I decided to kick the public out of my head. I turned off access for the general public to my blog today.
In the past, the thought that someone else might actually read my ramblings helped motivate me to coagulate my thoughts into some reasonable presentation. I tried to say what I think in a way that I wasn't embarrassed for someone else to read. Plus it helped me update it regurlarly. That was actually important. Then it became a chore.
I still need the journal. But the formatting, finding a picture that represents my thoughts, coming up with a catchy phrase or quote to kick off each post, etc. has run its course.
So, previously I updated my blog just in case someone else would read it. (And a couple of people did, but not many.) Now I want to update my blog knowing that it won't see the light of day, just to consolidate and express my thoughts.
We'll see if it works better.
Wednesday, June 29, 2016
Friday, September 18, 2015
A Cryin' Shame
"I Love Giving...But"
I love giving to organizations, causes, needs or people who need help. I have a life long track record of generosity. It's part of my own expression of who I am. I love the opportunity to contribute and help. (Note the infamous 'period' at the end of that sentence.) Giving is about self expression and me being who I am, not so much about whoever benefits from the gift.
But I have to object to some of the giving opportunities that have presented themselves lately.
It is a shameful thing that teachers and schools have to beg for donations for basic classroom supplies. That's just wrong. Teachers and classrooms are two of the most important assets any society can have. Why are these guys having to go on TV and beg for money? Their needs should be met by the government as a public investment in our way of life. And we pay plenty of tax dollars for this purpose already, State and federal government should fund education, and do it well. I understand raising money for extracurricular activities and opportunities for things that are above and beyond normal classroom teaching. But I can't understand why teachers are asked to raise money like missionaries just to do their job.
And even worse is the need for wounded veterans to raise money for equipment to make their lives better. These people signed, trained, traveled where they were told to, and made great personal sacrifices to make the world safer and better for all of us. Whatever they need should be supplied without them having to beg like animal rights groups for funding.
These things are statements about our culture and condemnations of our government and our ideology.
If we're going to fight wars, we have to take care of our wounded.
If we have a future, it is based on and depends on educating our children.
If our nation can't do these basic things, we really are failing as a government and a people.
But I have to object to some of the giving opportunities that have presented themselves lately.
It is a shameful thing that teachers and schools have to beg for donations for basic classroom supplies. That's just wrong. Teachers and classrooms are two of the most important assets any society can have. Why are these guys having to go on TV and beg for money? Their needs should be met by the government as a public investment in our way of life. And we pay plenty of tax dollars for this purpose already, State and federal government should fund education, and do it well. I understand raising money for extracurricular activities and opportunities for things that are above and beyond normal classroom teaching. But I can't understand why teachers are asked to raise money like missionaries just to do their job.
And even worse is the need for wounded veterans to raise money for equipment to make their lives better. These people signed, trained, traveled where they were told to, and made great personal sacrifices to make the world safer and better for all of us. Whatever they need should be supplied without them having to beg like animal rights groups for funding.
These things are statements about our culture and condemnations of our government and our ideology.
If we're going to fight wars, we have to take care of our wounded.
If we have a future, it is based on and depends on educating our children.
If our nation can't do these basic things, we really are failing as a government and a people.
Friday, June 26, 2015
Supreme Court Affirms Gay Marriage
"So?"
Well, this morning the Supreme Court of the United States ruled that GLBT people have the right to marry.
So what? Is this really a big deal?
So, now gay couples have the same responsibility that straight people have to do it right. We'll see if a court decision impacts the level of commitment, faithfulness and fidelity in gay relationships. If marriage means anything, it means that couples work through problems, and stop trading in partners like they trade in their old cars now and then. Straight couples aren't doing that well in this area, and we'll see what the GLBT community does. Personally, I expect that divorce lawyers and going to be thrilled with the results of this decision. I hope that gay world makes me wrong.
So, the last stronghold of legal discrimination and differentiation between gay and straight people has been removed. The ramifications of this decision are a lot broader than marriage. If gay people can marry, and that is the most sacred, most untouchable social right, then they can reasonably expect to be treated as equals in every cultural or social arena. The big one has been overcome. The little ones shouldn't be a problem anymore.
So, another huge step in the redefining of Christianity in the U.S. is reinforced. Christians no longer have the right to hate gay people. They can disagree, just as they disagree with all kinds of people groups, legal decisions, behavior patterns, etc. Maybe it's time for Christianity to see itself as ambassadors of God's love and redemption rather than defenders of God's integrity. God's integrity doesn't need to be defended by a group of hard line, hypocritical, hateful people anyway, does it?
So, it really is a landmark day. Personally, I really hope that people younger than me, who love God with all of their hearts and are also gay, can can have the opportunity to enjoy life on a level that I never could. God bless and help them.
So what? Is this really a big deal?
So, now gay couples have the same responsibility that straight people have to do it right. We'll see if a court decision impacts the level of commitment, faithfulness and fidelity in gay relationships. If marriage means anything, it means that couples work through problems, and stop trading in partners like they trade in their old cars now and then. Straight couples aren't doing that well in this area, and we'll see what the GLBT community does. Personally, I expect that divorce lawyers and going to be thrilled with the results of this decision. I hope that gay world makes me wrong.
So, the last stronghold of legal discrimination and differentiation between gay and straight people has been removed. The ramifications of this decision are a lot broader than marriage. If gay people can marry, and that is the most sacred, most untouchable social right, then they can reasonably expect to be treated as equals in every cultural or social arena. The big one has been overcome. The little ones shouldn't be a problem anymore.
So, another huge step in the redefining of Christianity in the U.S. is reinforced. Christians no longer have the right to hate gay people. They can disagree, just as they disagree with all kinds of people groups, legal decisions, behavior patterns, etc. Maybe it's time for Christianity to see itself as ambassadors of God's love and redemption rather than defenders of God's integrity. God's integrity doesn't need to be defended by a group of hard line, hypocritical, hateful people anyway, does it?
So, it really is a landmark day. Personally, I really hope that people younger than me, who love God with all of their hearts and are also gay, can can have the opportunity to enjoy life on a level that I never could. God bless and help them.
Monday, June 22, 2015
Should We Educate Kids, Or Just Give Them Guns?
"Racially Motivated Gun Vioence? Who'd Have Thunk?"
I Support The Second Amendment. Period. But...
What do we think will happen in society when we give guns to kids but won't fund education?
There are a lot of people who were born on 3rd base. Their parents have enough money to get them an education, buy them their first car, bail them out of jail when they get their first DUI, fully fund their college experience, and set them up for life. Why do these guys think they actually hit a triple?
There are a lot of people who never had the opportunity to get a good education. They grew up in underfunded public schools with overworked and under-acknowledged teachers and couldn't afford college. They scraped up enough money for several down payments on cars from a 'buy here, pay here' place that raped them on interest. They miss a payment, and the cars are repossessed. They work for $8/hour as a worker bee whose purpose is to make someone else a ton of money. They are disenfranchised and disconnected from the American Dream, and (from their point of view) powerless to change that.
Education is empowerment. So is a gun. The Second Amendment is about empowerment of people against an oppressive government. We claim it as a right. But public education is a necessary evil. Rich people don't need it, and therefore don't want to pay for it. Poor people think in survival terms, not investment in the future terms, and don't appreciate it.
So why are we surprised when gun violence makes headlines?
Access to education is hard. Access to guns is easy. I think we can expect a lot more random, stupid gun violence in the future of our great country. (Or we could change our priorities a little.)
What do we think will happen in society when we give guns to kids but won't fund education?
There are a lot of people who were born on 3rd base. Their parents have enough money to get them an education, buy them their first car, bail them out of jail when they get their first DUI, fully fund their college experience, and set them up for life. Why do these guys think they actually hit a triple?
There are a lot of people who never had the opportunity to get a good education. They grew up in underfunded public schools with overworked and under-acknowledged teachers and couldn't afford college. They scraped up enough money for several down payments on cars from a 'buy here, pay here' place that raped them on interest. They miss a payment, and the cars are repossessed. They work for $8/hour as a worker bee whose purpose is to make someone else a ton of money. They are disenfranchised and disconnected from the American Dream, and (from their point of view) powerless to change that.
Education is empowerment. So is a gun. The Second Amendment is about empowerment of people against an oppressive government. We claim it as a right. But public education is a necessary evil. Rich people don't need it, and therefore don't want to pay for it. Poor people think in survival terms, not investment in the future terms, and don't appreciate it.
So why are we surprised when gun violence makes headlines?
Access to education is hard. Access to guns is easy. I think we can expect a lot more random, stupid gun violence in the future of our great country. (Or we could change our priorities a little.)
Sunday, June 21, 2015
Why Does A Dragon Have Need Of Gold Anyway?
"I thought dragons were extinct."
It seems that as I get older, I meet more and more people who have achieved their dreams - successful people who have done life right. They studied hard, developed life skills, worked hard, built their mansions and bank accounts and have everything they ever wanted. They are living the American dream, and I'm proud of them and happy for them. I'm farther away from that goal, but getting there sort of.
I believe in hard work and the risk/reward equation on which our economy and culture is built. I get the Republican disdain for a government that wants to take away the fruits of their labor and give it to people who didn't work for it, didn't make good decisions, don't earn their keep and don't add anything to our society. The government wouldn't care about them either, except that they can vote.
I even get it that people who crossed the finish line years ago, and have enough wealth to fund the rest of their lives and their children's still work every day to increase their success and impact on the world around them. They just keep doing what they do, being who they feel they are created to be and expressing themselves through the gifts and resources they have been given in life. Their self worth is in their success, and their reward quantifies their value. I get it.
But at some point, people become just like dragons of ages passed. They accumulate gold for its own sake, and defend it with all of the claws, teeth and fiery breath of the best folklore. They act as if they will live a thousand years, and drive themselves mad with fear that someone will take away their fortune.
I don't ever want to be a dragon.
I believe in hard work and the risk/reward equation on which our economy and culture is built. I get the Republican disdain for a government that wants to take away the fruits of their labor and give it to people who didn't work for it, didn't make good decisions, don't earn their keep and don't add anything to our society. The government wouldn't care about them either, except that they can vote.
I even get it that people who crossed the finish line years ago, and have enough wealth to fund the rest of their lives and their children's still work every day to increase their success and impact on the world around them. They just keep doing what they do, being who they feel they are created to be and expressing themselves through the gifts and resources they have been given in life. Their self worth is in their success, and their reward quantifies their value. I get it.
But at some point, people become just like dragons of ages passed. They accumulate gold for its own sake, and defend it with all of the claws, teeth and fiery breath of the best folklore. They act as if they will live a thousand years, and drive themselves mad with fear that someone will take away their fortune.
I don't ever want to be a dragon.
