Hey, Where'd My Goat Go?

"My God, they're everywhere. Surely there's a medical cure someplace."

One of the distinct advantages of being gay is not having to put up with overbearing, bitchy women who are totally convinced that they are the center of the universe and have absolute power. How these people ever trap some dumb-ass straight guy into marrying them is beyond me. I used to work with office managers at medical offices, a field where this type of women are specifically concentrated. In the old days, here's how it worked:

The office manager doesn't like something...maybe a feature of the software, maybe the way a support call was handled by one of my guys, maybe the temperature outside or something equally unrelated to what my company did. The issue doesn't matter. Whatever the issue is, it always goes down the same way.

Belligerent office manager calls and gripes her head off. I am given an ultimatum to solve whatever the problem is or else. If I don''t solve it, the next call is from the Doctor himself, who knows nothing about anything except that his office manager is whining. That's the problem he expects to be solved and he doesn't give a damn about the details.

Sometimes, there was an actual problem or issue that I could resolve, in which case all was well. But many times, the issues were not issues within my purview. I cannot correct the temperature outside. I could not make an insurance company pay a healthcare claim when the staff uses incorrect diagnosis codes or got the patient's date of birth wrong. The office manager can bitch until her eyes pop out of her head, and it isn't going to change a thing.

I was sitting through one such ass chewing someplace in Texas, and the doctor was sitting there too. The complaint was so far outside my realm of influence I thought the scene was funny. I wanted to ask the office manager if she needed to clear out some space in her office so she could lay down on the floor and kick and scream. "If I have to endure this tantrum, I at least want to see you turn red."

I never really did learn to handle these situations very well. You can't reason with people like this. You can't solve their problems. You can't really tell them to fuck off (although I ended up doing that a couple of times, and I did learn to avoid them on the marketing end of the company). They are just frustrating people - the downside of an otherwise fairly rewarding industry.

Fortunately, and very much for the record, not all office managers in medical offices are this way, and not all women behave this way. But the ones that do are hopelessly unreasonable and maddeningly frustrating. Usually they are totally incompetent and specifically in medical practices, a lot of them are also stealing their doctors blind.

It has been a very long time since I felt the frustration of dealing with one of this breed. Until Today, that is. I got cross threaded with one of them in the aviation industry in Florida. She sent me an email this morning asking about some bullshit part they returned three weeks ago, and whether I'd written the $500 refund check yet. I didn't get back to her soon enough, so she called, and insisted that I be interrupted during a meeting with our bank.

All I had to say was, "Yes, darling, your refund is being processed as we speak, and I promise it will be mailed Monday or heads will roll. After all, you are the center of the universe, and your refund is infinitely more important than anything else on my desk, and the last thing I want to do is offend you."

Gag me with a fork. Despite my training, which kicked in spontaneously, I just couldn't do it. Especially when we returned a part to them in July, 2010 that they didn't refund, but carried as a credit on their books. What a bitch. I won't say she's the only one in the aviation world, but they are a lot fewer and farther between then then they are in healthcare.

So instead of handling the afore mentioned feminazi bitch with the grace and professionalism I learned in the software business, she got my goat. What can I say?

Here We Go...Again

"God, is it Friday Already?"

This week in particular has been unusually crazy at work, and today will be no exception. September so far has just been a blur. I got up this morning and realized that it's already Friday...again.

And again, I'm way behind the power curve at work. I'm just keeping my head above water with the daily stuff, and haven't even started the end of month process for August. It's time to think about taxes again, the bank wants it's bi-annual list of stuff, we're busy as ever, and I'm not on top of stuff that I should always be on top of. I've even had to do some cash flow management this week, which is a polite way to say that there's not enough money to go around just now. I haven't had to worry about short term cash flow budgeting since 2002.

And again, in a few hours it will be Friday night. As it stands right now, I don't have anything on the agenda for the evening, so it looks like I may have to go hang out in the ghetto for a while.  I haven''t been slumming in months, so I guess a beer or two at the gay bars won't be too bad. Who knows? There may yet be someone else down there wandering around in the dark looking for ... how many times have I thought that?

Again, the summer weather has finally broken, so it's the right time to do some stuff around the house like throw away all of the plants that died this summer in the 63 days of 100+ heat. I'm also doing some work on my fireplace so I can actually enjoy it this year. As fast as time is flying by just now, it will be Christmas by next Thursday, and I've got a lot to do to get ready.

Tomorrow I think I'll go to the State Fair. The Fair is fun by itself, but for some reason it has also been a catalyst for a whole lot of good things in my life. In 1990, my old business partner and I ran into each other at the fair and started the software business I would spend 13 years working with. A few years later the fair was where a new relationship started that would become a cherished friendship. The fair is sometimes a place where new ideas, new plan and new dreams are born for me. It's not that way every year, but I'm due.

 So, here we go...again. Time to kick off another Friday..and if I get really bored, there are a couple of football games tomorrow.

Do Lord, Oh Do Lord

"Oh Do Remember Me. Way Beyond The Blue."

When I was a kid we sang this song a bunch, as all good Christian kids do to this day. I never understood it.

I remember asking a teacher once when I was still pretty young what the song meant. Do I really need to ask God not to forget me? I didn't think he ever forgot anything. And what does 'way beyond the blue' mean?

The answer was something like, "Well, those are just the words to the song." That wasn't really a good enough answer, but you can't argue with the teacher. I didn't know at the time that she didn't have any more of a clue than I did. I sort of thought it had something to do with 'the sweet by and by', which is only related in that neither phrase made any sense to me.

Later on, as I looked at pictures of the blue earth taken from the moon, I decided that 'way beyond the blue' meant outside the confines of this life and the crap that goes on every day down here, beyond the scope of what I see and hear and could think about. 'Way beyond the blue' is God''s world from which he created this one. Then I thought about gloryland (pronounced glow-ree layand), and decided that people who used words like that probably had no idea what I was talking about.

The whole thing was funny to me. Here's a song that everyone knows, but nobody knows what it means.

But it sure is nice as a grown up, at least in my own eyes, to be able to stop the chaos and noise of days like yesterday, sit in the parking lot at McDonald's and sing,

Do Lord, Oh Do Lord, Oh Do Remember Me.
     (Connect with me, join me for just a moment and give me your ear.)
Do Lord, Oh Do Lord, Oh Do Remember Me.
     (Let me see what my day looks like from where you stand.)
Do Lord, Oh Do Lord, Oh Do Remember Me.
     (Show me how small and trivial all of the stuff I'm stressed about really is.)
Way Beyond The Blue.

It even makes lunch at McDonald's a good thing. I shoulda gone to lunch 30 minutes earlier.

I Fired Cox Cable and Switched to AT&T U-Verse...

"...and traded one arrogant company whose junk doesn't work for another one."

Once upon a time not too long ago, I had Cox High Speed Internet and Cable TV.

My 56" JVC TV, my Denon AVR-590 home theater system, my Sony Blue Ray DVD Player and my something or other multi disc CD player all worked and played well together for the two hours each month I actually used the damn things. All was well, and life was good.

Then one day Cox decided to do a firmware update on their Scientific American cable box, and the fun times were gone. My screen flickered to static for a second to two once or twice every few minutes. It was maddening. Cox came out to fix it, but couldn't.

