The "SMITE" Button

"There is no such button on God's keyboard."

I saw this pic on a T-Shirt years ago. I thought it was hilarious then. To some extent, this is the picture of God that used to be presented by evangelistic churches, especially Baptists. If you prayed the magic prayer and felt bad about yourself (and tithe regularly, of course), you were safe.

But if you didn't...POW! You could expect to be smitten at any moment. God is always watching, just waiting for us to screw up, finger on the "SMITE" button. "That'll teach 'em."

And don't worry. If God is a little slow on the smiting end of things, the Church is there to be His messenger, His hands on earth. "God, we've got your back. We'll stand against all evil and all evil people."

I'm so glad the church has overall figured out that this picture of God just isn't the right one. God didn't create us to destroy us. He's not the enemy. As the creator of the universe and the source of our existence, he is ready and anxious to help us understand our destiny in that context and grow into everything he envisioned us to be before he created anything at all.

But somehow, for some strange reason, many people still live as if doom is imminent. Whether it is God punching the 'smite' button or just bad luck, they walk through life as if they are waiting for something really bad to happen. To people with this mindset, even good things can't really be enjoyed because they're "waiting for the other shoe to drop".

That's a hard way to live, and so easy to change. We need to understand that bad things happen now and then, and there's no way around it. But we also need to understand that we are created in a spirit of joy by a loving and competent father who intends good things for us, now in this life and also in the context of eternity.

Life really is good.

Ernie and Bert? (Or Is It Bert and Ernie?)

"Awwww, I wanna marry Ernie."

I heard that these guys are getting married soon. I guess it's appropriate, considering how long they've been together. But I want to marry Ernie.
After all, he knows all of his colors, and can count to 20 in English and Spanish (that's better than two of the last three guys I've gone out with). And he's got the cutest ears! Don't ya just know he's a good cuddler? There's just no malice in the guy at all. Where, oh where, do I find one of those?

And what about Bert? What's he got that I don't have anyway? He's got a grating, obnoxious voice, a bad attitude most of the time and Oh, That Hair! I just don't get what Ernie sees in him anyway.

Well, if Bert can land Ernie, surely I can find someone. The whole thing gives me hope. Ernie and Bert are made for each other like peanut butter and jelly. I wish them all the best.

The Theory of Deliborate Significance

"I'd rather not be insignificant unless I have to."

In pondering Stephen Hawking's presentation of his conclusions regarding the creation and existence of the universe, a position which I called "The Theory of Random Insignificance", I began to ponder the following question: "In what way would the universe be different if it were created on purpose, for a purpose, by a deliberate act of an all-powerful God?"

For example, would the laws of nature not be fixed? Would the earth have a more prominent place in a more distinguished galaxy? Would we expect the galaxies to line up in formation like a marching band in a parade?

Would a sunset be more beautiful, or good food taste better? Would mountains be more majestic or eagles fly higher?

Would God come and live among us for a time, and show us his way of looking at things and provide some mechanism by which we can relate to him? Would he write a book? A self expression that applies to every culture on the planet and throughout history?

If an eternal God wanted to create an incubator consisting of time, space, matter and energy, in which to cultivate beings who would grow to know him and be like him and eventually leave the incubator and take their place is his paradigm, what would that incubator look like? How would it be different and distinguishable from the random and insignificant universe we live in?

Or is the theory of random insignificance merely one of many interpretations of our universe, rather than a scientific determination as to its nature? Could we not also look at the universe from the perspective of Deliberate Significance?

From that perspective, perhaps every sunset, every eagle, every meal, every mountain, every asteroid, planet, star and galaxy has significance, purpose, destiny and hope. And perhaps every one of us has the invitation, freedom and ability to know God, grow into his image and honor him forever.

Given a choice, I choose that universe. Hey wait. That universe might look just like this one.

The Theory of Random Insignificance

"Now that's randomly insignificant."