Thursday, May 28, 2015
A Conure Homeconing
"Be It Ever So Humble..."
Ahhh...That's Better.
After a three week (and a couple of days) hiatus, my T-Bird found his way back home last night. Somebody responded to my ad on Craigslist, and called me. Turns out that they live less than a block away. My bird landed on this nice lady's head Sunday night - the day he left my house. The lady recognized him as a domesticated bird, and put him in the same cage as her parakeet. Three weeks later, she called me to let me know she had found my bird.
So, just last weekend I gave up on my bird coming back. I assumed that by now he was cat food. Or perhaps he is married with children, on his way South toward Argentina where they are from. Since I could not know his fate, I may as well imagine a good outcome, right? Nonetheless, just last Sunday, I took his cage down and put it in the garage, accepting the end of my bird owner life. For the past three weeks, I actually enjoyed not having to come home and mess with him. Cleaning his cage was not very fun, and even though I enjoyed his company I didn't like being pooped on very well. "All's well," thought I. "Teddy is released to his highest good and best life."
Now he's back.
So I got his cage back out, set up his toys, food, water, etc. and I have my friend back. I'm thinking I should take him to the vet and have his wings removed. But then he wouldn't be a bird. I guess I'll just be more careful.
Bottom line is that I enjoyed the 3 week vacation, but I'm glad the little guy is back.
As for the three weeks, I sort of got the impression that the lady that found him planned on just keeping him. But he wasn't very nice to her, and nipped at her constantly. So when I went to get him, I pulled up to the house and said, "Man, I sure hope the bird you found is mine. I really miss the little turd."
The nice lady said, "At this point, you can feel free to take him even if he isn't yours."
It took him 3 days to settle down the first time I brought him to my house. Last night it took less than 20 minutes. He's back. He's home. He's happy. So am I. So is the nice lady.
Ahhh...That's Better.
After a three week (and a couple of days) hiatus, my T-Bird found his way back home last night. Somebody responded to my ad on Craigslist, and called me. Turns out that they live less than a block away. My bird landed on this nice lady's head Sunday night - the day he left my house. The lady recognized him as a domesticated bird, and put him in the same cage as her parakeet. Three weeks later, she called me to let me know she had found my bird.
So, just last weekend I gave up on my bird coming back. I assumed that by now he was cat food. Or perhaps he is married with children, on his way South toward Argentina where they are from. Since I could not know his fate, I may as well imagine a good outcome, right? Nonetheless, just last Sunday, I took his cage down and put it in the garage, accepting the end of my bird owner life. For the past three weeks, I actually enjoyed not having to come home and mess with him. Cleaning his cage was not very fun, and even though I enjoyed his company I didn't like being pooped on very well. "All's well," thought I. "Teddy is released to his highest good and best life."
Now he's back.
So I got his cage back out, set up his toys, food, water, etc. and I have my friend back. I'm thinking I should take him to the vet and have his wings removed. But then he wouldn't be a bird. I guess I'll just be more careful.
Bottom line is that I enjoyed the 3 week vacation, but I'm glad the little guy is back.
As for the three weeks, I sort of got the impression that the lady that found him planned on just keeping him. But he wasn't very nice to her, and nipped at her constantly. So when I went to get him, I pulled up to the house and said, "Man, I sure hope the bird you found is mine. I really miss the little turd."
The nice lady said, "At this point, you can feel free to take him even if he isn't yours."
It took him 3 days to settle down the first time I brought him to my house. Last night it took less than 20 minutes. He's back. He's home. He's happy. So am I. So is the nice lady.
Thursday, May 7, 2015
The World Just Ain't Right!
"This is so incredible it deserves a blog post."
This is real. No names have been changed. Your monitor is not broken. This is not April 1. I'm not pulling any pranks.
The lowly Houston Astros are at the top of the American League West standings in Major League Baseball - by 5 games!
I wanted to hurry and take a picture of it since it cannot possible last longer than a typical fart in the wind. That's one of the cool things about baseball. At the beginning of the season anybody can be in first place.
Last year, the Astros improved their reputation dramatically by being the Second team eliminated from the playoffs instead of the first. Year before last, the were out about three games past the All Star break.
I can't imagine they'll hold on to first place very long. But they've been there for over a month.Not bad.
DISCLAIMER: I'm not an Astros fan, or a fan of any team in the AL West. I used to be a Rangers fan, but they dumped all of my favorite players and they are from Texas. I'm trying on the Dodgers fan role. After all, their AAA team is now the OKC Dodgers (who are kicking ass and taking names in the PCL). I would really like to like the Dodgers, but I feel like I'm wearing pants that just don't fit. May have to start cheering for the Royals soon.
The lowly Houston Astros are at the top of the American League West standings in Major League Baseball - by 5 games!
I wanted to hurry and take a picture of it since it cannot possible last longer than a typical fart in the wind. That's one of the cool things about baseball. At the beginning of the season anybody can be in first place.
Last year, the Astros improved their reputation dramatically by being the Second team eliminated from the playoffs instead of the first. Year before last, the were out about three games past the All Star break.
I can't imagine they'll hold on to first place very long. But they've been there for over a month.Not bad.
DISCLAIMER: I'm not an Astros fan, or a fan of any team in the AL West. I used to be a Rangers fan, but they dumped all of my favorite players and they are from Texas. I'm trying on the Dodgers fan role. After all, their AAA team is now the OKC Dodgers (who are kicking ass and taking names in the PCL). I would really like to like the Dodgers, but I feel like I'm wearing pants that just don't fit. May have to start cheering for the Royals soon.
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
I'll Fly Away
"My Green Cheeked Conure Flew The Coop."
One event in my life never made my blog. During my hiatus I got a new roommate. I found him wandering around PetSmart and brought him home. He isn't a Teddy Bear, He's a Teddy Bird (T-Bird for short and because it sounds more publicly acceptable). Anyway, my Green Cheeked Conure quickly became one of my best friends - and much better company than my Jack Russell Terrorist aka 'Damn Dog'.
Teddy came to my house when he was about 6 weeks old. His wings were clipped so he couldn't fly. As they grew back, he became a pretty good flyer, and I became more diligent about keeping doors and windows closed, not using ceiling fans, etc. I couldn't stand the thought of clipping his wings. First of all, his flight feathers are beautiful. Brightly colored Red, Green, Grey and Blue. Absolutely gorgeous!
Second, he's a bird and he's supposed to fly. It was cool when he flew from his cage to my shoulder and back. It seemed cruel to cut his wings and ground him. He's a bird, not a hamster.
But he got away from me last weekend when I let the dog in the house. I opened the door just a little wider because it was raining really hard when the weather guys said it would be completely dry. Out he went into the wild, stormy Blue Yonder (whatever that is). Haven't seen or heard from him since.
Part of me misses him. I also understand that he's not really equipped to be a wild bird in Oklahoma. It gets too hot, the food that he knows about doesn't grow here year round. etc. etc. I know I should have prevented his impromptu escape. He doesn't know to be afraid of cats (although Teddy is pretty much afraid of everything). And besides all of that, I miss him like crazy.
But another part of me is happy for him - maybe even a little jealous. I want to fly away like that! I want to soar through the treetops and play with the other birds. I want to leave a lot of crap behind and never look back. I can't help feeling a little proud of him for leaving the confines of his cage inside my house and embracing the wide, wonderful world.
I've had a bird before, but not like this one. I wanted to be a caretaker and enjoy him. But I never wanted to be a warden. I guess Teddy didn't want to be in a jail either.
Teddy came to my house when he was about 6 weeks old. His wings were clipped so he couldn't fly. As they grew back, he became a pretty good flyer, and I became more diligent about keeping doors and windows closed, not using ceiling fans, etc. I couldn't stand the thought of clipping his wings. First of all, his flight feathers are beautiful. Brightly colored Red, Green, Grey and Blue. Absolutely gorgeous!
Second, he's a bird and he's supposed to fly. It was cool when he flew from his cage to my shoulder and back. It seemed cruel to cut his wings and ground him. He's a bird, not a hamster.
But he got away from me last weekend when I let the dog in the house. I opened the door just a little wider because it was raining really hard when the weather guys said it would be completely dry. Out he went into the wild, stormy Blue Yonder (whatever that is). Haven't seen or heard from him since.
Part of me misses him. I also understand that he's not really equipped to be a wild bird in Oklahoma. It gets too hot, the food that he knows about doesn't grow here year round. etc. etc. I know I should have prevented his impromptu escape. He doesn't know to be afraid of cats (although Teddy is pretty much afraid of everything). And besides all of that, I miss him like crazy.
But another part of me is happy for him - maybe even a little jealous. I want to fly away like that! I want to soar through the treetops and play with the other birds. I want to leave a lot of crap behind and never look back. I can't help feeling a little proud of him for leaving the confines of his cage inside my house and embracing the wide, wonderful world.
I've had a bird before, but not like this one. I wanted to be a caretaker and enjoy him. But I never wanted to be a warden. I guess Teddy didn't want to be in a jail either.
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
Rethinking IT
"My Loss Is My Gain."
My IT guy flaked out last week. I think he got his feelings hurt. He decided I lost confidence in him (the IT way to say that I didn't use his services enough?), and he thought our company would be better served by looking elsewhere for IT support. Well, whether or not I had previously lost confidence in him, the events of last week guarantee that I can have no confidence at all in him in the future, so he turned out to be right - albeit somewhat prophetic.
Nonetheless, I told a couple of people that I needed a new IT support vendor, and a line formed outside my office door almost immediately. So far, I've talked with two of them in detail. And so far I like exactly two of these vendors better than my previous supplier.
IT stuff changes so fast. And I was rethinking my company's IT needs and requirements anyway. We're changing ISP's, building a new web page, rethinking phone systems and implementing some measure of disaster recovery for anything short of an asteroid hitting the earth. My old IT guy knew this was all on the agenda, but I haven't pulled the trigger yet on most of it.
In 2004, I knew the rules. I knew what best practices were for making backups. I could separate real cost/benefit equations from 'smoke and mirror' software that costs alot and doesn't work - in other words separate the Sizzle from the Steak. In the past few years, my response to my IT demise was to abandon my IT Czar role and focus on other activities. I now realize that was a mistake. I still have to authorize the expense, and I can't do that for something I don't understand.
Put all of this together and one has to feel a bit sorry for whoever I choose to fill my IT gap. These guys won't even be able to check free disk space unless I know how, why and so what.
But I'm looking forward to renewing my former expertise.
Nonetheless, I told a couple of people that I needed a new IT support vendor, and a line formed outside my office door almost immediately. So far, I've talked with two of them in detail. And so far I like exactly two of these vendors better than my previous supplier.