We rewired the Cable box to go around the AV receiver, and the process of switching back and forth between DVD and TV became an exercise in futility. It sort of kind of worked, if you stood on one foot with your eyes closed, completed three revolutions without going over and spit to the north while you changed the configuration around. Even then, I got the flicker to static once every half hour of so.

I begged and pleaded to just change back to the way it was when life was good, but Cox can't do that. Progress only moves forward. Technology only works by accident anyway, right? Always go forward, never go back. (There's a software patch available from Scientific American to fix this problem, but Cox won't distribute it. They think I should take what they give me, and like it.)

Meanwhile, AT&T has asked me at least once a week for a year to give them a shot. I refused. I'm not an AT&T fan. I stood my ground, thinking that the devil I knew was better than the one I didn't know. I resisted staunchly for a long time. Finally one gloomy Saturday in August, I was trying to watch Good Will Hunting on Encore and the signal wouldn't stay connected. My screen went black, then back then flickered.

I'm done.

I grabbed a clothes pin to clamp my nose closed as I drove to the nearest AT&T store and humbly signed up for U-Verse. They finally installed it last week, and sure enough, it doesn't work right either. Hooked it all up, I did, to my AV Receiver, TV, DVD, Ethernet and CD player. No Surround Sound.

Evidently AT&T has decided that 5.1 or 7.1 surround sound through the HDMI output is trivial. "2 Channel Stereo was good enough for Ma Bell and it's good enough for you." Cox, DISH, Direct TV, the Blue Ray player and everyone else on the planet sends surround sound audio through the HDMI cable. What, did AT&T think nobody would notice?

Fortunately, my AVR has two slots for optical audio input, one for the CD player and one for U-Verse. It's the only way to get surround sound from them, evidently. So for $30 at Radio Shack, I was able to compensate for AT&T's incompetence. Life is good again - until AT&T does a firmware update anyway.

I should send them the bill.

"Social Engineering" Ahhh, So That's What It's Called

"Bullshit is a very flammable substance."

My Number 1 of Six nephew has a problem. He can't communicate verbally. Oh, there's nothing wrong with his mouth or brain. He says many words, makes complete sentences and does just the right facial expressions and body language to go with his words. But he doesn't use words to communicate, he uses them to manipulate. He'll say anything to get someone to do what he wants them to do. His words can be true, false or totally off the wall. I can't trust anything he says, so there is no point in him saying anything at all.

My Number 3 of Six is not quite as bad. He doesn't like conflict, and therefore will say whatever you want to hear to avoid it. Again and unfortunately, his words are not reliable. He uses them to defend or protect himself, not to communicate. Most of the time, he might as well not talk too. (He's a lot like me in that he doesn't talk much.)

I know a really pretty guy who uses really pretty words (when he wants to). But his words have no more substance than a horse's fart. The last time I talked to him, his words were so pretty I totally forgot they were just bullshit. I acted like they were real words, effectively compressing the bullshit and setting it aflame. I think both of us were a little embarrassed. I should have known better.

Now, thanks to Kevin Mitnick and his book, Ghost In The Wires, I know there is a name for the scenarios outlined above. It's called "Social Engineering". Mitnick social engineers all kinds of people into doing all kinds of things by using words that transform himself into whatever others can trust enough to do his bidding. Of course, it's all a lie. It's all bullshit. Just a mask he wears to accomplish a task.

Like all bullshit, his words caught fire. He ended up running all over the country from the FBI, and eventually spent time in prison. According to him, he never committed a crime. He never used his social engineering or computer hacking skills to steal money or damage any software. He even got mad when his buddies' words turned out to be untrustworthy. He spent eight months in solitary confinement because a prosecutor social engineered a judge into believing that he could start a nuclear war by whistling into a pay phone.

So, even though his words were bullshit, the outcome of those words was real enough. Such is the fate of all social engineers. Once I know that someone is an adept, competent social engineer, I have no choice but to categorically disregard everything they say.

I'm not a good social engineer, and I'm not very good at figuring out which words are real and which are bullshit from others. As a result, I tend to trust people's words initially, but once I find someone's words are unreliable  I turn them off like a bad TV show.

Since Mitnick is obviously a very proficient social engineer, and proud of it to this day, I found myself unable to finish his book. What's the point? I wouldn't believe him if he said the sky was blue without external confirmation. The more I read the less I enjoyed his book, and I have no idea how much of it is actual and how much is bullshit anyway. I hate reading books that don't say anything.

But it is cool to put a name with a situation I have faced many times in life.

America The Beautiful On September 11

"Thy Rod and Thy Staff, They Comfort Me."

Obviously, the United States of America has its issues. I am concerned for the future as political and corporate corruption, reckless fiscal policies and incompetent or inept government gains power. Our history as a nation is not all that clean either. We've done some things that all of us should be embarrassed by and ashamed of. The same can be said of any nation or ethos.

As I stop, along with basically everyone else in America, to remember the events of September 11, 2001 and honor the memories of those who were killed and those who gave their lives to save others, my thoughts gravitate toward two truths about America and about God that the enemies of each should never lose sight of.

The Rod.

History records events in broad strokes. The World History article about 9/11 that will show up in textbooks 50 years from now will say something like, "Islamic fanatics, through an organization called Al Queda, attacked the United States by destroying the World Trade Center, killing 5,000 innocent people in the process. The United States responded by strategically dismantling two (or maybe three depending on Pakistan's near term fate) countries that harbored and aided Al Queda operatives known as terrorists."

I know that there has been much squabbling and grandstanding about the war on terror, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and US foreign policy overall. I am very proud of our military, and our resolve. Our enemies should be as afraid as we should be proud. Osama bin Laden characterized himself as the man who would inflict judgement on the U.S. As a result, he lived like a rat for 10 years until we finally found him and blew his fucking head off. The next sorry SOB that wants to live that life, please step forward. Seal Team Six will be more than happy to accommodate you.

If there is no God, there is no point to being his enemy. Therefore those who rebel so proudly and openly against God and what he stands for gain nothing by their hostile words and actions toward him. If there is a God, hostility toward him should be tempered by the knowledge that even the hostility exists because of his benevolence.

The preceding three paragraphs represent 10% of my thoughts.

The Staff

The other 90% of my heart and mind today are about the distinctive and unprecedented good that the United States and Americans impute to the rest of the world. How much food did Al Queda send to Japan or Haiti during the natural disasters that did so much damage? The USA, and Americans from every walk of life, contribute more in terms of humanitarian aid, financial help, educational outreaches, medical assistance, etc. to third world, underdeveloped, war torn and disaster ravaged countries than any other nation in the history of man.

Overall, it really is our heart to be a help and a blessing to the rest of the world. Desiring to do good things for hurting people, all kinds of aid organizations from missionary outreaches to secular institutions impact practically every country on the planet. And, though the tactics are not always beyond criticism, the intent is genuine and sincere. I am very proud of this aspect of our society and our people.

Our enemies (be they militant terrorists or corrupt politicians) should understand that their efforts to destroy us are efforts to destroy a powerful force for very good in the world at large. Their efforts and their disdain for all that we are doing and everything we stand for are inappropriate. We are a nation of good hearted people who express that goodness every day in every corner of this planet.

God, and all that he stands for and represents, is good. What do his enemies hope to accomplish by opposing this goodness? What do they offer to replace it with?

I am proud of our nation, even considering all of its faults, and of God, even considering thee erroneous and misguided ways of some who claim to represent him. I am comforted by the rod and staff, the power and the goodness of both. Let the enemies of each be ashamed and confounded, for their efforts are self defeating.