Sunday, I caught most of the Curiosity series premiere on the Discovery channel, where Stephen Hawking presents his conclusions about the creation of everything. Personally, I love thinking about the universe as a whole, and am fascinated by the different theories of creation. Not so much the physical aspect of it, but more the intent of it (or lack thereof), the purpose (or lack thereof) and the sheer scope if it.

Christian theologians may balk at this statement, but I have never held the opinion that it was necessary to create a universe 14 billion years ago with 200 billion stars in our own galaxy, countless billions of galaxies more or less like this one and unfathomable distances between them all for 20,000 or so years of human history. God is many things, but the term 'wasteful' has never been used to describe him. I do not believe that humanity is the center of the universe, or that God created the entire universe for our singular benefit.

But all of that is conjecture. Hawking, as a scientist and professor, avoids conjecture and tries to look at the facts to see what story they tell us about our universe and our role in it. And it is his conclusion that, given the facts as we know them, there is no need to invoke God to explain creation, existence or intelligence.

My understanding of his conclusion is that the laws of nature, which are fixed, explain to us a universe created randomly, and that the fixed laws of nature are simply a random part of that equation. Further, in an insignificant part of an insignificant galaxy, orbiting an insignificant star is a place we call earth on which life happened to develop randomly and insignificantly in the context of the universe as a whole. There is no plan, no intent, no destiny, no significance to it at all. It just is. And it is beautiful and wonderful. Making more out of it is unnecessary scientifically, and misleading.

Obviously, I don't believe his conclusion. But I do respect his thought process, and the work he has done, and the insight he has given us into cosmology and physics. I actually think very highly of him, and wouldn't try to argue with him about things he has studied successfully his whole life. I just think he's missing some things here and there.

The whole scenario reminds me of Solomon, and the book of Ecclesiastes. Solomon was the wisest and smartest man to have ever lived in biblical days anyway, and the conclusion he came to, with all of his intelligence and wisdom, is that "All is Vanity." There is no significance. Nothing really matters.

It seems to me that a lot of people come to that conclusion without thinking about it at all. With no wisdom, understanding of the nature of things or intelligence, I could look at the vastness of the starry sky and just know that I, my species, my planet, my perspective, my struggles, my successes, my pleasure and my pain are meaningless, insignificant and irrelevant in that context. You don't have to think about that your whole life to come to that conclusion. In fact, if there's not a better possibility, this one will probably have to do.

But there are better, credible, feasible, possibilities that explain the creation of the universe, humanity and me individually. Possibilities that include intent, destiny and hope. We may not be able to understand these possibilities within the confines of physics. But we can conceptualize the infinite. I know Hawking can do this. He's a math genius, and you can't even do high school calculus without infinity. As infinity is to calculus, so God is to creation and existence.

I get what Hawking is saying. But I am unwilling to settle for that. I think we can do better, both individually and corporately. And because we can, we should. And the world will be a better place because of it.

It's A Three Ring Circus

"The Not So Greatest Show On Earth"

What do you get when you have two houses of congress, a President, an urgent problem that nobody wants to address (and is quite possibly insolvable anyway) and an election cycle just beginning to heat up?

It certainly isn't intelligent, insightful, visionary, forward thinking, balanced leadership. Certainly not a concerted effort to negotiate a course of action that is in the country's best interests. Definitely not a consensus building, solutions oriented, direction setting approach to a genuine threat to the future of the United States as we know it.

Instead you get a show that the Ringling Brothers would be embarrassed to put on.

As predicted, congress and the President did indeed agree on a way to increase the debt limit just in time. But not before a whole bunch of political grandstanding and positioning for the 2012 elections. We knew that was coming, and that the US would continue to be able to service its debts. But our national credit rating took a hit anyway, for the first time since World War One.