IT stuff changes so fast. And I was rethinking my company's IT needs and requirements anyway. We're changing ISP's, building a new web page, rethinking phone systems and implementing some measure of disaster recovery for anything short of an asteroid hitting the earth. My old IT guy knew this was all on the agenda, but I haven't pulled the trigger yet on most of it.
In 2004, I knew the rules. I knew what best practices were for making backups. I could separate real cost/benefit equations from 'smoke and mirror' software that costs alot and doesn't work - in other words separate the Sizzle from the Steak. In the past few years, my response to my IT demise was to abandon my IT Czar role and focus on other activities. I now realize that was a mistake. I still have to authorize the expense, and I can't do that for something I don't understand.
Put all of this together and one has to feel a bit sorry for whoever I choose to fill my IT gap. These guys won't even be able to check free disk space unless I know how, why and so what.
But I'm looking forward to renewing my former expertise.
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
My 52nd Trip
"By now, I know the way,"
So today begins my 52nd trip around the sun. I feel like I've been here before. It seems like each lap takes less time than the last one.
Hey. Maybe that's what's causing Global Warming. The only way that each rotation could take less time is if A) Time is moving faster (which I doubt), or B) the earth is actually getting closer to the sun.
There's plenty of evidence to support B). Rising sea levels, melting ice caps, earthquakes in Oklahoma - Oh Wait! That's a different man-made environmental disaster.
Could it be that Global Warming is actually nothing more than my birthday present from the universe? Hmmm.
I wonder if I can give it back.
Hey. Maybe that's what's causing Global Warming. The only way that each rotation could take less time is if A) Time is moving faster (which I doubt), or B) the earth is actually getting closer to the sun.
There's plenty of evidence to support B). Rising sea levels, melting ice caps, earthquakes in Oklahoma - Oh Wait! That's a different man-made environmental disaster.
Could it be that Global Warming is actually nothing more than my birthday present from the universe? Hmmm.
I wonder if I can give it back.
Monday, April 27, 2015
OKC Festival Of The Arts (Again!)
"This event costs me money every year, and I love it!"
I found these cute guys hanging around at the Arts Festival last Friday, and brought them home with me.
The artist made them as inspirational pieces. They're called "Achievers", and are an artistic reminder that any goal can be accomplished with effort. Hard work and endurance always pay off in the long run. Sometimes you just have to hang on. Not a bad message.
I saw them and immediately thought, "I want to be skinny and strong like these guys."
I brought them home and immediately realized that they are really 'Delegates'.
Whenever it is time for me to climb the walls, I can delegate that to these guys, and I don't have to.
Too Cool. I've needed these guys for years!
The artist made them as inspirational pieces. They're called "Achievers", and are an artistic reminder that any goal can be accomplished with effort. Hard work and endurance always pay off in the long run. Sometimes you just have to hang on. Not a bad message.
I saw them and immediately thought, "I want to be skinny and strong like these guys."
I brought them home and immediately realized that they are really 'Delegates'.
Whenever it is time for me to climb the walls, I can delegate that to these guys, and I don't have to.
Too Cool. I've needed these guys for years!
Monday, April 20, 2015
20 Years Ago Already
"Remember Those Who Were Killed
Those Who Survived
And Those Who Were Changed Forever."
Sunday was the 20 Year Memorial Ceremony for Oklahoma City bombing of the Federal Building in 1995. It was a good ceremony, with a whole bunch of special guests and well done. There are a lot of articles and information about the bombing, the ceremony and the aftermath out there, and I don't want to write another one.
I want to emphasize how real the stories about that time frame in Oklahoma are. The "Oklahoma Standard" became a phrase used by people everywhere to sum up how Oklahoma responded to the tragedy 20 years ago. It was a real deal. For days, the whole city was 'on call', ready to do anything that could be done to help.
Once, the rescue workers put out a call for repelling equipment, ropes, anchors, etc. The TV stations repeated it, and within one hour they were telling everyone that they had more than they needed, and please stop bringing it. People stood in line for hours to give blood that turned out not to be needed, just to do something. Everyone drove around with their headlights on for days just to make a statement, to do something to participate in the rescue. Hundreds of volunteers camped outside the Red Cross center. There was nothing for them to do, but they waited anyway.
One rescue worker that also worked in the first NYC Trace Center bombing talked about his experiences here and there. He said that in NYC, people were coming around with bottled water that they sold the rescuers for $5 ea. In OKC, there was an abundance of water, food, support, encouragement and thankfulness that was just not there in New York.
Those things make good stories. But I was there, and I know how real, how genuine the outpouring of support was - and how deep and heartfelt. For this, I am proud of Oklahoma.
At the medical software company I worked at, we also had medical offices from several other states pack up and send basic medical supplies. Our customers did this completely on their own. Boxes of stuff started showing up the very next day, with a note of sympathy and support, asking us to make sure they got to the people who needed them.
For a tragedy that on a global scale just wasn't that big of a deal, the response from Oklahomans and Americans in general was really something special.
That's what I remember most from the day and weeks following a terrible incident in Oklahoma City. I hope I never have to see anything like it agian.
Those Who Survived
And Those Who Were Changed Forever."
Sunday was the 20 Year Memorial Ceremony for Oklahoma City bombing of the Federal Building in 1995. It was a good ceremony, with a whole bunch of special guests and well done. There are a lot of articles and information about the bombing, the ceremony and the aftermath out there, and I don't want to write another one.
I want to emphasize how real the stories about that time frame in Oklahoma are. The "Oklahoma Standard" became a phrase used by people everywhere to sum up how Oklahoma responded to the tragedy 20 years ago. It was a real deal. For days, the whole city was 'on call', ready to do anything that could be done to help.
Once, the rescue workers put out a call for repelling equipment, ropes, anchors, etc. The TV stations repeated it, and within one hour they were telling everyone that they had more than they needed, and please stop bringing it. People stood in line for hours to give blood that turned out not to be needed, just to do something. Everyone drove around with their headlights on for days just to make a statement, to do something to participate in the rescue. Hundreds of volunteers camped outside the Red Cross center. There was nothing for them to do, but they waited anyway.
One rescue worker that also worked in the first NYC Trace Center bombing talked about his experiences here and there. He said that in NYC, people were coming around with bottled water that they sold the rescuers for $5 ea. In OKC, there was an abundance of water, food, support, encouragement and thankfulness that was just not there in New York.
Those things make good stories. But I was there, and I know how real, how genuine the outpouring of support was - and how deep and heartfelt. For this, I am proud of Oklahoma.
At the medical software company I worked at, we also had medical offices from several other states pack up and send basic medical supplies. Our customers did this completely on their own. Boxes of stuff started showing up the very next day, with a note of sympathy and support, asking us to make sure they got to the people who needed them.
For a tragedy that on a global scale just wasn't that big of a deal, the response from Oklahomans and Americans in general was really something special.
That's what I remember most from the day and weeks following a terrible incident in Oklahoma City. I hope I never have to see anything like it agian.
Thursday, April 16, 2015
A Darker Side
"God is not mocked."
My last post about the intersection between STUPID (overbearing, aggressive policemen) and STUPID (guys running from and fighting with the stupid policemen) can easily have a darker side. I hate to admit it, but my first reaction to stories like these was instantly the Karma answer that I'm talking about today.
As humans, living within time and space along a thin line that only progresses in one direction at only one speed, we think in linear terms. Cause/Effect is limited to the contents of the various videos going wild on the internet. In that context, the dead guy in Tulsa ran from the Deputy who made a horrible mistake. Two apparent tragedies resulted. The guy running was killed - without being convicted of a crime, afforded due process or given the opportunity to defend himself or reform. The Deputy, by all accounts a pretty good guy with a record of community service and support, is charged with manslaughter, and may (should IMO) go to jail for years.
Both of these outcomes are tragic. Neither should have happened. If either the dead guy or the deputy had exercised anything other than stupidity, both tragedies would have been avoided completely, and nobody would have heard of either person. All kinds of police encounters happen without this level of stupidity every single day. My contention is that the stupid factor kicked in, one guy died, the others life is changed forever. My exhortation is, let's don't be so stupid.
But our linear, time sensitive and limited perspective doesn't see everything.
Maybe the deputy had some karma bills to pay off, and the running criminal just presented the opportunity for "comes around" to collect from "goes around". Maybe the dead guy didn't deserve to die last weekend. But maybe he had a bill to pay too. We all know that there is a justice that supersedes and overrules legal or even moral justice. Faith teaches us that a whole bunch of events in life that seem senseless or cruel do actually make sense in a broader or higher paradigm.
I am not satisfied with that answer in a general sense, or saying that we can't do better as a civilized society. We need a police force with the power and authority to stop crime. And we need to keep our law enforcement officers from becoming terrorists. We need and value civil rights, due process, presumption of innocence and a justice system based on truth. We also need to aggressively and intentionally confront those who undermine the safety and security of society at large.
But in situations that happen, that we can't change or reconcile, sometimes the Karma Cop Out all we have to work with.
So my exhortation today is as it was a few days back. We need to be kind to each other. Karma will do what it does without our help. We don't know what others are going through or have endured in the past. So we need to treat each person with respect, with kindness and dignity. Or Karma may indeed ask us to walk a mile in their shoes.
As humans, living within time and space along a thin line that only progresses in one direction at only one speed, we think in linear terms. Cause/Effect is limited to the contents of the various videos going wild on the internet. In that context, the dead guy in Tulsa ran from the Deputy who made a horrible mistake. Two apparent tragedies resulted. The guy running was killed - without being convicted of a crime, afforded due process or given the opportunity to defend himself or reform. The Deputy, by all accounts a pretty good guy with a record of community service and support, is charged with manslaughter, and may (should IMO) go to jail for years.
Both of these outcomes are tragic. Neither should have happened. If either the dead guy or the deputy had exercised anything other than stupidity, both tragedies would have been avoided completely, and nobody would have heard of either person. All kinds of police encounters happen without this level of stupidity every single day. My contention is that the stupid factor kicked in, one guy died, the others life is changed forever. My exhortation is, let's don't be so stupid.
But our linear, time sensitive and limited perspective doesn't see everything.
Maybe the deputy had some karma bills to pay off, and the running criminal just presented the opportunity for "comes around" to collect from "goes around". Maybe the dead guy didn't deserve to die last weekend. But maybe he had a bill to pay too. We all know that there is a justice that supersedes and overrules legal or even moral justice. Faith teaches us that a whole bunch of events in life that seem senseless or cruel do actually make sense in a broader or higher paradigm.
I am not satisfied with that answer in a general sense, or saying that we can't do better as a civilized society. We need a police force with the power and authority to stop crime. And we need to keep our law enforcement officers from becoming terrorists. We need and value civil rights, due process, presumption of innocence and a justice system based on truth. We also need to aggressively and intentionally confront those who undermine the safety and security of society at large.