More Than Conquerors

"in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us."

A conqueror overcomes obstacles in life by the sheer power of overwhelming force.
More than a conqueror overcomes obstacles in life by tenaciously refusing to give in to them.

A conqueror attains his goals through destroying anything or anyone who gets in his way.
More than a conqueror attains his goals by building and nurturing them to maturity and fruition.

A conqueror defends his position aggressively, not tolerating any challenge to his authority.
More than a conqueror is secure in his position, and persuades others to have confidence in him.

A conqueror leads through intimidation and demands submission.
More than a conqueror leads through earning respect and seeks loyalty.

A conqueror is shrewd and ruthless.
More than a conqueror is faithful and compassionate.

A conqueror walks all over people and belittles them.
More than a conqueror encourages people and supports them.

A conqueror takes whatever he wants.
More than a conqueror gives all that he has.

A conqueror dispenses justice expeditiously.
More than a conqueror bestows mercy bountifully.

So let us live as more than conquerors overcoming the obstacles of life by refusing to give in to them, building and nurturing our goals and dreams to maturity and fruition secure in who we are and showing others that they can trust us, earning their respect and loyalty through gentle faithfulness and compassion, encouraging and supporting them, giving of ourselves generously and showing mercy whenever it is called for.

Not even Sally Kern can bitch about that.

"Stop The Political Circus And Actually Do Something To Help The Economy"

"Hey, he stole my line!"

I remember Dubya talking for months about the sound economic fundamentals underlying the American economy, clear up until he announced major government intervention and spending to avert economic disaster. I think maybe he is the only one in the nation who didn't see the recession coming before it was simply undeniable.

Then he and President Obama set out on a course to spend a trillion or more dollars propping up the most predatory, sleazy and corrupt industries in America: car manufacturers and financial institutions. They also spent a whole lot of 'stimulus' money on various politicians' pet projects that had very little, if any, investment value from a long term growth point of view.

I saw one of those stimulus projects at the lake. To protect what may have once been an Indian burial ground, the federal government laid some really expensive looking concrete blocks held together by flexible steel cables right down on top of the beach where we swim. This project, or so I was told, was on deck for a long time but wasn't important enough to be funded. Suddenly, the government has a bunch of money to throw around under the umbrella of economic stimulus and the project was completed. IT WAS A TOTAL WASTE OF YOUR MONEY!

So were a zillion other stimulus related projects. These weren't investments. They didn't stimulate anything. They were extravagant expenditures. How does anybody on the planet think that the project at the lake will result in more jobs, economic growth or future productivity?

Who knows whether Presidents Bush and Obama were (are) idiots or just poor decision makers. Neither answer is good, and the people advising and recommending those actions share the same dilemma. Our government didn't handle the recession very well. The 'recovery' has been shallow and jobless. Jobs are what the recovery should have been about from the beginning. It's about the only indicator that matters.

But, better late than never.

Now Obama wants to spend another half a trillion dollars that we don't have addressing jobs, providing incentives for hiring and allowing small business owners to spend money on people instead of taxes. It's about damn time.

Plus, this time he quoted from the Pledge of Allegiance, said "God bless you" and stood in front of the flag. Must be an election year. It looks to me like the circus continues, and so does the recession.

Down Memory Lane

"If the automobile industry had advanced at the same rate as the computer industry, we'd all be driving cars that get 450 mpg, go 150 mph, never need maintenance and cost around $350."

I started my computer career in 1982 working with the International 99/4 Home Computer Users Group providing tech support for people using the Texas Instruments 99/4 and 99/4A. A year later, the IBM PC came out. I remember writing a review of Microsoft Multiplan, the predecessor of Excel for the Users Group magazine.

God. That was eons ago. In my three or so years at that job, I spent hours and hours telling people to turn the volume down on their cassette player that was used to load software programs into the computer. It was actually a cool job. I wrote for the magazine, reviewed software submissions to the the library, learned phone support skills that I still use today and made more money at the time than I ever thought I would be worth.

From there, it was the Shack. Actually the Business Products Division of Tandy Corp, where I did phone support for the Model II et al, with eight inch floppy drives for data and program storage and a real accounting package. I learned all about TRS-DOS, General Ledger accounting, and later MS-DOS and SCO Xenix.

With great nostalgia, I remember the days when a computer gave you a $ or # prompt, you told it what to do, and it did it without question. Not like now when Apple won't even hear of you wanting to watch a video with Flash player or Windows bitching at you whenever you tell it to do something.

All of this came back as I read my second book of the weekend, Ghost In The Wires by Kevin Mitnick. I haven't completely finished the book yet, but I read enough about the DEC PDP-11 and VMS operating systems, Xenix, Novell Netware and other platforms now long gone to realize how damn old I am, that's for sure.

I really enjoyed the review of computer systems and platforms discussed in the book, but I'm not enjoying the other theme of the book, which is something called 'social engineering'. I may never finish this book, but I'm gonna give it another day or so. I'd like to see what happens to Kevin and how he transforms from a computer hacker criminal to a security consultant.

So far, unless you're like me and can identify with some of the older computer and telecommunications architecture, there's no reason to read the book. Just watch the movie Catch Me If You Can. It's actually more interesting and it's basically the same story.

One way or another, I'll address this social engineering concept soon. Maybe between now and then I'll think of some redeeming quality of it.

To Hell And Back

"No, I'm not talking about the weekend at the lake."

Most scholars believe that the first book of the bible ever written was Job. Job is a story of a man who lived a good life, then shit happened and he was in hell, then he came back. For some reason, we're fascinated with these kinds of stories, and have been for a long, long time.

This weekend, I read another one. Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand, is the story of an Olympic champion turned bombardier, shot down, marooned at sea, captured by the Japanese and held as a POW until the end of the war, came home and became an alcoholic, lost about everything and by God's grace made it back. Another example of the trip to hell and back.

My personal favorite is The Shawshank Redemption, mainly because is has so many good quotes in it. There are a zillion and four of these stories out there, and we love each one. For some reason, they inspire us and encourage us in our own hells. They remind us that our lives are overall pretty good by comparison, and we don't really have too much to complain about. They teach us that even the worst obstacles can be overcome with endurance, providence and luck.

Unbroken is particularly good because it is an absolutely true story, not historical fiction. The writer tells the story as a novel, but documents each scene with pictures, statistics, research and commentary. History is always easier to read when presented as a story, and an authentic story that ends well is unbeatable.

There are many WWII stories that end well like this one. But there are many times as many that don't. Japan was especially cruel to POW's and captured civilians, much moreso than Germany or Italy. Many thousands were needlessly and terribly slaughtered. Many POW's that survived the war itself never really made it back from hell. Their lives continued to reflect the abuse after their return. But the stories that get written are the ones with a happy ending, like Job, Andy Dufrense and Louis Zamperini.

A lot of people take that trip to hell - maybe not on the scale of Louis Zamperini, but in the contexts of their lives, it is hell.

Some never come back. They stay there as if they're doomed to it, or they have no place else to go. They resign themselves to it, and somehow it becomes their reality. They learn to be content there, and make the best life they can. What did Red say about the walls?

Some fare even worse. They become part of hell itself. I know one guy that had to crawl through the 500 yards of unimaginable filth but became indistinguishable from the shit.