Evidently the S&P folks didn't enjoy the circus. They seem to think that the US economy and potential default on our debt should be a little more important than our political leaders (of all flavors) treated it. They seem to be concerned that our President and congress A) don't have a clue what to do about the problem, B) are incapable of working together to find said clue, C) are going to fight like hell to get re-elected to another term of total cluelessness, and D) are pretty likely to be given that opportunity be the American people. I think that scenario probably scares the hell out of them...and me too.

They probably looked at each other with that WTF look and began discussing how far to downgrade our rating. No sin has been committed yet, but political instability and ineptness means increased risk - even for arrogant Americans.

In practical terms, the downgrade isn't too important. US Treasuries are still the gold standard for safe money, and, except for China and India, the whole world in in the same shape we're in where debt is concerned. So the impact of the downgrade is only psychological.

But it is still an indicator - one of many - that indicate how fast and how dramatically the economic climate is changing. I had hoped that our transition to third world country status would not really kick in until after I'm gone. It's not like I'm going to live to be a hundred anyway.

A Strange Combination

"There is a big difference between 'Single Minded' and 'Narrow Minded'."

A large part of my blog, especially at the beginning, was aimed at explaining the oxymoron of being a gay christian. I viewed homosexuality and Christianity as mutually exclusive until I was 40. (The fact that I am both was simply inconvenient.) Then events in my life involving both forced me to do the math, work my way through the conflict between them and resolve the issue once and forever in my own life.

Even still, it is a little strange to spend Thursday evening talking about the impact of Christ - His teaching, His sacrifice, His leadership and calling - on a bunch of orphans half way around the world and then spend Friday night at the gay bar enjoying the bartenders, dancers and contestants in the Mr Gay Oklahoma competition.

As if to emphasize the apparent disparity between these two evenings, I got an email at 12:44 Saturday afternoon from the pastor of my church asking everyone to get the word out about a fundraiser to be held Saturday evening. Let's see, a pastor asking for fundraising help. No news there. The twist is that the fundraiser was last night at one of the local gay bars.

I tried to get a mental picture of any other pastor I've ever had sending an email to the congregation inviting them to participate in an event at the local gay bar. The result was hilarious. I can just see the looks on their faces if they were asked to do such a thing.

My most recent pastor (who thinks a gay christian is indeed an oxymoron, who is a convicted bank robber, who destroyed his church by leaving his wife and running off with the choir director, who despite these things is a pretty good guy and really smart and really understands the grace, providence and love of God) would have cut off his arms before sending that email.

I don't want to be a two-faced, double minded, flake. I know several of these people who are friends when you're looking and laugh at you when you're not.

And I'm Not! I'm the same guy at the bar on Friday night as I am at church on Sunday morning. I love Christ and all that he stands for, and believe in Him as the link between us and the universally right, pure, true and good nature of everything.

I see potential sons of God in every gay guy at the bar, just like I do in every man that stands in church on Sunday morning praising God. The only difference is that I see most of the guys at the bar following a tragic course that leads to someplace besides the knowledge and intimacy with Christ for which the whole universe suffers greatly to facilitate in each of us.

A double minded (two faced) man is unstable in all of his ways. I am a single minded man that happens to enjoy cute drummers, shirtless bartenders and eye candy at the bar now and then. Is that an oxymoron?

Anyway, if you're new to my blog and haven't at least scanned the Christian Math label, please feel free to. Go to the oldest posts and work your way up. At least entertain my thought process. Even if you don't need it yourself, someone else may need to hear it - maybe even a pastor who thinks a gay christian cannot exist.

Kelliente

"History in the making, Mr. Gay Oklahoma 2011."

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, I was present for the election and coronation of Mr. Gay Oklahoma, 2011. I met up with some of his supporters to witness and participate in the festivities. There were some really good performances both by previous Mr. Gay Oklahoma's and by some really good drag personalities. It's amazing that cute guys can make the most beautiful women. But it's still not my thing.

So in the middle of the event, I left for a while and went next door to the Park to see who was out and about. There were two really nice looking dancers, and one of them was on his maiden voyage. Nice.