But in situations that happen, that we can't change or reconcile, sometimes the Karma Cop Out all we have to work with.
So my exhortation today is as it was a few days back. We need to be kind to each other. Karma will do what it does without our help. We don't know what others are going through or have endured in the past. So we need to treat each person with respect, with kindness and dignity. Or Karma may indeed ask us to walk a mile in their shoes.
Monday, April 13, 2015
When Stupid Meets Stupid
"Stupid comes in every color."
I know that one of the hot topics in the world right now is white police officers killing unarmed black suspects. This is a bad thing. Period. I'm not saying anything to the contrary in this post. It's appalling, wrong, horrible and should be stopped.
But if we're going to stop it, we need to find the actual (not politically and emotionally charged) root of the problem. Is it simple racism? Are all of the white officers involved in these incidents hiding a deep seated hatred for anyone who is black? I gotta doubt it.
In each of the incidents I have been exposed to, there has been another important factor. I wrote a little about it back in the case of Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman. It was also apparent in the most recent incident last weekend in Tulsa when a 73 year old, pseudo cop working as a volunteer with the Sheriff's office used his gun thinking it was his taser and killed a suspect. The elements are there in the NYC choking incident where they guy selling cigarettes was choked to death, in the incident in South Carolina, and Ferguson.
In each episode, both the black victim and the white officer behaved stupidly. My contention is that none of these incidents would have happened if either party - anybody involved in the equation or either side - wasn't stupid.
We have police officers, and they are fallible. We don't recruit policemen from MIT. The uniform, badge and gun do not make them less stupid than they would be otherwise. It does make them meaner, bolder and bigger bullies than they would be otherwise. But that's life, and it's been that way in every culture for thousands of years. Stupidity is amplified by authority, in all facets of government. If a certain policeman is racist, that also adds to the stupidity.
So let's presume (falsely) for a moment that all policemen are stupid, predatory, racist, arrogant, bullies. Why would anyone more intelligent than plant life provoke them? Why did that guy in South Carolina or the guy in Tulsa get out of the car and try to outrun the police? Why did the guy in Ferguson, or the guy in NYC or Trayvon pick a fight? There's only one answer, and it has nothing to do with race. These guys are as stupid as stupid gets. And they paid the ultimate price for being so damn stupid. And it's not fair or right, and the officers should be punished, and none of them deserved to die. But that's life.
The great thing about America is that we have a court system where all of the details get ironed out - removed from the stress and heat of the moment. There is a place to make an argument, take a position and defend oneself from an overly aggressive thug with a badge and gun. It's a courtroom! Our legal system is what separates us from the rest of the world. Police are accountable to the judicial system here. It's not like that everywhere.
What about the murdering cops? Should they be exonerated? Hell No. The 32 year old, five year veteran with 4 kids and a wife who is 8 months pregnant didn't get up that morning intending to shoot and kill a black guy. He intended to go home to his family. Now his life is over. Why? Because he is stupid and behaved stupidly - with a badge and gun. The cop (sort of) in Tulsa was armed with a taser, a handgun and a pepper bullet gun. He got confused about which one he drew. How stupid is that? And who is the stupid guy who let him have all those weapons? He may not be charged with a crime, but will certainly have to cough up everything in the wrongful death suit that is surely coming.
Any of these situations could have happened without the race card. And I'm pretty sure there are stupid black policemen killing unarmed stupid white guys that never make the news. Stupidity is colorblind, chronic and sometimes fatal. I don't think Congress or the Supreme Court of the President can do anything about that. But each of us can. Maybe we should learn not to be stupid.
But if we're going to stop it, we need to find the actual (not politically and emotionally charged) root of the problem. Is it simple racism? Are all of the white officers involved in these incidents hiding a deep seated hatred for anyone who is black? I gotta doubt it.
In each of the incidents I have been exposed to, there has been another important factor. I wrote a little about it back in the case of Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman. It was also apparent in the most recent incident last weekend in Tulsa when a 73 year old, pseudo cop working as a volunteer with the Sheriff's office used his gun thinking it was his taser and killed a suspect. The elements are there in the NYC choking incident where they guy selling cigarettes was choked to death, in the incident in South Carolina, and Ferguson.
In each episode, both the black victim and the white officer behaved stupidly. My contention is that none of these incidents would have happened if either party - anybody involved in the equation or either side - wasn't stupid.
We have police officers, and they are fallible. We don't recruit policemen from MIT. The uniform, badge and gun do not make them less stupid than they would be otherwise. It does make them meaner, bolder and bigger bullies than they would be otherwise. But that's life, and it's been that way in every culture for thousands of years. Stupidity is amplified by authority, in all facets of government. If a certain policeman is racist, that also adds to the stupidity.
So let's presume (falsely) for a moment that all policemen are stupid, predatory, racist, arrogant, bullies. Why would anyone more intelligent than plant life provoke them? Why did that guy in South Carolina or the guy in Tulsa get out of the car and try to outrun the police? Why did the guy in Ferguson, or the guy in NYC or Trayvon pick a fight? There's only one answer, and it has nothing to do with race. These guys are as stupid as stupid gets. And they paid the ultimate price for being so damn stupid. And it's not fair or right, and the officers should be punished, and none of them deserved to die. But that's life.
The great thing about America is that we have a court system where all of the details get ironed out - removed from the stress and heat of the moment. There is a place to make an argument, take a position and defend oneself from an overly aggressive thug with a badge and gun. It's a courtroom! Our legal system is what separates us from the rest of the world. Police are accountable to the judicial system here. It's not like that everywhere.
What about the murdering cops? Should they be exonerated? Hell No. The 32 year old, five year veteran with 4 kids and a wife who is 8 months pregnant didn't get up that morning intending to shoot and kill a black guy. He intended to go home to his family. Now his life is over. Why? Because he is stupid and behaved stupidly - with a badge and gun. The cop (sort of) in Tulsa was armed with a taser, a handgun and a pepper bullet gun. He got confused about which one he drew. How stupid is that? And who is the stupid guy who let him have all those weapons? He may not be charged with a crime, but will certainly have to cough up everything in the wrongful death suit that is surely coming.
Any of these situations could have happened without the race card. And I'm pretty sure there are stupid black policemen killing unarmed stupid white guys that never make the news. Stupidity is colorblind, chronic and sometimes fatal. I don't think Congress or the Supreme Court of the President can do anything about that. But each of us can. Maybe we should learn not to be stupid.
Thursday, April 9, 2015
How To Kill A Killer Chapter 1247 (or so)
"Add Nitrogen to the list of humane ways to kill."
The Oklahoma Legislature sent a bill to the Governor authorizing the use of Nitrogen Gas as a method of execution if the Supreme Court declares the previous humane method to be unconstitutional (or if they can't find the drugs for lethal injection).
I'm not particularly excited about the Death Penalty, nor am I against it. I couldn't help pausing today to consider how many ways governments throughout history have found to execute people. The list is long and gruesome. I think that the way the death penalty is carried out makes no sense.
If the object of Capital Punishment is as a deterrent, or for revenge or justice or some attempt to set right the actions of the condemned, a humane death is not really important. The punishment should match the crime, and the convicted should suffer as much or more than the victim. The deterrent impact would be stronger if the punishment were more painful or grotesque. But that doesn't seem to be what the death penalty is about in the U.S.
So what is it about? Making sure that the criminal never harms anyone else? If that's the case, many more crimes should be punished by death. (And they are in other cultures and throughout history.)
I think that the death penalty really is about revenge, retribution, justice, etc. But we don't want to admit that. We want to pretend that the object is something else - something undefined, but good and right nonetheless. But it's hard to feel sorry for the criminal.
When the jury system was instituted, the concept of an impartial jury was not part of the deal. In 1780, a jury of your peers would have been people from your town that knew you and your family. They would decide your fate not from an impartial legal perspective, but from personal experience with the accused and his background. Then the sentence would be carried out in public for all to see.
I think I'm okay with someone losing his life if he kills somebody else. I just don't want the government to do it. If the government has the right to kill any of us, they can kill all of us if they want to. I think I want to work to make that as hard as possible for vote-seeking politicians and over achieving district attorneys.
Locking people up for the rest of their lives seems like the worst possible answer - for the State and the criminal. Letting them come back into society is not an option. Killing them may indeed be the best of the available bad answers.
Can't we all just get along?
I'm not particularly excited about the Death Penalty, nor am I against it. I couldn't help pausing today to consider how many ways governments throughout history have found to execute people. The list is long and gruesome. I think that the way the death penalty is carried out makes no sense.
If the object of Capital Punishment is as a deterrent, or for revenge or justice or some attempt to set right the actions of the condemned, a humane death is not really important. The punishment should match the crime, and the convicted should suffer as much or more than the victim. The deterrent impact would be stronger if the punishment were more painful or grotesque. But that doesn't seem to be what the death penalty is about in the U.S.
So what is it about? Making sure that the criminal never harms anyone else? If that's the case, many more crimes should be punished by death. (And they are in other cultures and throughout history.)
I think that the death penalty really is about revenge, retribution, justice, etc. But we don't want to admit that. We want to pretend that the object is something else - something undefined, but good and right nonetheless. But it's hard to feel sorry for the criminal.
When the jury system was instituted, the concept of an impartial jury was not part of the deal. In 1780, a jury of your peers would have been people from your town that knew you and your family. They would decide your fate not from an impartial legal perspective, but from personal experience with the accused and his background. Then the sentence would be carried out in public for all to see.
I think I'm okay with someone losing his life if he kills somebody else. I just don't want the government to do it. If the government has the right to kill any of us, they can kill all of us if they want to. I think I want to work to make that as hard as possible for vote-seeking politicians and over achieving district attorneys.
Locking people up for the rest of their lives seems like the worst possible answer - for the State and the criminal. Letting them come back into society is not an option. Killing them may indeed be the best of the available bad answers.
Can't we all just get along?
Monday, April 6, 2015
Sauntering With Awareness
"Men walk with purpose and urgency. Poor men saunter"
In a conversation at Home Depot, someone told me a "secret" about life. People who wander around gawking at stuff on the shelves of stores or craft shows or whatever are almost always poor. Rich people don't saunter. They do stuff intentionally and expediently. They know where they are going. They get there, get done and get out expeditiously and efficiently. Poor people bump around like a Roomba, and every time they bump into something, it costs them money - usually for something they don't need, and didn't want until the Roomba effect kicked in.
Maybe he has a valid point. Sauntering around at places designed from inception to get you to spend money is probably not a financially smart way to do things. I get what he's saying.
But there is a different kind of sauntering. I love to saunter.
But when I saunter, I'm not so much paying attention to the new and improved toothbrush at Target. I'm paying attention to the people.