And some, like Zamperini, make it back. Thank God for Job and all of those whose stories teach, inspire and encourage us. I wish that nobody would ever have to go to hell. But since they do, I'm really glad that some of them make it back to tell us their stories.

I Make Really Good Coffee

"They said these commercials from the 50's were sexist. I make my own like a real man."



Anybody want a cup?

That Was Then, This Is Now

"That which has been, should have been or might have been simply IS not."

Lake Eufaula is a sprawling man made lake in eastern Oklahoma covering 102,000 acres. It has everything one could want in a lake. The interesting thing is that construction on the dam started in 1956 and wasn't complete until 1964 - I was already a year old. In lake years, it's just an itty-bitty baby.

But you can't tell that by looking at it, or by looking at how people enjoy it and profit from it.

I know the history of the lake well enough to know that once the dam was complete, there was a whole lot of rain. The lake filled up much more quickly than anticipated. As a result the demolition of many small towns was never finished. Except for what the water itself has rotted or washed away, the towns, buildings, trees, streets, etc are still down there. It's a little creepy

Once, on one of my trips down there, I asked the lake about the towns, the history and the secrets that were buried under its waters. I remember watching so many people out there having fun on boats, wave runners, etc. I thought of how many ways there are to enjoy the lake, none of which existed in 1940, and I thought about all of the life that was there in 1940 that doesn't exist now.

Before the lake filled up with water, people lived, farmed, fought, laughed, cried, and made love right down there at the bottom of the lake where people today were skiing over. Now that's all gone and something just as wonderful, though very different, has taken its place.

The lake's reaction to my pondering was simple: "That was then, this is now."

Paradigm shifts happen all the time in life. Just last month someone I work with was awakened at 4:30 AM by her husband of thirteen years who said he wanted a divorce. Every now and then, someone wins millions in the lottery and life is suddenly different. Today someone's house burned down somewhere in Kansas. Tomorrow, someone will decide to stop letting alcohol or drugs run and ruin his life.

I understood exactly what the lake was saying. Life, humanity and each one of us is forced and privileged to go through paradigm shifts from time to time. Once such an event occurs, it is counterproductive to think about what was and now is not. There's a lot of wisdom in living 'in the now', letting the past be the past and leaning towards the future.

But it's really hard for us mere mortals to do that.

A Long Weekend and Highs In The 80's?

"Has God been reading my blog?"

Wow. Right on schedule, it's Labor Day Weekend and cooler weather. Today the high is supposed to be 102, then 99 Saturday then - get this - highs in the 80's for the rest of the seven day forecast. We're probably going to Lake Eufaula for the weekend. Some of us are wishy-washy about it, but I'm content just to go read, chill, relax and enjoy. I don't really mind if everyone else stays home. (But that ain't gonna happen.)

I'm in the middle of one good book and have one waiting in the wings. I'm currently reading Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption by Laura Hillenbrand, who also wrote Seabiscuit. It's a really easy read, and I'm enjoying getting lost in it.

Next up is Ghost in the Wires: My Adventures as the World's Most Wanted Hacker by Kevin Mitnick. The previews look good. Supposedly it's a whole lot more than a watered down 'how to hack a computer' book, but tells a much bigger story. I'm looking forward to the read. I'm also looking forward to the jump from WWII to the computer age all at once. 

I need to do some light reading that I don't have to filter or coagulate. At the same time, I hate reading books that don't say anything. There are so many mindless books out there, and other people enjoy them. I'm irritated if I read a book then ask myself why in the world I read it.

Don't worry. I'm not turning my blog into a book review site. Other people write better reviews, and typically  don't make it through most books anyway. I read 60% and scan the rest. I'll let you know if either book provides a good blog topic for me, or if the books stink.

All I really want to do today is point out that instead of blogging for the next few days, I fully intend to be sitting outside in the not to hot weather enjoying a couple of really good books at the lake, thanking God for reading my blog and saying "Yes" to my request.

September's Second Wind

"One cannot exhale all the time. Sometimes you have to take a deep breath."

I'm looking forward to September this year more than normal. I enjoyed August more than I usually do, but I always enjoy September. I think a lot of it has to do with the weather cooling off. It's usually possible to spend some time outside in September, and there's a lot of work to do in my yard - this summer and the preceding winter were very hard on my landscape. I've got a ton of work to do, but not in the 100+ degree heat.

Most people probably associate September with the beginning of College Football Season. I admit that I wear my one and only OU shirt once or twice. I own an OSU shirt and a cowboy hat, but Halloween isn't until October, and I'm ugly enough without the bright orange. (I look good in my boots and hat though.) This season is shaping up to be like Christmas when your brother is in Afghanistan or something. UT isn't in Afghanistan, but they aren't gonna have a football team this year either.

The Oklahoma State Fair starts Sept. 15. I usually love spending time out there every year. The weirdos on the midway and the junk food are worth the trip, and I enjoy going through the exhibit halls too.September and October are usually lake intensive for me too. I haven't spent nearly enough time there this year.

Other than that, I can't think of anything that really happens in September. It always ends up being one of my favorite months. This year, where momentum has been my buzzword all year, August was a chance to regroup, and I'm hoping that September is like a second wind.

The one stated goal of this year is to improve my pathetic social life. I've made some effort, but don't have much to show for it. I made one good friend earlier this year, and now he's been offered a job out of state and will probably move in December. Good for him, boo for me. 

I'm not much inclined to push things right now. I'm more geared to relax and see what life brings my way. 2011 is 2/3 over, and I feel that the agenda for the year isn't anywhere near 2/3 finished.

August Honorable Mentions

"My doctor didn't give me a good excuse to die, and wouldn't prescribe a good recreational drug. What good are doctors again? Dammitt!"

Well, a lot happened in August, and it was a terrific month. But I evaluate it as a month with much motion and little progress. Here are some highlights, followups and some things that didn't make the cut for the journal, but deserve an honorable mention anyway.

First, I guess there are no plans after all for Ernie and Bert. Oh well, TV marriages never work out anyway. Some writer someplace would have Bert cheating with Oscar or some pathetic thing before long.

I did create (in the confines of my own mental heliosphere at least) a world without debt. I wrote about some of it but it made boring reading, even for me. But I thought through the rest and, although I think it is doable and in our best interests, it isn't going to happen. 12% of our economy is based on servicing and managing debt anyway and 2.1 million people would be out of work if I got my way. So, we'll just keep digging that hole deeper and see what happens.

I didn't get around to suggesting that each of us do something to prepare for harder times. We need to learn to garden or at least plant a fruit tree. We need to learn a skill that possibly has no use now, but might in the future. I learned to make my own cigarettes.

Taxes on cigarettes are way to high. The government has decided that I shouldn't smoke, but can't pass a law banning it (damn that constitution anyway), so it's going to choke out cigarettes through taxation. This, of course, means that the smokers have to retaliate. By rolling my own cigarettes, I'm saving $22 per carton. Instead of paying $35 per carton (for the cheap cigarettes, not the real thing), I now pay around $13 for tobacco and supplies to make my own.

My doctor said everything looks normal and healthy. But I need to quit smoking, lose weight, exercise more, eat better, and I fell asleep after that. How come I have to do all of that if everything looks good? And he wouldn't prescribe a good recreational drug either, which is what I wanted. Someone really needs to invent Soma soon.

I started off the month talking about perspective. I needed an attitude change, and I knew it. I needed some 'home time' in my world with my stuff, and I took it. I need the hot weather to subside a little, and it will next month. I feel refreshed, refocused and ready for whatever next month brings.