When I got back, everyone acted like I never left. I did have a little too much to drink, mainly because the bartender was gorgeous and shirtless, and his jeans highlighted his assets that his shirt wouldn't have had he been wearing one.

Since he was a bit of a prick anyway, I didn't mind standing there enjoying him for a minute. I wanted to say, "Dude, you're just pretty. I'm not hitting on you, just admiring. So lose the attitude, and just stand there and be pretty. And get my drink." (What did Agustus McCrea say about surly bartenders?)

Back to the competition, I think the right guy won. He's hot in his way, and will represent the gay world well. He also appears to have a pretty good head on his shoulders. Evidently he speaks Spanish fluently and teaches kids that don't speak any English at all, and tries to help them make the transition to American schools and English lessons. That's actually cool, separate from the gay paradigm.

So, Kelliente, I wish you well during your reign as Mr Gay Oklahoma 2011, and in life overall. I appreciate my friend inviting me to the event, and am glad that I got to see a really cute, good guy win.

Zambia and Baseball

"Now for a little International Flaire."

I spent the evening with Pastor Charles from Zambia. We talked a little about Zambia, the orphanage, the farm, life and politics. Good times. My nephew, who went to Zambia earlier in the year and lives with me now, graciously offered his bed so Charles would have a place to sleep. Charles isn't very comfortable in our beds because they're too soft, so he slept on the floor. My nephew slept on the couch for some reason, and nobody used his bed.

I have had the opportunity to meet and interact with many people from other countries in my life. When I was in fifth grade, our family hosted a Japanese foreign exchange student. After that, we had students from Italy, Belgium, Brazil, Germany, Yugoslavia, Iran and a few others. Most recently, I had two Chinese students live with me for a semester.

I have traveled internationally a little, but not much. Our involvement with the project in Zambia is really important to me. It seems like such a little thing in the scope of the problems Africa faces, but a significant thing in that several villages, about sixty orphans and some refugees from Zimbabwe will have food tonight because of our efforts and influence there.

Whenever I ponder the world as a whole, there are two thoughts that tend to override the rest.

The first is that Americans tend to think that life is really about our cable TV not working right, dropped calls on our iPhone or having to wait too long in line at Wal-Mart. As a people group, we are overall so shallow, spoiled and self centered that we just don't get life sometimes. A week long trip to a third world country and even a casual look beyond the tourist traps should show us how great life here is.

The second thought is how similar all people are all over the world. Life really is about having a role to play in a world that is bigger than we are, about raising a family and teaching children what's right, about love and hope and unity and belonging and acceptance. This is true in our rich, spoiled culture, and in the remote villages of Zambia and everyplace in between.

Charles wants to learn then teach Zambian kids to play baseball, and through that teach teamwork, sportsmanship, correct and instant thinking/decision making, physical fitness and all the rest. But mainly, he wants to give those kids a picture of what it is like to play a position on a team where one's actions impact the whole.

He doesn't want them to feel like the leftovers of society. He wants them to understand that they can contribute to the value and process of life. And because they can, they should. And they should do it with skill and passion.

Wow. I know a bunch of rich, white Americans that could learn that lesson, and the world would be a better place because of it.

All Of These People, And Not One Jerk

"We all live in a yellow submarine."

This week, I have been surrounded by people. Usually this many people across my path in a week stresses me out, especially if I don't get enough time to decompress and be quiet. I start to feel closed in and overwhelmed, just like I'd probably feel if we all lived in a yellow submarine. But this week I'm enjoying everyone.

Last Sunday, cousin and family came to town from Boston. We had a big get together at mom's house with brisket, fried chikin and all the trimmings, with my cousin and her husband, their two kids, my three youngest nephews and niece, my aunt and a few other people. It was a fun afternoon despite the heat.

Monday and Tuesday, someone I work with was in town and we did the dinner and a drink routine. Sushi once and Chang's the next. Did I mention previously how much I enjoyed the Mongolian Beef with Asparagus? Plate licking, finger licking good.