It's really fun to be in public with the energy and life of others with whom I have nothing to do. But I do it with an awareness that their lives are as deep, as meaningful, as full and as important as my own. Everyone who buys groceries, attends the Arts Festival, goes to a baseball game or whatever, walks around with regrets and hurtful events in their past. They all have dreams, desires, hopes and fears. Each has a unique set of assets - skills, experience, point of view and outlook. Each is full of potential.
I believe that every one of the people I pass at the store is created for a higher purpose than they can know. Each can be more than they could ever imagine. To every one of us is attached a destiny that is as big as the universe itself. Some of them realize it. Others are sauntering around, bumping into stuff and spending money.
So, I guess I'm saying that we should all stop sauntering and begin to embrace all of that for which we are created. Except for me. I love to saunter.
But I really want to say that we all need to be kind to each other. You don't know what that person blocking the green beans has been through, how much they've endured. You don't know what they are capable of becoming or what they can accomplish. But a kind word or gesture can change their whole day. We can't dismiss people because they don't move as fast as we want them to.
And Ooh! I need that pretty bird sculpture. It would look great on my bookshelf in my living room!
Maybe he has a valid point. Sauntering around at places designed from inception to get you to spend money is probably not a financially smart way to do things. I get what he's saying.
But there is a different kind of sauntering. I love to saunter.
But when I saunter, I'm not so much paying attention to the new and improved toothbrush at Target. I'm paying attention to the people.
It's really fun to be in public with the energy and life of others with whom I have nothing to do. But I do it with an awareness that their lives are as deep, as meaningful, as full and as important as my own. Everyone who buys groceries, attends the Arts Festival, goes to a baseball game or whatever, walks around with regrets and hurtful events in their past. They all have dreams, desires, hopes and fears. Each has a unique set of assets - skills, experience, point of view and outlook. Each is full of potential.
I believe that every one of the people I pass at the store is created for a higher purpose than they can know. Each can be more than they could ever imagine. To every one of us is attached a destiny that is as big as the universe itself. Some of them realize it. Others are sauntering around, bumping into stuff and spending money.
So, I guess I'm saying that we should all stop sauntering and begin to embrace all of that for which we are created. Except for me. I love to saunter.
But I really want to say that we all need to be kind to each other. You don't know what that person blocking the green beans has been through, how much they've endured. You don't know what they are capable of becoming or what they can accomplish. But a kind word or gesture can change their whole day. We can't dismiss people because they don't move as fast as we want them to.
And Ooh! I need that pretty bird sculpture. It would look great on my bookshelf in my living room!
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
Sometimes It's Best To Be Subtle
"Just check your calendar, then go back to your grind."
So it's April 1, and the whole office is expecting something over the top from me for April Fools. I wasn't much in the mood. But I found this on the internet, and made one for our bathroom door.
It was very enjoyable to see people come up, listen attentively, ask questions like, "Who brought live chickens?", or "Is this a real deal?" etc. Of course everyone asked me what (implied 'I') was up to. I claimed not to know, but threw out for consideration that since it was April First, something was probably up and that the sign should probably be considered fair warning.
Several of my coworkers were brave enough to cautiously enter the bathroom and do their business. Several others waited until they saw someone else do it.
Of course, there were no live chickens in the bathroom. But making people wary as they get vulnerable and do what they do there was enough for this year all by itself.
So it's April 1, and the whole office is expecting something over the top from me for April Fools. I wasn't much in the mood. But I found this on the internet, and made one for our bathroom door.
It was very enjoyable to see people come up, listen attentively, ask questions like, "Who brought live chickens?", or "Is this a real deal?" etc. Of course everyone asked me what (implied 'I') was up to. I claimed not to know, but threw out for consideration that since it was April First, something was probably up and that the sign should probably be considered fair warning.
Several of my coworkers were brave enough to cautiously enter the bathroom and do their business. Several others waited until they saw someone else do it.
Of course, there were no live chickens in the bathroom. But making people wary as they get vulnerable and do what they do there was enough for this year all by itself.
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Is Global Warming Analogous to The Economic Environment?
"True or False? Global Warming is to the Planet what Debt is to the Economy."
As I understand it, the Scientific point of view about global warming, is that the long term effect of our short term actions will result in the earth becoming inhospitable to life as we know it. This is an obviously oversimplified synopsis, but accurate as I understand what Science is saying.
So I ponder whether or not the following equation is accurate:
Global Warming : The Earth : : Debt : The Global Economy
We are continuing to produce greenhouse gases faster than the ecosystem can process them. We are using fresh water faster than the climate system can replenish ground water. We are depleting forests faster than nature can produce them. We are destroying the ozone layer faster than the atmosphere can replenish it. The life cycle of the planet will be altered by these factors in ways we can only guess at, but seem to be negative - at least for civilized human beings.
Are we doing the same thing to the global economy?
National debt worldwide is beyond the tipping point. Every major country owes more than it can repay. Greece is the first of many. It can't even pay interest payments on its debt. And interest rates are at historic lows. Italy, Spain, Argentina and a whole bunch of countries are on the brink of being where Greece is. (Or did Argentina already default?)
Japan has more national debt than any other country on the planet. Their economy has been in a recession or stagnant for two decades.
The U.S. and Europe are fighting neck and neck to see which currency collapses first and the winner pushes the other over the finish line.
The U.S. is not bankrupt only because the Federal Reserve is doing a whole bunch of 'creative accounting'. And the U.S. alone owes enough money to China to send that economy into the toilet.
Interest rates have to go up sometime. Zero per cent is not sustainable forever. When it does, the debt service equation worldwide changes exponentially, doesn't it?
What's the difference between 1) the debt service equation and rising interest rates, and 2) warmer temperatures and rising sea levels?
What's the difference between using too much ground water and borrowing too much money?
Is there an analogy here? It seems so to me.
So where the hell is Science? We have a 30 year plan to discuss that might mitigate the impact of global warming. Why don't we have one that might mitigate the impact of global financial collapse? It seems like the economic problems are a bigger threat to Science than global warming. Where are the scientists? The research? The dire warnings? The passion? The outrage? The plausible solutions? The arrogant criticism?
C'mon Science. Get to work!
So I ponder whether or not the following equation is accurate:
Global Warming : The Earth : : Debt : The Global Economy
We are continuing to produce greenhouse gases faster than the ecosystem can process them. We are using fresh water faster than the climate system can replenish ground water. We are depleting forests faster than nature can produce them. We are destroying the ozone layer faster than the atmosphere can replenish it. The life cycle of the planet will be altered by these factors in ways we can only guess at, but seem to be negative - at least for civilized human beings.
Are we doing the same thing to the global economy?
National debt worldwide is beyond the tipping point. Every major country owes more than it can repay. Greece is the first of many. It can't even pay interest payments on its debt. And interest rates are at historic lows. Italy, Spain, Argentina and a whole bunch of countries are on the brink of being where Greece is. (Or did Argentina already default?)
Japan has more national debt than any other country on the planet. Their economy has been in a recession or stagnant for two decades.
The U.S. and Europe are fighting neck and neck to see which currency collapses first and the winner pushes the other over the finish line.
The U.S. is not bankrupt only because the Federal Reserve is doing a whole bunch of 'creative accounting'. And the U.S. alone owes enough money to China to send that economy into the toilet.
Interest rates have to go up sometime. Zero per cent is not sustainable forever. When it does, the debt service equation worldwide changes exponentially, doesn't it?
What's the difference between 1) the debt service equation and rising interest rates, and 2) warmer temperatures and rising sea levels?
What's the difference between using too much ground water and borrowing too much money?
Is there an analogy here? It seems so to me.
So where the hell is Science? We have a 30 year plan to discuss that might mitigate the impact of global warming. Why don't we have one that might mitigate the impact of global financial collapse? It seems like the economic problems are a bigger threat to Science than global warming. Where are the scientists? The research? The dire warnings? The passion? The outrage? The plausible solutions? The arrogant criticism?
C'mon Science. Get to work!
Monday, March 30, 2015
Looking Inside
"I'm not talking about being introspective."
Mom had a heart attack a year ago. They also found and fixed an aortic aneurysm.
Mom's mom died of a heart attack. Mom's dad had diabetes, lung cancer, etc. (They died two weeks apart.)
Dad died of lung cancer, COPD, emphysema, etc. So did his dad, and his dad's dad.
Great-Grandma stroked out. Great Grandpa had cancer. Uncle died of heart disease.
So, health problems present themselves in every family. Nobody ever knows about any of it until it's too late.
What do we really look like on the inside? Not in our hearts, but our hearts themselves. Not mentally, but inside the brain? Breast cancer has gone from the #1 cause of death among women to #3 because of the mammogram. And in a few years, it will fall even further. Why? Because we figured out how to look for it.
So there are MRI's, CT scans, x-ray machines, etc that can look at our bodies on the inside. Sometimes they find stuff. But traditionally they are only ordered when symptoms dictate or when something is suspected to be wrong. We have a Disease Management system in the U.S., not a healthcare system. Tests are only performed when symptoms present themselves. With cancer, usually once symptoms are present it's too late for effective treatment. Aggressive treatment kills as many as it saves.
But how often do we have the opportunity to go get a full body CT Scan simply as a screening? Not often. But the technology exists now to do this relatively inexpensively, with relatively nominal radiation exposure and supposedly clear, reliable results.
The technology is called an Electron Beam CT Scan. I had one today. They're a little expensive, but not compared to individual tests for all of the things mentioned above. I'll know the results in a week or so. Of course, I think I will be 'unremarkable'. But it will be fun to know for sure.
Mom had a heart attack a year ago. They also found and fixed an aortic aneurysm.
Mom's mom died of a heart attack. Mom's dad had diabetes, lung cancer, etc. (They died two weeks apart.)
Dad died of lung cancer, COPD, emphysema, etc. So did his dad, and his dad's dad.
Great-Grandma stroked out. Great Grandpa had cancer. Uncle died of heart disease.
So, health problems present themselves in every family. Nobody ever knows about any of it until it's too late.
What do we really look like on the inside? Not in our hearts, but our hearts themselves. Not mentally, but inside the brain? Breast cancer has gone from the #1 cause of death among women to #3 because of the mammogram. And in a few years, it will fall even further. Why? Because we figured out how to look for it.
So there are MRI's, CT scans, x-ray machines, etc that can look at our bodies on the inside. Sometimes they find stuff. But traditionally they are only ordered when symptoms dictate or when something is suspected to be wrong. We have a Disease Management system in the U.S., not a healthcare system. Tests are only performed when symptoms present themselves. With cancer, usually once symptoms are present it's too late for effective treatment. Aggressive treatment kills as many as it saves.