Life is good.

There's No Place Like Home

"Be it ever so humble."

It's almost time to wrap up August, talk about September, momentum, fall, etc. It seems like I spent June and July reaching outside of myself, my comfort zone and my world into things I know nothing about. It wasn't a total failure, and certainly can't be called successful either.

But I knew a few days before August even started that I needed to spend some time back in my world. I've read a couple of books, written a little, talked to a few friends on my level in life, made friends with my guitar again and basically had a more wonderful month than I can express.

As I've said before, it's OK to go visit the edge of the universe so long as you don't forget where home is. August, in a sound byte, was a month at home.

I have a tendency to want to draw conclusions when I write an end of the month journal entry. "Here's what I learned this month, and here's how my life is different because if it." And those conclusions are almost always wrong because I am a moving target.

If I were to write a conclusion for August, and express how I feel just now, it would be the old song, "be it ever so humble, there's no place like home."

Or I could characterize how I feel by telling the story of the guy who went to Christ and said, "Lord, my cross is too heavy." So the Lord let him choose from all of the other crosses, all lined up row by row in the space of a football field.

The poor guy walked around for hours, trying on different crosses. Bigger ones, smaller ones, lighter ones that were awkward, tiny ones that were heavy beyond measure. After hours and hours of trying them on, he finally found one that fit just right. And, of course, it's exactly the one he started with.

My life has holes in it. I know that more than most people. But I am happy with who I am, who I have become over the years, and I don't want to be anyone else or live their life.

My (probably bogus) conclusions are that it's OK that I don't fit in to the gay world very well, or at church either. I don't mind that I don't give a damn about football or that I don't think really stupid things are funny.

Overall, it's good to be me. I'm happy and having a great time.

The King Of The Forest

Once upon a time the trees of the forest decided to choose a king.

First they said to the olive tree, "Be our king!"
But the olive tree refused, saying, "Should I quit producing the olive oil that blesses both God and people, just to wave back and forth over the trees?"

Then they said to the fig tree, "You be our king!"
But the fig tree also refused, saying,"Should I quit producing my sweet fruit just to wave back and forth over the trees?"

Then they said to the grapevine, "You be our king!"
But the grapevine also refused, saying, "Should I quit producing the wine that cheers both God and people, just to wave back and forth over the trees?"

Then all the trees finally turned to the thornbush and said, "Come, you be our king!"
And the thornbush replied to the trees, "If you truly want to make me your king, come and take shelter in my shade. If not, let fire come out from me and devour all of you.”

Someone we really love becomes a king; Someone we can wrap our lives around, who recognizes and is proud of our achievements and who understands and even compensates for our shortcomings and failures, who comforts us in the evening and encourages us in the morning, and always takes our phone calls and is with us all day, and who, in the intimacy of the bedroom shows us that that we are worshiped more than we worship even our king.

No wonder we want one.

Signs From God?

"There are many more rainbows than there are earthquakes."

I wondered how long it would take for the headline grabbing televangelists and talk show hosts to begin touting the earthquake and now hurricane Irene as signs from God. It's a well documented tradition that goes back a long, long way. Sure enough, there are now some fairly prominent people playing the 'sign from God' card.

Honestly, I don't have too much of a problem with the premise itself. I think God does communicate to us through the events of life, through nature, through events over time and through signs and wonders.

The problem for me is that these guys only interpret bad things as signs from God. And we've had two of he Big Three this week on the east coast of the U.S. Storms, earthquakes and plagues are traditionally considered warning signs that God is angry and if we don't repent, he'll hit that 'SMITE' button on his keyboard, unleashing his wrath on a helpless humanity.

My contention is that it is bogus to see earthquakes, storms and disease as signs from God, but to ignore rainbows, the sunrise or springtime as just part of life. If an earthquake is a sign of God's wrath, then the rainbow must necessarily be a sign of God's faithfulness.

Those who don't believe in God attribute both to irrelevance, with the theology of "Shit Happens". They think it's ridiculous to see God behind the events of life, good or bad.

But those of us who do believe in God should learn to look for the rainbows. There are many more rainbows than there are earthquakes. God's love, hope, faithfulness, glory and providence are constantly being expressed by a universe created to reflect His presence, power and personality at every possible opportunity.

So, let's use the argument that the storm and earthquake are signs from God to read all of the signs from God, and really appreciate the sunrise, fresh fruit, the coming of fall and countless other events that teach us how wonderful He is.

Besides, if God wanted to show off, He'd probably do better than a Cat 2 hurricane or a magnitude 5.8 earthquake.

DADT Repurposed?

"Top Secret sources in the back of my imagination have graciously provided me with the following unused draft of a statement to be presented at the news conference concerning the recent decision to ban audible farting by United States Marines in Afghanistan. The actual story is here."

Good Morning Ladies and Gentlemen.

As you are no doubt aware, the United States Armed Forces has discovered that up to $360 Million in payments to local contractors in Afghanistan was improperly diverted to the Taliban and the insurgents we have been fighting with for almost 10 years. This situation is totally unacceptable to us, as we're sure it is to the American Taxpayer. The U.S. military has taken steps to ensure that this situation does not happen again.

These steps include better verification of the identity of local contractors, improved auditing and tracking of funds dispersed and investigation of the parties involved in such activity in the past. We are committed to stimulating the economy of Afghanistan just like we stimulated the Japanese economy through the "Cash for Clunkers" program two years ago. However, we did not intend, nor will we tolerate, these stimulus dollars to be used against us.

Our intention, in typical American tradition, was to buy the friendship and loyalty of local business leaders. It appears that, at least to some extent, our good intentions have been used to thwart our efforts to bring stability and peace to the Afghan people.

Further information provided by detailed study of the situation has revealed that more than money will be required to purchase the support and loyalty of the Afghan people. Apparently, they are afraid and repulsed at ordinary events that resemble gunfire. We have identified flagellation by certain armed marines as having a negative impact on our efforts to gain the trust and support of the people.

We immediately considered an outright ban on farting by all U.S. service personnel, however, we recognize that as Americans and human beings, we are bestowed with certain unalienable rights, including life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and the occasional passing of gas. We recognize that marines in particular could outgrow their uniforms, gear and even vehicles if the release of gas is forbidden across the board. We abandoned the outright ban on farting altogether.

At the same time, we have a job to do and a mission to accomplish. We cannot allow activities within our purview to interfere with or jeopardize that mission. This places the military leaders in Afghanistan in a very precarious position. And, after much thought and research, we believe we have come up with a tenable solution.

We have elected, effective immediately,  to treat flagellation in the same way that gays in the military were dealt with for so many years in the past. We have resurrected and repurposed DADT. We are now requiring that all U.S. Marines serving in Afghanistan take whatever action is necessary to ensure that nobody else knows when, where or to what extent they participate in the activities of flagellation. We will not ask, and we expect our servicemen and women not to tell.

Officially, we do not recognize the importance or necessity of the subject activity. Furthermore, should our members participate in such activity in a manner that makes others aware of their involvement, disciplinary action will be pursued swiftly and vigorously.

Thank You

Buying A House In A World Without Debt

"If I were the King of the World, I tell you what I'd do."

If I could have my world without debt, a world which could be created simply by all people and nations everywhere forgiving all debt and never allowing it again, there are some questions about how things could possibly work. Debt has become so mainstream, it is in practice the same as cash. Yet it is killing our economy. Read some of my previous posts on the subject for my logic in this area.