I did get some time off Wednesday.

Today, my friend from Zambia will be in town. He's the farmer, pastor and now orphanage director I've come to know over the past few years. He's a really terrific guy and I'm looking forward to a good conversation with him this evening. I've walked through the villages in his part of Africa, and it's a whole different part of the universe from here. I really admire the guy for what he does and what he stands for.

Friday, I'm going to the other side of the universe and attending the Miss Gay Something or Other pageant in gaytown. I'm looking forward to that too. I was trying to remember if I have ever been down to the gay strip in OKC to meet up with some friends and do something. I thought it was earlier in the week, but it's Friday, which means Friday Night Focus hasn't completely fizzled out.

The point is, well, first I get to brag a little. I never have a full social calander - not even for a week. Second, I really like everyone connected with these social events. That's unusual too. There's not a jerk in the bunch.

Third, it represents momentum about as well as anything else all year. I've tried to reach out in some areas with mediocre results at best. Now the universe is reaching out to me a little, and the results are already better. That sums up momentum, in my mind at least. And I am very thankful.

But I'm probably going to work all weekend. I'm getting behind again.

Facebook and Dinner

"How do I cram this on a Facebook post?"

I think one of the reasons I have a blog is because I detest Facebook. You don't get enough space to say anything intelligent, and nobody would read it anyway. My blog actually provides a way to communicate an entire thought all at once, even if I'm the only one who reads it.

I see other people's Facebook pages, and they have 1800, 2500 or even 4500 friends. Hell, I have 28, and I've ignored half of them because I couldn't care less whether they had macaroni and cheese for dinner last night or how many times they sneezed in the shower. Facebook is to the 2000's what CB Radio was to the 1970's - meaningless chatter.

In that context, I'm about to do something really amazing for me. I'm going to share what I had for dinner last night at PF Chang's. It was by far the best dinner I've ever had there, and I enjoyed it so much I can't hardly think about anything else. (I would sure love to find a guy I felt that way about.)

I'm not a big Chinese food guy. I can handle it about once a month if I'm pushed into it. Left to my own devices, I'd almost never eat it. I've been to Chang's several times, and it's always good. I get Orange Chicken or something safe. I eat about half of it and I get bored with it. I figured it had nothing to do with the restaurant and everything to do with my general apathetic approach to the type of food. (Same with the guys I've dated overall.)

My nephew is now a server at Chang's, and so I and a coworker went there last night to eat and pick on him. I told him I didn't really love the food there and asked him what I should get that I would really like. I almost offered double or nothing on the bill. If I love it, I pay twice. If it's just OK, I eat free. I'm glad I kept my mouth shut.

He brought me out some lettuce wraps that were OK and I ate them. I know everyone else on the planet rants and raves about them like they're the greatest things ever. I thought they were OK. (In all fairness, OK is quite complimentary for me where Chinese food is concerned.)

Then he brought out a big bowl of Shrimp Fried Rice and a plate of Mongolian Beef cooked with Asparagus instead of the usual onions. Man, it was good. I have never cleaned my plate at a Chinese food restaurant ever. Last night I cleaned it, licked it, wrapped my arms around it and ... well, you get the idea.

It was sooo good.

And it was even better because I never saw it coming.

Good is good all by itself. But a good surprise is even better than good. It's fantastic, awesome, wonderful, magnificent, bravo, spectacular, ...

Perspective Makes Everything Different

"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."

Yesterday's post was good preparation for today. Today, it seemed like everyone on the planet was in a bad mood except me. I had a great day. The day wasn't any better or worse than most days, maybe a little busier. But I looked at the day differently than everyone else.

We've all heard the story about the half a glass of water. The pessimist says it's half empty, the optimist says it's half full. But there are a hundred ways to look at the situation.