But how often do we have the opportunity to go get a full body CT Scan simply as a screening? Not often. But the technology exists now to do this relatively inexpensively, with relatively nominal radiation exposure and supposedly clear, reliable results.
The technology is called an Electron Beam CT Scan. I had one today. They're a little expensive, but not compared to individual tests for all of the things mentioned above. I'll know the results in a week or so. Of course, I think I will be 'unremarkable'. But it will be fun to know for sure.
Thursday, March 26, 2015
It's Not About Saving The Planet!
"It's About Whether We Can Live On It."
OK, I'm still not going to present myself as a tree-hugging hippie.
I'm entirely skeptical about science - funded with public dollars (taxes) - that needs a crisis so voters and politicians will continue to pay for their work. I was around in the 70's when hair spray and deodorant was killing the ozone layer and we couldn't buy freon for the air conditioners in our cars because 'science' told us we were destroying the planet. (That was all crap.)
Science and Doomsday Preachers both need money, and both groups require the world to be ending to get any. But Data is Data all by itself.
Are we killing the planet? Is global warming the catastrophe Science is claiming it to be? Is fracking (which has increased our energy supply to the point where $2/gallon gas is again a reality) causing earthquakes? If we continue fracking, will earthquakes increase in number and intensity? Is ground water level decreasing as rapidly as Science says? Are weather patterns really changing because I drive a Jeep instead of a Tesla? Is the sky falling?
I don't know, and neither does science. But science promises to tell us if we give it enough money.
Capitalists and greedy oil companies tell us not to worry. Just be happy and buy more stuff.
Common sense tells us the world is changing, but it doesn't know whether that is good or bad.
Ego tells us that whatever happens, we will overcome through ingenuity, effort and adaptation. We'll figure out how to deal with whatever happens - unless it's a great big asteroid in which case only the cockroaches will survive no matter what we do.
Faith tells is that God is in control, and He won't let anything too bad happen.
I don't know what to think. But I think it's in all of our best interests to live a slower, simpler life. Among the benefits thereof, we consume less resources and kill fewer trees. But that's not a sustainable answer for future generations, and doesn't really address the 'health and wellness' of the environment we live in.
I wish someone would figure this out and tell the rest of us. Someone who doesn't need our money to find the answer.
But overall, I think we need to understand that whatever stress us humans put on the global ecosystem, the planet can handle it. It's been here for four billion years, and will be here long after we're all gone. Saving the planet is not the issue. The issue is whether the planet remains a place where we can live, thrive and be happy.
And there is a whole lot more to that issue than just the environment.
I'm entirely skeptical about science - funded with public dollars (taxes) - that needs a crisis so voters and politicians will continue to pay for their work. I was around in the 70's when hair spray and deodorant was killing the ozone layer and we couldn't buy freon for the air conditioners in our cars because 'science' told us we were destroying the planet. (That was all crap.)
Science and Doomsday Preachers both need money, and both groups require the world to be ending to get any. But Data is Data all by itself.
Are we killing the planet? Is global warming the catastrophe Science is claiming it to be? Is fracking (which has increased our energy supply to the point where $2/gallon gas is again a reality) causing earthquakes? If we continue fracking, will earthquakes increase in number and intensity? Is ground water level decreasing as rapidly as Science says? Are weather patterns really changing because I drive a Jeep instead of a Tesla? Is the sky falling?
I don't know, and neither does science. But science promises to tell us if we give it enough money.
Capitalists and greedy oil companies tell us not to worry. Just be happy and buy more stuff.
Common sense tells us the world is changing, but it doesn't know whether that is good or bad.
Ego tells us that whatever happens, we will overcome through ingenuity, effort and adaptation. We'll figure out how to deal with whatever happens - unless it's a great big asteroid in which case only the cockroaches will survive no matter what we do.
Faith tells is that God is in control, and He won't let anything too bad happen.
I don't know what to think. But I think it's in all of our best interests to live a slower, simpler life. Among the benefits thereof, we consume less resources and kill fewer trees. But that's not a sustainable answer for future generations, and doesn't really address the 'health and wellness' of the environment we live in.
I wish someone would figure this out and tell the rest of us. Someone who doesn't need our money to find the answer.
But overall, I think we need to understand that whatever stress us humans put on the global ecosystem, the planet can handle it. It's been here for four billion years, and will be here long after we're all gone. Saving the planet is not the issue. The issue is whether the planet remains a place where we can live, thrive and be happy.
And there is a whole lot more to that issue than just the environment.
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
No More Smoking
"Over Four Months and Counting!"
Probably my most important accomplishment since I last blogged regularly is that I have finally quit smoking! Completely! Forever!
After mostly vaping instead of smoking for exactly two years, I finally smoked my last cigarette last December. I smoked for 27 years, throughout the process of my dad dieing from all of the smoking demons - emphysema, COPD, Lung Cancer ... basically the whole works. And his sister and dad also died of the same things way before their time. I loved my dad, but didn't really wnt to follow in his footsteps. And it was coming. I still can't breathe very well.
Now I'd like to report how much better I feel.
But I can't.
I can say that I made a quality decision, and after many years of trying to kill this dragon I finally did.
I can say that I'm never smoking another cigarette - ever!
I can say that I think this is the right decision 25 years too late.
I can say that we should continue as a society to help people quit.
I can say that the FDA is full of shit when they down talk vaping. But then again, everything McDonald's sells is FDA approved, and we know that will kill us.
I can say that I am glad to have finally won the war with a long term, destructive enemy.
Maybe someday I will be able to say that I feel so much better. But not yet.
After mostly vaping instead of smoking for exactly two years, I finally smoked my last cigarette last December. I smoked for 27 years, throughout the process of my dad dieing from all of the smoking demons - emphysema, COPD, Lung Cancer ... basically the whole works. And his sister and dad also died of the same things way before their time. I loved my dad, but didn't really wnt to follow in his footsteps. And it was coming. I still can't breathe very well.
Now I'd like to report how much better I feel.
But I can't.
I can say that I made a quality decision, and after many years of trying to kill this dragon I finally did.
I can say that I'm never smoking another cigarette - ever!
I can say that I think this is the right decision 25 years too late.
I can say that we should continue as a society to help people quit.
I can say that the FDA is full of shit when they down talk vaping. But then again, everything McDonald's sells is FDA approved, and we know that will kill us.
I can say that I am glad to have finally won the war with a long term, destructive enemy.
Maybe someday I will be able to say that I feel so much better. But not yet.
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
Steve Grand Album Release
"Any Excuse For A Party."
Well, it's been over a year since I updated my blog, and I've been missing it lately. Actually, I've been missing the opportunity to document some of my thoughts more than I've missed the blogging part of this. Anyway, I'm not so sure I have anything to say just now...just a lot that I want to remember for later. And what better place is there to store my thoughts?
And the catalyst for doing so today is the release of an album by Steve Grand called "All American Boy". A Facebook friend posted his video a couple of days after it came out in July, 2013. I did a blog post about it back then because I have never identified so much with a music video in my whole life. I gave the kid some money on Bandcamp, then later on Kickstarter. I had the opportunity to go to a benefit concert he did in Oklahoma City last year, and gave him a hug during the meet and greet that followed.
He's either a really talented artist for a drunk 20 year old or a young man way beyond his years artistically who happened to be a little tipsy for the concert. Anyway, I love his music and I've followed his story on Facebook over the past couple of years. If I had to perform in front of a bunch of gay boyz and looked like him, I'd need a few drinks. Overall, he seems like a very genuine, creative and motivated guy, and it's cool to be proud of him.
The point is that his debut album is out today, and it's really good. So buy it if you read this. Steve Grand. All American Boy.
And the other point is that I intend to start blogging again for no other reason than because I miss it. There's a lot going on in life, in the world and in my head. Gotta start letting some of it out again.
I'm not sure I'll be able to do this every day like I did before, but for now, strap on the feed bag and enjoy - or else click the "Next Blog" link at the top and have a nice life.
And the catalyst for doing so today is the release of an album by Steve Grand called "All American Boy". A Facebook friend posted his video a couple of days after it came out in July, 2013. I did a blog post about it back then because I have never identified so much with a music video in my whole life. I gave the kid some money on Bandcamp, then later on Kickstarter. I had the opportunity to go to a benefit concert he did in Oklahoma City last year, and gave him a hug during the meet and greet that followed.
He's either a really talented artist for a drunk 20 year old or a young man way beyond his years artistically who happened to be a little tipsy for the concert. Anyway, I love his music and I've followed his story on Facebook over the past couple of years. If I had to perform in front of a bunch of gay boyz and looked like him, I'd need a few drinks. Overall, he seems like a very genuine, creative and motivated guy, and it's cool to be proud of him.
The point is that his debut album is out today, and it's really good. So buy it if you read this. Steve Grand. All American Boy.
And the other point is that I intend to start blogging again for no other reason than because I miss it. There's a lot going on in life, in the world and in my head. Gotta start letting some of it out again.
I'm not sure I'll be able to do this every day like I did before, but for now, strap on the feed bag and enjoy - or else click the "Next Blog" link at the top and have a nice life.
Friday, February 7, 2014
Lack Of Interest
"Not really bored, just bored with this."
Well, obviously my blog is suffering at the moment. I've been trying to figure out why, but I don't have any answers.
It's not that life isn't busy. There's a lot going on. Good, fun, exciting stuff.
It's not like I don't have anything to say. I always have something to talk about. But I will say that I don't like my thoughts very much right now, and I'm not particularly enjoying my theme this year. Perhaps if one loses his mind, he should do it privately and not advertise it all over the internet.
It's not like I'm depressed or melancholy. Actually the year has started out with a flurry of activity - and I was already busy. Life is pretty exciting at work as we expand again and at home as I continue to work out, eat right and avoid tobacco. I am engaged and happy, and all's well.
I think it's more like, "I'd rather DO than TALK just now.
Or perhaps I'd rather talk with somebody rather than just talk.
Anyway, for whatever reason or for no reason at all, I'm bored with the blogging thing for now.
Those of you who actually know me, shoot me an email or give me a call. Everybody else, please check back periodically. Boredom doesn't usually last too long.
It's not that life isn't busy. There's a lot going on. Good, fun, exciting stuff.
It's not like I don't have anything to say. I always have something to talk about. But I will say that I don't like my thoughts very much right now, and I'm not particularly enjoying my theme this year. Perhaps if one loses his mind, he should do it privately and not advertise it all over the internet.
It's not like I'm depressed or melancholy. Actually the year has started out with a flurry of activity - and I was already busy. Life is pretty exciting at work as we expand again and at home as I continue to work out, eat right and avoid tobacco. I am engaged and happy, and all's well.
I think it's more like, "I'd rather DO than TALK just now.
Or perhaps I'd rather talk with somebody rather than just talk.