The first, most obvious question about how the world would work if debt was never allowed again is, "How could anyone ever buy a house?" Clearly, almost no family in America could rent a house to live in and at the same tine save enough money to pay cash for a house. Most people can't even save up enough for a decent down payment. Now, we borrow money to buy the house and pay it back monthly with interest for 30 years. If we take away the option to borrow money, almost nobody could save $120,000 to buy a nice house.

So let's take a family through buying a $120,000 house in my world. Since a house is such a big investment, and debt is forbidden, we have to have a way to buy some of the house each month. Let's do what we do now with corporations. Let's assign stock, or shares of the house, to the property. Since most people pay for a house monthly over 30 years, let's assign the number of shares to completely own the house to be 12 (payments each year) times 30 (the number of years houses are typically financed for). A house would therefore have 360 shares. If the house is worth (by consensus of the buyer and seller) $120,000, each share would be worth $333.33. (120,000/360).

Someone could buy a house over 30 years by purchasing one share each month for $333.33. Now we have to add insurance, typically $1200/year or $100 per month. And the government needs their tithe, which is typically $1500/year or $125.00 per month. So a house payment so far is $333.33 for a share of the house, plus $100 for insurance plus $125 for taxes equals $568.33, or less than 60% of what the payment would be if it was financed conventionally.

The seller doesn't really get to sell his house for $120,000 in cash, but since he doesn't have to pay a bank loan, he really doesn't need to. If he wants to, he could sell his shares in the house at a discount, and some investor could buy it at half price or something. That would be stupid, but is the seller's prerogative. Also, the seller could negotiate a down payment, or buy in, at the beginning. If the seller wants 20% down, then the buyer has to buy 72 shares of the house up front. If the seller wants to make the transaction more attractive to buyers, he may only ask for 36 shares (10%) up front. Of course the shares purchased up front would come off of the back end, so it really wouldn't take all 30 years to fully own a house. And if a buyer wanted to own a home in 15 years, he could buy 2 shares each month.

From a buyer's point of view, we know that almost nobody pays off a house. Buyers live in it for 5-7 years, pay the principle down a little, let the house appreciate in value, then sell it and buy something bigger (a fundamentally flawed plan that just happened to work while property values were inflated) In my world, since they buyer is actually buying a share of the house, if he decides to move, he can sell his shares, or maybe trade them for fewer shares in a bigger house. Possibilities are endless. And no debt is ever incurred, and not one dime is wasted in interest.

From a seller's perspective, it might be more fun to just sell the house for cash and be done. But without debt, that probably isn't going to happen. So we would have to rethink the strategic, long term goals of owning real estate. But we need to rethink that. We need to create a new world where debt has no role to play.

But my point is that if people can still buy houses in a world without debt, there's a way to do everything else too. And everyone on the planet will be better off.

Rhythm, Meet Bryan

"There's more to playing a drum than banging on it."

Music consists of four basic components: Notes, Scales, Chords and Rhythm. As such, it is analogous to the physical universe. Notes are elements, Scales are compounds, Chords are stars, planets, continents, islands, eagles, mountains, etc. In music, a note, or even each note, in and of itself isn't very important. Music comes entirely from the relationship and energy between notes (therefore making each unimportant note important beyond description and invaluable).

All of the energy in the physical universe comes from the relationship between elements (fission, fusion), compounds (chemical reactions) and bodies (gravity, magnetism). The energy of music comes from the tension or resolution of notes, chords and scales. The analogy is so perfect, it just might be by design. If fact, if the string theory is valid, it may not be music that is analogous to the physical universe. It may be the other way around. The physical universe may consist of nothing more tangible than music.

All of the matter and energy in the universe exist and relate in the context of space and time. Rhythm is the 'space/time' of music.

Not many people will follow the reasoning above, and very few will identify with it intuitively. I met a guy this weekend on a road trip to Dallas that would.

Please meet Bryan. He's the killer cute drummer that showed my a little about the mechanics of playing the drums my nephew brought back from Zambia. He taught and I learned, then we practiced slowly at first, then faster. And as we played, we talked about the spirituality of rhythm and the drum, and the meditative value of it.

We discussed the most basic, tribal nature of the sound of the drum to the most complex structures of rhythm, and getting lost in it, energized by it and being free.

We talked about how he came to Dallas from Idaho to work, but now he just performs and builds drums for people and enjoys life.

Sometimes people who seem free are basically flakes. Sometimes freedom gets confused with just plain old lost and disoriented. Sometimes 'free' is just a euphemism for 'weird'. And some people who think they're free are so deeply entangled in the snares of life they wouldn't know freedom if it kissed them on the mouth.

But Bryan had a countenance about him that I found to be unique and appealing. I very much enjoyed meeting him and talking for a few minutes. It was just another chance encounter with one of God's miracles of the human race, and I am very happy to have had the pleasure of participating in it.

So let me use my blog as an opportunity to wish Bryan the very best in life, and that life would unfold for him for his highest good and deepest joy. God Bless You, my friend. Keep the Rhythm.

What Would A World Without Debt Look Like?

"People had houses, kids and emergencies long before they had credit cards."

Not that it will ever happen without total economic collapse and chaos, but I've been thinking lately about what the world would look like if we somehow managed to slay the dragon called debt. Debt is so entrenched in our culture now, just like cell phones and Internet radio, it would be a very traumatic process to get it out.

And there are situations that need exactly what debt provides, which is a way to have an outcome now and make the investment that generates that outcome later.

For example, without debt (uh-um, financing) instruments, how would anyone be able to buy a car or a house? How would someone receive urgent and expensive medical treatment? What about the couple that finds out a child is coming, with all of the joy, healthcare expense and living adjustments that come with it? How about a college student whose parents are too well off to qualify for financial aid but too poor to foot the college bills?

It seems like there are times when debt is not only necessary, but absolutely advantageous. Thank God we can drive a new car and pay for it monthly. Isn't this a good thing?

Like any drug or substance to which human beings become addicted, debt has certain undeniable advantages. The same could be said of anything to which people are addicted. The addict can always justify his actions, and assign value to whatever self destructive behavior he chooses to engage in. Debt is no different.

So, over the next few days and subject to issues that I find more interesting, more exciting or more plausible, I want to address the standard reasons why debt is important. These are Buying a House, Pregnancy, Medical Emergencies/Illness, Transportation and Education. If I can maintain my interest in it long enough to get through those, there are also business issues like the electric company building new power plants, or investment in new telecommunication infrastructures, etc.

I think there are ways of accomplishing all of these without debt. I want to see if I can outline reasonable plans for doing so that make sense. But whether I can or not, debt needs to be destroyed in our culture just like prejudice, intolerance, child abuse and political corruption. Who knows, this might even be fun.

Road Trip

"I finally got some time with a cute drummer."

After church Sunday, I got a call from my bro. He decided to take the whole family down to Dallas to surprise my niece and take her to dinner. He invited me to tag along. I thought the trip sounded fun, but didn't really want to ride in the back seat of a mini van with the kids for a total of seven hours. Besides I wanted to be back today. So I drove my own car.

And it turned out to be a great day. I had seven hours of quiet road time. I didn't even turn on the radio. The weather wasn't too hot until just north of Dallas, I drove back at night, and it was cool enough to open the sunroof, turn off the AC and get some fresh air.