A mathematician would object to the word 'half'. Half full or half empty are very exact terms. Semi full or semi empty would be a more accurate description

The chemist would focus on the word 'water'. Water is defined as a liquid consisting of molecules containing two atoms of hydrogen and one atom of oxygen. There's probably a whole lot of crap in that glass that isn't water.

The teacher sees room for improvement, the perfectionist sees total failure. The idealist laments that the glass is so small while the philosopher says there is no distinction between the glass and its contents.

The salesman exaggerates the value of the glass and the customer is cynical. The politician looks for an opportunity to levy a tax on both.

The hoarder worries that the water is even now evaporating, and will be gone soon. The generous looks for someone who needs whatever is there.

The negotiator tries to reconcile all of these opinions into a paradigm that everyone can agree with as the director tries to impose his vision on the rest of the group. Both want unity, but on completely different terms.

To the deep thinker, each of these points of view deserves consideration and contemplation. To the shallow, it's just some stupid water. He'd rather have a cold beer.

There is only one point of view that makes a tangible difference, and that is the perspective of one who is thirsty. To him, the water is life, satisfaction, happiness and every good thing in the world. He longs for it and appreciates it. He drinks it with joy and gladness, and it makes his day better.

Maybe we should all be a little more thirsty. I think I'll have a glass of water.

Exhortation of Momentum for August

"It's hard to think about momentum when I'm just trying to survive the summer."

Again, my buzzword all year has been Momentum: "May the momentum continue, and continue to increase." I didn't think much about it last month, but albeit in some directions I didn't anticipate, the momentum did indeed continue in some very noticeable ways. Given a choice in the matter, I would just as soon redirect it back in a more positive direction, but momentum itself isn't concerned with direction...only motion.

And sometimes, the correct answer to some of life's questions is, "No, That's not the right path to take." I've learned over the years that I'm allowed to make mistakes, that most things in this world don't last forever and that one of the biggest advantages to my worldview is that I really can trust the momentum that is very present in my life - even if it doesn't take me exactly where I want to go.

I'm not an athlete by any stretch of the imagination. In fact I'm kind of a weenie when it comes to intense physical activity. I could have been a great basketball player except that I'm too short, too fat, totally uncoordinated, half blind, with the reflexes of the Titanic and don't give two shakes of a rat's ass about it. But other than that, I'd have been really good at it.

But in reading other people's experiences with working out, it seems not uncommon to reach what some call a plateau and others call a wall. They work hard and get steadily better until a certain place is achieved where no matter how much they work, how hard they try or what they do, they can't get up to the next level. Growth and improvement seem to stagnate, and forward motion seems to stop.

I think I found the wall in a few different areas of life.

So I need to learn from athletes (if that's possible) and apply some of their tactics. As I understand these tactics, they are themes and variations of the following:

Patience. Life is a process, not an event. The plateau is part of the process, not counterproductive to it. Ride it out knowing that the wall is temporary and will someday soon crumble to the ground.

Discipline. (God I hate that word.) You know what to do, do it on purpose. Results will follow, but whether they do or not, do what's right anyway.

Flexibility. Be willing to change, to try new things and to expand your horizons and thought process. Sometimes, the things that got you this far have done all they can. It's time for something new.

Attitude. Above all else, don't let frustration or doubt (or cynicism) rule the day. These things are self defeating and self destructive. A bad attitude serves no purpose at all except to steal precious energy. Judge it as a lie, and throw it out.

Reflection. Take some time to look at how far you've come and how many walls you've already broken through. This one seems bigger than any of the others, but the others seemed that way too before you broke through them.

Seek Wisdom from others who seem to have already broken through your wall. Through observation and imitation, learn from their experiences.

Encourage Someone whose wall you have already breached. Freely share with others that which has already been freely shared with you.

Have Faith. You're not alone, and life is not a series of random events. 

Momentum wanted me to hear all of that, and calls me onward. And I'm OK with putting anything I need to on the line to follow the momentum. Maybe I need a new job, a new city, a new goal. Maybe I need to take better care of the job and life I already have. Maybe I need to ...

