"Draw me unto Thee, and let us RUN together."
I haven't talked enough yet about my church, Expressions OKC. Finding a church that I can deal with was one of the major accomplishments of 2010. I haven't been to church in several years for about a zillion reasons (excuses). Hypocrisy, preaching condemnation, church politics, the fakeness of it all, focus on money instead of Christ, blah, blah, blah.
Then there's the Gay vs. God issue (read the Christian Math link at the right to see what I think of that mess). I felt like I had to lie to go to church. If people really knew me, they'd kick me so far out of their church I'd wind up over the rainbow in the land of Oz. And they'd do it so fast I'd break the sound barrier on the way. Most of the people who would have kicked me out are probably being less than truthful about themselves too. Overall, some of the churches I've been to made me feel dirtier after I left than I was when I got there.
I've been to some other 'affirming' churches (whatever that means) in the OKC area, but they don't seem like real churches to me. Some of them reject the creeds and sacraments of Christianity altogether. Some mix up Jesus with some kind of social or political agenda. They call themselves churches, but they aren't churches any more than the thousand fried chicken stands around the country that call themselves churches.(Get it? Churches Fried Chicken? Ha Ha.)
Remember, I'm nobody's judge, and I'm not criticizing other organizations or their mission. I just don't belong there. It's not what I'm about.
I cannot express how wonderful it was to go there the first few times, and stand in God's presence in worship with a bunch of other gay guys. The experience was overwhelming to me. For so long I've stood in church and tried to worship God in Spirit and in Truth, but I'm being untruthful with everyone else in the place. WOW. It's so cool not to have to do that anymore.
Although Expressions is a 'specialty church' in that it serves the gay and Lesbian community, it is first a Jesus church. They believe and practice authentic Christianity. But in the heart of service, not politics or social agendas, they do operate a community outreach center for the gay world that offers free HIV testing and other services. This is cool too.
BUT, I'm finding that I am much more "Type A" than my new church. I may be walking in a different place just now, or I may be certifiably crazy (such is a constant possibility for me the way I see things). These guys move too slow. I'm ready to fly on Eagle's wings, and participate in the Universal Momentum that I've been thinking about lately. I want to RUN the race that is set before us, and drop all of the baggage that holds me back like a bad debt. It seems like a lot of churches allow people to get too bogged down in the hurts, situations and circumstances around their own little lives. The objective of healing is to overcome/obliterate those things so we can climb the important mountains and do it expeditiously.
I want to grow up. I want to reach out. I want to have some impact someplace. I want to let my light shine. I want to walk into the destiny that I believe God has ordained for those who love Him. I want to live on the edge a little. I am not content to hide myself in a church and sit around talking about the same things I've been hearing since I was nine.
God, plug me in!