We had dinner at Gloria's, my favorite place in Dallas. Funny thing about favorite out of town restaurants. Once you have a favorite, it's hard for another place to top it because you always go to your favorite. Anyway, it may not be the best place to eat in Dallas, but it's my favorite, and I really enjoyed it.

The location we went to was at someplace called The Harbor. There are a bunch of restaurants, shops, a cool cigar bar and a bunch of other things I would have liked to explore, but it didn't work out. Maybe I'll go back there someday and poke around by myself.

But there was a huge water fountain for the kids to play in, and they did. Nearby, there were some sidewalk musicians. A group of drummers was playing. So I finally got some time with a cute drummer. He gave me a lesson in playing the African drums like my nephew brought back from Zambia. Turns out, he's a pretty cool guy all around. I'll write more about him when I get his pic from my sister in law.

The drive back was just wonderful. At night, cool, quiet, no traffic and uneventful. It's hard to believe that I used to live like this, driving all night, working all day, etc. It's been a while since I spent that much time in a car in one day, but I did fine.

The world has developed two things in particular since my driving days that really make a hell of a difference. The first is a GPS. Man, my life would have been so much better with one of those back in the day. That sucker worked perfectly, got me where I was going and home with zero stress. The second is Red Bull. I didn't get home until 2:30 AM, and it would have been harder without an energy drink.

You gotta love progress. And nothing tops a spontaneous road trip once in a while.

Debt is Always an Asset

"So what happens if all debt is dissolved, all at once, all over the world?"

There is an important concept we need to understand about debt. To the one in debt, it is a liability. But that liability is someone else's asset. If I owe you a thousand dollars, for me that's a liability. For you, that thousand dollars is an asset.

The opposite is also true. If I have a thousand dollars in the bank, to me that's an asset. To the bank, it is a liability. In effect, the bank is in debt to me for a thousand dollars. (Off the subject, it is strange that if I borrow from the bank they charge 10% or more to loan me money. If I loan money to the bank, they charge me monthly service charges and fees. Hmmm.)

So, if I file bankruptcy, default on debt, die without paying it back or for any other reason cannot repay my debt, the asset that someone else owns becomes worthless.

Remember that the definition of a recession is that all assets lose value. What if only one asset, namely debt, looses its value. All of a sudden, nobody owes anybody any money. The liability that is dragging our economy into recession, for individuals and governments alike, is suddenly and arbitrarily erased across the board.

Who would lose? China. And they would be mad as hell, but what can they do? They still need to sell us stuff to keep up their income stream. If they get too mad, they would lose both the asset and the income. They would hate it (and I would too if I were them), but remember the medicine that tastes bad? It will be good for everyone in the end - even China.

What about the banks? They would lose, but not too much. They don't loan their own money, they don't even loan their customers' money. They loan borrowed money. They make their money on the spread between their cost to borrow money vs. their revenue from loaning it out. If all debt is erased, their asset is worthless, but so is their liability.

And where do banks borrow money? From the government, specifically from the Federal Reserve. So the government loses its debt asset. But it also looses its debt liability. The government wins there, hands down. So does the American (European, Japanese, etc.) taxpayer.

Debt is such an entrenched part of our culture that everyone borrows from everyone, and everyone owes everyone. If we stop the game, nobody wins. But nobody really loses either. And we would have to commit, as part of the deal, to never playing that game again.

There you have it. The solution to all of the economic woes of our generation. Forgive all debt for all people everywhere, and never allow debt to happen again. It's coming anyway. The U.S. government can't pay its debt on a long term basis and handle current expenses. Neither can the average American. If we allow evolution to accomplish this simple plan, a whole lot of people get eaten by the process. If we do it on purpose, across the board, all at once, it will be much easier.

And then we can live again as a free people. Hell, we might even be able to afford healthcare.

Is A Recession Good Medicine?

"Talk about your miracles, Talk about your faith
My dad he could make things grow out of Indiana clay
Mom could make a gourmet meal out of just cornbread and beans
And they worked to give faith hands and feet and somehow gave it wings."

First, I am not one of those who thinks the sky is falling economically, or that life as we know it is eminently coming to an end. As signs of recession come back into play and the government is pretty much out of play this time because of its own debt situation, I think there are some really good potential outcomes to all of this.

One of those outcomes is a simpler, less stressful, more sincere lifestyle. I think most of us inherently know that the path we're on, as a nation as well as individually for most of us, is unsustainable. Speaking in generalities, most Americans work harder to make more money so they can borrow more so they can have more. Those who can't borrow are really at a disadvantage, to the point of being marginalized in today's society. Hell, you can't even get a decent job without a respectable FICO score.

I don't think the sky is falling, but I do think some adjustments are coming and are warranted. It's like medicine that tastes bad, but is good for us. We're not going to take it voluntarily, so it's going to hurt more than it needs to. But in the end, the medicine will do it's job and life will be better.

Debt is to the economy what booze is to the alcoholic.

We're addicted to debt. We've got so much of it we'll never be able to pay it back. It will kill our economy. The addiction has to be broken, and prevented from here on. And it is in our best interests to break this addiction across the board, from governments to individuals.We'll be better off when it's done.

I've been pretty deep in debt for the past 25 years. Each decision I made to incur more debt was appropriate at the time, and made good sense. But the result is bad. I'm not alone. In fact, I'm better off than most people. I'm better off than our government because I can service my debt without making up money that doesn't really exist, and my budget is balanced. But I'm 15 or 20 years from being out of debt if things stay the way they are now, assuming that I don't face any really big necessary but unexpected expenses.

I can't help but think that the house of cards needs to fall down, and the it will eventually be a good thing.

But there is a huge downside that has to be addressed first.

Aw, Man, Not Another Recession

"Anybody see $3 Trillion laying around?"

Well, I started to write about money and the market yesterday, but chose something I'm more interested in instead. Had I written about the market yesterday, the post would have been about not trusting the rally of the past few days.

Sure enough, the market dropped a bunch yesterday...again. It closed under 11,000. For those having trouble with the practical application of the market swings, look at it this way. Folks who had $125,000 in a retirement account around the beginning of August on average only have around $111,000 right now. Translating the point drop to dollars, in really round numbers, 500 points is $1 Trillion. So the 1500 point drop in the Dow represents around $3 Trillion that has simply evaporated since August 1.

The markets are pretty strongly predicting another recession. During the last recession, the Dow briefly dropped as low as 8,000. It climbed back to 12,500 mostly in hope, not data. The market hoped that throwing a trillion dollars at the recession would have some impact. The market hoped that unemployment would ease, people would start buying houses again, income tax revenues would rise (because people made more money, not because tax rates increase), Europe would experience similar results and energy prices would be more reasonable.

Instead the market got a bunch of currency manipulation by China, the U.S. Treasury buying back its own debt with made up money, a pretty ineffective stimulus package (unless you're a big bank or car company), absolutely no good news from Europe, a credit downgrade for the U.S. and now a recession warning from another well respected economic fortune teller.

The markets are expecting rough waters ahead as the hope becomes more like wishful thinking. It is pricing equities accordingly. But there are two things the markets can't factor in because they haven't been seen before and nobody knows what their impact will be.

The first is the inability of governments to repay its debt. We skirted around this issue on a federal level for now, but several European countries, a few individual states and a whole big bunch of municipalities haven't been able to. For the markets, this is scary.