Hopefully as August unfolds, I'll realize what it is that I need to do. I'm excited to figure it out.

Good-Bye July

"It is not our abilities that define us, it is our choices."

One of the good things about having a journal is being able to recognize trends. I have noticed that my posts in July have been more negative than in any other month so far, especially in the past ten days. I have decided to allow the end of July to be the end of that trend as well. I think there are some reasons for darker shade of July including:

Tragedies.

The drunk kid beating up his mom, the situation in Norway, the events surrounding My Happy's Halloween and the emphasis on the national debt problem (which is not only tragic, it is unsolvable) all worked together to get me down a little this month. I know better than to focus too much on such things. I know I'm prone to absorb the distaste of it all.

There have been other things to focus on, and I vow to do a better job next month of keeping my eyes on the good things life provides, and the Good God from whom every perfect gift comes.

My destiny is not dependent on how others respond to my performance or on the strength or weakness of the dollar or the political system that manipulates its value. Drunk people do stupid and hurtful things every day, and that's not my laundry. The senseless loss of life in Norway, eerily reminiscent of the senseless loss of life in Oklahoma City in April, 1995, speaks to the challenge of helping people think and come together. We don't have the time or luxury of being all depressed by it. We need to address people like this before they blow up buildings and shoot people. There's too much work to do to be bitter. 

Friday Night Fizzle.

What started out as Friday Night Focus, an effort to reach out and find some quality people to spend Friday evenings with has pretty much fizzled out. I have managed to meet one new really good friend so far.

They say a dog can live just fine on cat food, but a cat will starve to death if all it has to eat is dog food. There's not not enough protein in dog food to sustain a cat. I've thought several times over the years about just finding a good whore, and forgetting about the gay world apart from that guy. I had the opportunity to have just exactly that in July, and could have had an ongoing relationship in that context.

But, alas, it's not enough for me. I need to love someone, and need him to love me. Woe is me, because I still don't have the first clue where to find what I really need. On the 'expanding my social life' front, I would go back to the drawing board, but I can't even find one of those.

and it's just hot.

The heat here is getting to everybody. It's just too damn hot. It's hard to think or be motivated. Most all of my flowers are dead and everything is burned up. A few days of this are one thing - we have it every year. But today was our 38th day this summer with the high temperature at 100 degrees or hotter. and it's not even August yet. The forecast for next week is even worse with highs projected to be 106-108 for much of the week.

I heard that the devil called the governor and said he wants his weather back. I'd be OK with that.

In spite of my bitchiness in July, evidently more people read my blog than any other month so far by a long shot. Thanks. Leave more comments!

And, not for your sake but for mine, I promise to be more positive and enthusiastic in August.

Bookstore Blues

"If you are in a bookstore, and just can't find what you're looking for, you're obviously in the... "

(I identify with this in sooooo many ways. Thank God for my NOOK.)

By Executive Order, The Democracy Is Now A Dictatorship

"At least the President knows he can't do that."

The BS is Washington is flying fast and furious. Yesterday there was a group of congressmen saying that Obama should sign an executive order to increase the debt limit and do an end run around congress altogether.

May I please object? Government by executive order is called a dictatorship, and generally speaking in this country those are considered to be bad things. Are we really ready to give up on our Constitution and our way of life because a few boneheads (duly elected by the people, of course) can't come to consensus?

Besides, if we're going to use executive orders, why not do something really dramatic that actually solves the problem?

Why not nationalize the banking system by executive order? A whole bunch of debt that's pushing the discussions in Washington was used to bail them out a couple of years ago. God knows they're making money now.

How about the energy sector? Oil companies are bad guys anyway according to the Obama rhetoric. Let's seize their assets and apply all of the profit from the energy sector to the national debt.

What about the transportation system? We subsidize most of it anyway.

That's how they did it in China. A stroke of the pen and we could be just like them.

