior, Provider, Father, Creator, Healer, and a hundred other names. Each of these names describes or connotes some attribute, some manifestation, some characteristic of God. Every one of these names are true.
I knew that I had a name too. I am called Terry. So what? What does that mean? I have many names, just like God. In my case, some of those names are complimentary and I am proud of them. Others are derogatory, and I am not proud of them.
Then I knew that God has only called me one name. God has called me 'His Son'.
And I knew that any other name that I might be called, true or false, good or bad, complimentary or derogatory, is irrelevant; Any other name that I can be called is overshadowed and made insignificant by the name that God called me. I have only one name that matters, and that name was given to me by the Only One Who Matters. And it is a good name, a name I am proud of, a name that overrides any other name.
And I knew that I would never again allow anyone on this planet to devalue that name or try to take it away from me.
And I knew that I would never again ask, "Why am I gay?", "Why am I half-blind?", "Why am I - any other name - "?
And the game changed. In that instant, life changed for me. Instead of fighting, trying and failing to be worthy or acceptable (or just not offensive) to God, I started thinking in terms of how to honor the name He gave me in every thing I do. I am His son, and I want to be good at being His son in whatever context life places me in; gay, straight, rich, poor, slave, free, leader, follower, teacher, student, almost blind or any other context.
Life is not about all of my names. It is about honoring my Father with everything that I have - my mind, body, sexuality, heart, soul, money, all of my possessions and all of my dreams. Life isn't about not being any number of somethings, it is about being something special, wonderful and exciting.
The question is resolved.