Second, if we do enter another recession, the government is just not in a position to throw another trillion or few dollars at it this time. Additional debt is as harmful as the recession at this point. The markets know that the government can't buy its way out of another recession, but can't possibly know what the actual impact of that situation will be.

So What? What's the take-home here, except to be all negative and depressed about the economy?

I think that's what I want to focus on for a while in my thoughts and therefore in my journal. I think there are some things we can do to prepare for and at least survive, if not prosper, should fears of a recession that the government can't fight come to fruition.

"From" and "To"

"The sheep will know the Master's voice."

I am not a good evangelist. I am a strong Christian, and believe emphatically in the Christian story and worldview. But I don't think the tactics I've seen in protestant evangelical churches all of my life are particularly effective or valuable.

Sure, if you scare the crap out of a bunch of kids by telling them how terrible hell will be and that they are gonna go there if they don't say the magic words and do what you tell them to, you're gonna get a few that submit.

In generations past, many were bullied into Christianity because of the political or military power of the Church. But I question whether any of those 'blessed converts' actually benefited from that experience, or were changed in any positive way.

The fancy words and car salesman promises of today's mega-churches are just about as bad. They get attention, and people flock to the message (and give lots of money). But are they really changed? Or are they just being manipulated in the same way that they are manipulated by politicians, marketing campaigns and a biased news media?

So, for the consideration and contemplation of those who are evangelists, I have a thought to share:

Evangelism by definition is leading people to Christ. My contention is that the difference between the manipulative types of evangelism referenced above and genuine, life changing evangelism is that the real thing understands the concept of leading people to Christ from wherever they are in life.

Manipulative evangelism doesn't really care. It just needs to achieve a certain outcome; A conversion, a donation, etc.

Genuine evangelism is more concerned with where someone is in life today, sharing how Christ can make a difference in their circumstances now, and introducing them to His life changing power in a way that is relevant, effective and tangible. If God is involved in the event, people will perceive it and God will do His own magic. It may never make headlines, or be counted in the Sunday School report, but a new creation will take place, and a life will be changed forever.

A couple of days ago, I read a few posts on a blog that asserted that God has been replaced in our churches by Tolerance. That Tolerance is our new God. Shaking my head, I read one opinion that dogmatic intolerance and non-negotiable, take-it-or-leave-it proclamation of the traditional gospel is the only way the church in America will survive.

I think just the opposite is true. Until the Church is willing to come down from the pulpit, embrace people where they are in life without dissecting and judging them to death, and show them how Christ can make a difference in their lives, I think that Church will become less and less relevant.

I wish I was better at doing that. I wish my efforts in that area had been more effective in the past.

If I could figure out how to do that right, I'd probably be a pretty good evangelist.

The Fallacy of the Dissected Cat

"Is it really possible to overthink things?"

We have a couple of new kitty cats running around the office thanks to my bro and family taking a few days away. For a time yesterday, we sat around enjoying their first encounter with a box full of styrofoam peanuts used for packing things. They played for the longest time. It was cool.

It reminded me of the story of a college biology class that dissected a cat as a class project. The class learned about the organs, muscles, systems, bone structure and a hundred other things about cats. By extension, they learned about human anatomy and about how things work.

They studied the cat from the inside out, and learned the names and functions of all kinds of things. They began to understand the relationship between the different parts and systems of the body. Although the subject was a cat, the object was everybody, animal and human. It is a great journey into scientific and biologic truth and knowledge. The result is a deeper, more solid understanding of how life works.

To this point, it is a very educational and productive experience for everyone except the poor cat. But the fallacy occurs right at the end when the professor closes out the last lecture by saying, 

"And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a cat."

The fallacy is that a cat is not a collection of bones, tissues and organs that the class learned about. These things do not make a cat. We will never understand cats by looking at them from this perspective.

If we want to know what a cat is, we need to observe one stretching and basking in the morning sun, or playing with a yarn ball, or chasing a mouse, or defending itself against an overbearing, obnoxious dog, or obsessively cleaning itself. The essence of a cat is not learnable through dissection, but only through observation, just as the essence of words are not found in their denotation, but in their connotation.

We spend so much time criticizing, judging and dissecting each other you'd think we were all college professors teaching biology classes and dissecting cats. And we spend entirely too much time dissecting ourselves.

We need to live. We need to let each other live. We need to observe and enjoy the quirky characteristics of people around us without dissecting them. We need to understand that God is not dissecting us, but instead he encourages us to see him in every situation, in every person and in every cat.

I'm not trying to devalue science, education, criticism, study or any such thing. I just think that sometimes we (I) overthink things to the point that we (um...I again) miss the whole point. I don't think I want to do that anymore.

I Think I Need A Good Recreational Drug

"They say life's turning points include graduating high school, getting married, having your first child and your first hit of LSD."

Today I'm going in for my yearly physical. My last yearly physical was in 2004, so I guess it's about time. Since 'Butt Ugly' is not really a medical condition, and STD's only occur in patients having 'S', I can't really think of any particular reason that I'm going just now or what I'm supposed to tell the Dr when he wants to know what's wrong with me. But I am getting older, and surely if he looks close enough, he'll find something.

I'm sure I'll sit through yet another passionate chewing out about the dire consequences of smoking. And I'll try not to point out that it's only slightly less healthy to smoke than to be hooked on all those antidepressants these guys pass out like candy to everyone else on the planet (so long as one has insurance). Dr's don't like to hear that, even though they know the premise is not invalid.

I'm sure my cholesterol is too high. Isn't everyone's? I think high cholesterol and stinky feet are two traits that almost everybody shares. My blood pressure isn't too high, and shouldn't be a problem so long as I don't spend too much time around my younger niece and nephews - and customers pay their bills on time at work.

I'm not obese, just too fat. The solution to that problem is 'move more, eat less', and I'm gonna start doing that first thing day after tomorrow.  Except for the additional motion required and the absence of so many calories, I shouldn't have too much trouble with it.

What I'd really like to have is what most other people get from a few drinks. I want to think stupid things are funny, believe that everyone likes me and know what it's like to be 10 ft tall and bulletproof. Alcohol for the most part just makes me sleepy and gives me a headache. What's my second choice?

Are you allowed to ask your Dr that? I guess I'll find out in a couple of hours.

My First Blog Mulligan

"There's a first time for everything."

Well, I get to start the week by doing something I haven't done before. I'm taking a 'do over' on a thought I tried to write about this weekend, but just didn't say what I wanted to say. So I actually deleted the post. Hopefully nobody read it.

But it's hard. I said something Friday that I absolutely, totally believe, which is that God loves us. He's not looking for an opportunity to 'smite' us. He's looking for an opportunity to connect with us wherever we are in life.

At the same time, I quite possibly implied something I very much don't believe. The danger in Friday's post, and the mindset that God loves me just the way I am, is that I don't have to change.

So I tried to explain how God could love us just as we are, but expect us to change and become something we are not. I know, it sounds mutually exclusive. Either he loves us the way we are, and we shouldn't need to change. Or he loves what we can be and is willing to help us get there, but he doesn't really love who we are now.

Hmmm. I suppose I should leave complicated issues like this to theologians and people smarter than I am. (But, of course, I won't.)

So I promise to regroup and take another whack at it someday soon.

In the mean time, I found yet another benefit to blogging, which is the "Delete" option on the "Edit Posts" tab. I wish it were that simple in real life. There are several mulligans I wish I could take.