"They say life's turning points include graduating high school, getting married, having your first child and your first hit of LSD."
Today I'm going in for my yearly physical. My last yearly physical was in 2004, so I guess it's about time. Since 'Butt Ugly' is not really a medical condition, and STD's only occur in patients having 'S', I can't really think of any particular reason that I'm going just now or what I'm supposed to tell the Dr when he wants to know what's wrong with me. But I am getting older, and surely if he looks close enough, he'll find something.
I'm sure I'll sit through yet another passionate chewing out about the dire consequences of smoking. And I'll try not to point out that it's only slightly less healthy to smoke than to be hooked on all those antidepressants these guys pass out like candy to everyone else on the planet (so long as one has insurance). Dr's don't like to hear that, even though they know the premise is not invalid.
I'm sure my cholesterol is too high. Isn't everyone's? I think high cholesterol and stinky feet are two traits that almost everybody shares. My blood pressure isn't too high, and shouldn't be a problem so long as I don't spend too much time around my younger niece and nephews - and customers pay their bills on time at work.
I'm not obese, just too fat. The solution to that problem is 'move more, eat less', and I'm gonna start doing that first thing day after tomorrow. Except for the additional motion required and the absence of so many calories, I shouldn't have too much trouble with it.
What I'd really like to have is what most other people get from a few drinks. I want to think stupid things are funny, believe that everyone likes me and know what it's like to be 10 ft tall and bulletproof. Alcohol for the most part just makes me sleepy and gives me a headache. What's my second choice?
Are you allowed to ask your Dr that? I guess I'll find out in a couple of hours.