Anyway, for whatever reason or for no reason at all, I'm bored with the blogging thing for now.
Those of you who actually know me, shoot me an email or give me a call. Everybody else, please check back periodically. Boredom doesn't usually last too long.
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Raising The Bar - At Least The Voltage
"Time to get out hte big gun!"
I have now been vaping instead of smoking for over a year. I still smoke a few real cigarettes a day, just because I can't seem to completely quit. But it's time to raise the stakes a little on my vaping.
I've proved the concept long ago. I've gone from two and a half packs a day to 3-6 cigarettes a day. My brother and mom have quit smoking completely. My cousin is starting the vaping journey and I just sent a kit to my long lost brother in California who came to visit last month. He vaped while he was here, and is ready to make the switch. It is a total mystery to me why the politicians and anti smoking coalitions object so strongly to vaping in light of all of the positive things this paradigm has brought to me, my family and thousands of others. But that's a different post.
I've been considering an upgrade for a while. My system works well, and it's easy. But the vaping community has gone over the edge in terms of making this a full time hobby. There is a whole new language around the vaping world - most of which I never want to understand. I just want to quit smoking. My current system isn't very powerful, but usually good enough. But I want to take just one step forward in terms of effectiveness without learning about RBA's, VV, mech mods, volts/amps/resistance graphs, drip tanks, and all of the rest of the crap that the techno-vapers all know inside out.
I finally went shopping for a more powerful, more flexible way to vape, and dug into the jargon as far as I dared. I still wasn't convinced. Fortunately for me, I met a vape nerd at a local store who sold me his backup mod cheap and set it up for me in such a way that it is as easy as the old system, only more robust. And I even saved some money buy buying a working used one instead of a new one.
So I now use a Smoketech Zmax v3. Are you impressed?
Its battery is 2 amps instead of 1.3. It vapes at 7 watts instead of 3.7. It hits a lot harder than my old one, and even a little harder than a cigarette. It weighs as much as a Smith & Wesson 38 Revolver. It has 1,072 other features of which I know nothing. Just like the old one, I just push the button and suck. Perfect!
Maybe now I can get rid of the last few cigarettes each day and finally be free.
I've proved the concept long ago. I've gone from two and a half packs a day to 3-6 cigarettes a day. My brother and mom have quit smoking completely. My cousin is starting the vaping journey and I just sent a kit to my long lost brother in California who came to visit last month. He vaped while he was here, and is ready to make the switch. It is a total mystery to me why the politicians and anti smoking coalitions object so strongly to vaping in light of all of the positive things this paradigm has brought to me, my family and thousands of others. But that's a different post.
I've been considering an upgrade for a while. My system works well, and it's easy. But the vaping community has gone over the edge in terms of making this a full time hobby. There is a whole new language around the vaping world - most of which I never want to understand. I just want to quit smoking. My current system isn't very powerful, but usually good enough. But I want to take just one step forward in terms of effectiveness without learning about RBA's, VV, mech mods, volts/amps/resistance graphs, drip tanks, and all of the rest of the crap that the techno-vapers all know inside out.
I finally went shopping for a more powerful, more flexible way to vape, and dug into the jargon as far as I dared. I still wasn't convinced. Fortunately for me, I met a vape nerd at a local store who sold me his backup mod cheap and set it up for me in such a way that it is as easy as the old system, only more robust. And I even saved some money buy buying a working used one instead of a new one.
So I now use a Smoketech Zmax v3. Are you impressed?
Its battery is 2 amps instead of 1.3. It vapes at 7 watts instead of 3.7. It hits a lot harder than my old one, and even a little harder than a cigarette. It weighs as much as a Smith & Wesson 38 Revolver. It has 1,072 other features of which I know nothing. Just like the old one, I just push the button and suck. Perfect!
Maybe now I can get rid of the last few cigarettes each day and finally be free.
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
My Year To Be Crazy
"I don't think I can accomplish everything on my plate this year and maintain my sanity."
I've been avoiding writing this post for a month, and life is really busy so it's been easy to procrastinate. But here's the deal for 2014.
For years, I've been just a short distance from crazy anyway. I've been compensating the best I can. But the evidence is becoming overwhelming. The only reason I haven't gone there already is because I am afraid of it. Crazy people aren't treated very well in society, and too many of them are homeless or in jail. I'd rather not go there.
But it seems like lately I've been spending more energy fighting it than I have applied to getting life done. That isn't good either. So I've been wondering if this 'crazy' thing is all bad. I'm ready to entertain the possibility that it isn't. Besides, all of the compensating and covering up and self denial is just a smoke screen anyway. It is what it is, whether I admit it or not.
I've watched over the years as others I evaluate as crazy attack life with all of their might, doing things that don't make sense - even to themselves at the time. They somehow make it through, and pretty much succeed. I wonder if I can be like that. I'm pretty sure that over thinking things is just as crazy as under thinking them. Since I am an over thinker, perhaps by under thinking things for a while, I will just equalize into normal - even if it seems crazy to me. But, of course, I just over thought over thinking.
So my contentions on 'my crazy year' are as follows:
Crazy is not synonymous with stupid. I can be crazy and not stupid, reckless or destructive. I just have to trust myself a little more.
Crazy, though outside of my field of vision, is not beyond the reach of faith. God is with me wherever I go - even Crazy!
Crazy just might turn out to be a whole lot of fun.
So, here we go. Let's Go Crazy, and do it well!
For years, I've been just a short distance from crazy anyway. I've been compensating the best I can. But the evidence is becoming overwhelming. The only reason I haven't gone there already is because I am afraid of it. Crazy people aren't treated very well in society, and too many of them are homeless or in jail. I'd rather not go there.
But it seems like lately I've been spending more energy fighting it than I have applied to getting life done. That isn't good either. So I've been wondering if this 'crazy' thing is all bad. I'm ready to entertain the possibility that it isn't. Besides, all of the compensating and covering up and self denial is just a smoke screen anyway. It is what it is, whether I admit it or not.
I've watched over the years as others I evaluate as crazy attack life with all of their might, doing things that don't make sense - even to themselves at the time. They somehow make it through, and pretty much succeed. I wonder if I can be like that. I'm pretty sure that over thinking things is just as crazy as under thinking them. Since I am an over thinker, perhaps by under thinking things for a while, I will just equalize into normal - even if it seems crazy to me. But, of course, I just over thought over thinking.
So my contentions on 'my crazy year' are as follows:
Crazy is not synonymous with stupid. I can be crazy and not stupid, reckless or destructive. I just have to trust myself a little more.
Crazy, though outside of my field of vision, is not beyond the reach of faith. God is with me wherever I go - even Crazy!
Crazy just might turn out to be a whole lot of fun.
So, here we go. Let's Go Crazy, and do it well!
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Seeking God?
"Everybody worships something. To see what a certain man worships, watch how he spends his time."
To be alive is to seek God. The question is, "Which One". We're all seeking something. We can all envision something better than what we see before us. This applies individually, within our circle of influence and also universally, within our field of vision.
For some, god is money, fame, power or safety. For others, god is simply enough food to eat, some education for their children or a place to live that doesn't flood when the rains come. For some, the party this weekend is god. The rest of the stuff they do all week is only to facilitate the fun.
Whatever god is to us, it changes our life. Our god becomes the lens through which we see everything else. For one who seeks money, a promotion means a raise. To the one who seeks power, a promotion means control. To the one who seeks the party, a promotion (and the responsibility, commitment and effort it represents) may actually be a distraction that interferes with god and life.
But most of the gods people seek are pretty empty. If the seeker actually asks the question, "So What?", it becomes obvious that all of the seeking, working, trying, failing and succeeding are pretty shallow. Even if I succeed in my quest to have a lot of money, I can't take it with me when I die, and I have to now spend every waking moment making sure thieves don't steal it.
Most of us play a game in life that we lose, even if we win. For many, the things we seek don't matter, and we spend our lives attaining that which we will lose.
To seek something better: A Life that matters not only now but forever, is to seek God. But how? Where do we look? How can we possibly connect with anything that matters forever, that is bigger than our own lives, that is more significant than our checking account balance and more effective than whatever fad diet I'm trying this year? Seeking God, intentionally and diligently, becomes a quest that changes the way we view and do everything else.
The best answer I have found is the Christian story. In it, I find a God who created everything, who reached out to me so that I could connect to Him, who loves me as a man loves his child or wife, who wants me to know Him and who has a plan not only for me and my life, but also for all of mankind and the universe as a whole.
If someone else is interested in seeking God instead of god, my advice is to read the book of John in the bible. Read it and let it tell its story, without tripping over every pronoun or overthinking every verb. Read John and meet God who loves people and is competent and eager to show us what life is about and how to participate in it the way we were created to do. After reading John, if you want to know more read the whole New Testament - again without overthinking it. Just let it tell its story. Let it say what it says without all of the religious interference or secular skepticism. There is time for all of that later.
Before you know it, you will see life through a different perspective than the gods you have been serving before could ever show you. It's a great trip.
For some, god is money, fame, power or safety. For others, god is simply enough food to eat, some education for their children or a place to live that doesn't flood when the rains come. For some, the party this weekend is god. The rest of the stuff they do all week is only to facilitate the fun.
Whatever god is to us, it changes our life. Our god becomes the lens through which we see everything else. For one who seeks money, a promotion means a raise. To the one who seeks power, a promotion means control. To the one who seeks the party, a promotion (and the responsibility, commitment and effort it represents) may actually be a distraction that interferes with god and life.
But most of the gods people seek are pretty empty. If the seeker actually asks the question, "So What?", it becomes obvious that all of the seeking, working, trying, failing and succeeding are pretty shallow. Even if I succeed in my quest to have a lot of money, I can't take it with me when I die, and I have to now spend every waking moment making sure thieves don't steal it.
Most of us play a game in life that we lose, even if we win. For many, the things we seek don't matter, and we spend our lives attaining that which we will lose.
To seek something better: A Life that matters not only now but forever, is to seek God. But how? Where do we look? How can we possibly connect with anything that matters forever, that is bigger than our own lives, that is more significant than our checking account balance and more effective than whatever fad diet I'm trying this year? Seeking God, intentionally and diligently, becomes a quest that changes the way we view and do everything else.
The best answer I have found is the Christian story. In it, I find a God who created everything, who reached out to me so that I could connect to Him, who loves me as a man loves his child or wife, who wants me to know Him and who has a plan not only for me and my life, but also for all of mankind and the universe as a whole.
If someone else is interested in seeking God instead of god, my advice is to read the book of John in the bible. Read it and let it tell its story, without tripping over every pronoun or overthinking every verb. Read John and meet God who loves people and is competent and eager to show us what life is about and how to participate in it the way we were created to do. After reading John, if you want to know more read the whole New Testament - again without overthinking it. Just let it tell its story. Let it say what it says without all of the religious interference or secular skepticism. There is time for all of that later.
Before you know it, you will see life through a different perspective than the gods you have been serving before could ever show you. It's a great trip.
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Winding Down 2013
"I'm a Solid 'C' Student!"
As 2013 counts down, it's time to reflect on my year of Wellness and Strength. I've actually accomplished more than the numbers indicate, but the numbers aren't that impressive. Some other interesting things happened this year too.
To start with, I turned 50 in April. To celebrate, my bro and I went to Las Vegas for a long weekend. We went to the Elton John Concert and had a blast. In a random bar at a random casino on the Strip, we randomly ran into the ex-wife of a certain foreign exchange student from Belgium that we hosted in 1977. He never left the U.S., but left our family's world in 1985 or so. We hadn't seen or heard from him since.
Running into his ex led to renewed conversations and relationship with my brother that ran away from home, and we're ending 2013 with a visit from him. He came to town yesterday, and we all had dinner. We'll spend the rest of the week with him. It is just not possible to communicate in a blog post how miraculous, awesome and wonderful that is. (But I'm also mad as hell at him for disappearing these 27+ years). I guess on the 1-10 scale, I'm 8.5 mad and about 13 excited. Mostly, I'm overwhelmed.
Back to Wellness and Strength, I started vaping instead of smoking last December. I'm still smoking a little. My Brother quit completely in June and Mom quit November 1. Not only did I impact my own wellness and strength issues by mostly laying down cigarettes, the paradigm expanded to include the last smokers in my family - and they've been more successful at it than I was.
I've lost some weight. And I did it right. I changed my diet lifestyle and started working out. My performance deserves a grade of "C", but at least it's not an "F". There's much more to do, but the ball is rolling, and I fully expect the progress to continue in the months and years to come.
I walked away from the gay world this year, and no longer identify myself with this ethos. Like a candle that burns all the way down to the bottom until it runs out of wick, there was no particular fanfare with my exit from this paradigm. I'm just too old, too out of place and bored with it anyway.
After 30+ years away from it, I bought a trombone and rekindled my love of the music and the instrument I grew up with. And I am enjoying it more than ever. Not only do I get the benefit of playing, I can do it without being good enough or better than someone else. It's been a truly wonderful experience.
And I almost lost mom, who had a heart attack in November. She has had two stents (yes, I learned to spell it correctly!). She is doing well, but will have another procedure in January to fix an Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm that is just as serious as her heart problems, but couldn't be fixed until the heart was stable.
Next year is lining up to be crazy. I think I've been a few baby steps away from crazy for a long time, but in 2014 I think I'm actually going there whether I want to or not. Since the journey has become inevitable, my plan is to put on my Big Boy pants and go there with attitude and enthusiasm, and not fear. Who knows? It might just be fun!
To start with, I turned 50 in April. To celebrate, my bro and I went to Las Vegas for a long weekend. We went to the Elton John Concert and had a blast. In a random bar at a random casino on the Strip, we randomly ran into the ex-wife of a certain foreign exchange student from Belgium that we hosted in 1977. He never left the U.S., but left our family's world in 1985 or so. We hadn't seen or heard from him since.
Running into his ex led to renewed conversations and relationship with my brother that ran away from home, and we're ending 2013 with a visit from him. He came to town yesterday, and we all had dinner. We'll spend the rest of the week with him. It is just not possible to communicate in a blog post how miraculous, awesome and wonderful that is. (But I'm also mad as hell at him for disappearing these 27+ years). I guess on the 1-10 scale, I'm 8.5 mad and about 13 excited. Mostly, I'm overwhelmed.
Back to Wellness and Strength, I started vaping instead of smoking last December. I'm still smoking a little. My Brother quit completely in June and Mom quit November 1. Not only did I impact my own wellness and strength issues by mostly laying down cigarettes, the paradigm expanded to include the last smokers in my family - and they've been more successful at it than I was.
I've lost some weight. And I did it right. I changed my diet lifestyle and started working out. My performance deserves a grade of "C", but at least it's not an "F". There's much more to do, but the ball is rolling, and I fully expect the progress to continue in the months and years to come.
I walked away from the gay world this year, and no longer identify myself with this ethos. Like a candle that burns all the way down to the bottom until it runs out of wick, there was no particular fanfare with my exit from this paradigm. I'm just too old, too out of place and bored with it anyway.
After 30+ years away from it, I bought a trombone and rekindled my love of the music and the instrument I grew up with. And I am enjoying it more than ever. Not only do I get the benefit of playing, I can do it without being good enough or better than someone else. It's been a truly wonderful experience.
And I almost lost mom, who had a heart attack in November. She has had two stents (yes, I learned to spell it correctly!). She is doing well, but will have another procedure in January to fix an Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm that is just as serious as her heart problems, but couldn't be fixed until the heart was stable.
Next year is lining up to be crazy. I think I've been a few baby steps away from crazy for a long time, but in 2014 I think I'm actually going there whether I want to or not. Since the journey has become inevitable, my plan is to put on my Big Boy pants and go there with attitude and enthusiasm, and not fear. Who knows? It might just be fun!
Saturday, December 28, 2013
First New Year's Resolution:
"I may require an intervention."
I have a lot to say about the New Year, and it's coming. But today, I wish to formally announce to the world my first New Year's Resolution for 2014.
I resolve to refrain from purchasing or acquiring through other means any new shoes, boots, sandals, flip flops, slippers or variations thereof."
I am a shoe whore. I admit it. And I'm changing that next year.
Somebody was giving Nephew #4 of Six a hard time Christmas Day because nobody needs 10 pair of shoes. He was explaining why he needed the new pair he just opened so badly. I, always the good uncle, came to the boy's defense by confessing that I probably have forty pair - not including the ones I've shoved aside that don't fit or are so worn out they've been relegated to yard work attire (not that I do any, but 'there's a shoe for that').
And I realize that I have, in typical form for me, way overdone the shoe thing.
So I will recognize I have a problem and deal with it like a man. Does anyone know of a 12 step program for shoe addicts like me? Does each step require a different pair of shoes?
In preparation for my hiatus from shoe acquisitions, I got one pair for Christmas and bought three more pair during after Christmas sales already. But I'm drawing the line, by God.
No More Shoes.
I may cry now...
I resolve to refrain from purchasing or acquiring through other means any new shoes, boots, sandals, flip flops, slippers or variations thereof."
I am a shoe whore. I admit it. And I'm changing that next year.
Somebody was giving Nephew #4 of Six a hard time Christmas Day because nobody needs 10 pair of shoes. He was explaining why he needed the new pair he just opened so badly. I, always the good uncle, came to the boy's defense by confessing that I probably have forty pair - not including the ones I've shoved aside that don't fit or are so worn out they've been relegated to yard work attire (not that I do any, but 'there's a shoe for that').
And I realize that I have, in typical form for me, way overdone the shoe thing.
So I will recognize I have a problem and deal with it like a man. Does anyone know of a 12 step program for shoe addicts like me? Does each step require a different pair of shoes?
In preparation for my hiatus from shoe acquisitions, I got one pair for Christmas and bought three more pair during after Christmas sales already. But I'm drawing the line, by God.
No More Shoes.
I may cry now...
Friday, December 27, 2013
A Christmas Story
"I bet none of us got a Christmas gift like this. It sure is nice to help someone else get one."
Meet the recipient. His legs and feet don't work right. He gets around mostly on his hands and uses the rocks to protect himself from the harsh terrain. He lives in a village near Chirundu, Zambia. The farmer/pastor we support arranged for him to get some help.
He's climbing into his new wheelchair. Our company helped send the chair over, just in time for Christmas.
He doesn't need the rocks anymore.
I'll bet he remembers this Christmas for a long time
I'll bet he remembers this Christmas for a long time
Thursday, December 26, 2013
A Tale Of Two Dinners
"I may not eat anything else this year!"
I had the pleasure of partaking in two Christmas dinners this year. I don't think I've ever done that before. And I am stuffed still.
Mom cooked a rib eye roast, and it was outstanding. The family gathered and ate and opened presents. This is what we pretty much do every year. This year was about average for Christmas at our house. It was great, don't get me wrong. But it wasn't particularly exceptional, if that makes sense.
But this year, before the festivities started with my own family, I had dinner with the friend I went to Costa Rica with earlier this year. We had brisket, and it was delicious. There were seven of us at that dinner. My friend is a lawyer with the State Bar Association. His sister is a Methodist minister. A State Supreme Court judge and his wife were there and a Professor of Philosophy and Religious Studies from a local college joined us too. Finally, there was a genealogy expert as well.
There were several unique things about this particular dinner.
First, I don't think I've ever been to someone else's Christmas dinner.
Second, I was the only idiot at the table.
Third, and this is hard to say, I really liked everyone. This is a group of people I really enjoyed being around - more than my own family. There. I said it.
I'm not sure why. We didn't get involved in any deep discussions. As a matter of fact, dinner conversation was mostly about cooking. The group represents a wide range of economic, social and political persuasions. I know some of their stories, and they (and their families) are as screwed up as mine - or more. I cannot explain why I enjoyed hanging with this group of people so much. But I really did.
I would really like to be in a monthly dinner club with these folks or something.
But it bothers me a little that I had a better time at Christmas dinner with somebody else's friends than I did with my own family.
Mom cooked a rib eye roast, and it was outstanding. The family gathered and ate and opened presents. This is what we pretty much do every year. This year was about average for Christmas at our house. It was great, don't get me wrong. But it wasn't particularly exceptional, if that makes sense.
But this year, before the festivities started with my own family, I had dinner with the friend I went to Costa Rica with earlier this year. We had brisket, and it was delicious. There were seven of us at that dinner. My friend is a lawyer with the State Bar Association. His sister is a Methodist minister. A State Supreme Court judge and his wife were there and a Professor of Philosophy and Religious Studies from a local college joined us too. Finally, there was a genealogy expert as well.
There were several unique things about this particular dinner.
First, I don't think I've ever been to someone else's Christmas dinner.
Second, I was the only idiot at the table.
Third, and this is hard to say, I really liked everyone. This is a group of people I really enjoyed being around - more than my own family. There. I said it.
I'm not sure why. We didn't get involved in any deep discussions. As a matter of fact, dinner conversation was mostly about cooking. The group represents a wide range of economic, social and political persuasions. I know some of their stories, and they (and their families) are as screwed up as mine - or more. I cannot explain why I enjoyed hanging with this group of people so much. But I really did.
I would really like to be in a monthly dinner club with these folks or something.
But it bothers me a little that I had a better time at Christmas dinner with somebody else's friends than I did with my own family.
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