And, by executive order of course, we could ask the CIA to assassinate anyone who thinks these executive orders are bad ideas. We'll tell everyone else that it's in their best interests and for their own good.

A few well written executive orders and we could forget about the national debt, never again have to endure the mindless, senseless bickering among the various branches and institutions of government, and lose the expense, drama, wasted resources and hassle of all these damn elections once and for all.

Bill Clinton said he would do it without hesitation and "let the courts figure it out." Clearly Bill has some latent contempt for the US Constitution and our system of government.

I'm glad Obama has sense enough to know that he can't do things this way. It's unAmerican and unthinkable.

And The Consolation Prize Is: $28,551,320.00

"Maybe I can get that cute drummer from Michael Murphy's to give us a drum roll, please."

Well, yesterday was my day to be a sour puss. It was the seventh anniversary of my untimely and unceremonious departure from a company that I had invested 13 years of effort into. July 27, 2004 was also the end of a business relationship that had lasted 19 years. And I saw the other face of a guy that I considered a friend and a protege, and loved dearly.

It was the day that my faith failed completely as the substance of things hoped for turned to ashes and the evidence of things unseen turned to dust. To this very minute, I know that I ran that company with the wisdom, sincerity, godliness and passion of Christ, to the very best of my ability and understanding - which is neither trivial nor incompetent. If history must record my experience and investment as a failure, it was a genuine, pure hearted, legitimate one. My actions, motivated from and generated from my worldview utterly failed, and came to nothing.

Therefore, if I am ever allowed to feel sorry for myself, or be bitter at people and God, or hate the people involved in my sudden demise, yesterday was the day for it. On any other day when these emotions surface, I can bury them in anticipation of the next anniversary where such thinking is allowed for exactly one day.

Hence the nickname, "Mr Happy's  Halloween". This one day, the goblins can come out to play. This one day, I can be pissed off at the people I worked with, the God who led me into that event and life.

And I couldn't get there. I simply have no bitterness to flaunt, no hate to express, no regrets to feed self pity and no accusations to invoke justice. I had lunch with a friend of 25+ years, dinner with a new friend and great guy, we were busy at work and overall, I had a really good day. As time has unfolded, I now look at the events of 2004 differently. First, as God's providence in pulling me out of something I would never have forsaken voluntarily. Second, those who attacked me missed completely, and mortally wounded themselves.

Within the past year, I have had contact with each of the two main perpetrators of the scandal. One is hunkered down in his compound, afraid of the future, convinced that the world as we know it is about to collapse. The other is just a drunk, bitter, self centered prick, and (best I can tell) has no future - by his own admission and design. I wouldn't trade places with either of these people whom I once loved, and have nothing in common, no connection whatsoever, with either of them.

But I do have the consolation prize. During the seven year period starting 7/28/2004 and ending 7/27/2011, my new investment, on which I have had just as much impact as I had on my own company, total revenues are $28,551,320.00 - roughly ten times the revenue of the old company.

It's not my company, and it's not my money, and I don't care about money very much anyway. But it is a helluva consolation prize nonetheless. Overall, my life is better than it was seven years and a day ago. I'm making about twice as much money, and I am happier, and life is good.

This is not the outcome I worked so hard for so long to achieve, and does not meet the expectations I had for my own company back in the day. The events that destroyed that company are not OK, and the outcome is not what I wanted. But it is what it is, and albeit the consolation prize and not the grand prize, I am content.

(Please note the period at the end of the preceding sentence.)

That Luvin' Feelin' on Mr Happy's Halloween

"Rather than bore you with My own personal Halloween, I thought I'd instead let you enjoy a moment of the festivities at Michael Murphy's last Saturday as we celebrated our company's ten year anniversary."

I'm up there somewhere toward the left wearing a light colored cap, helping someone celebrate her anniversary or something. This was just one of the goofy stunts the performers pulled on people all night long.

If you get bored with the video, just stare at the drummer. That's what I did when things slowed down a bit. Gawd, he's cute! If anyone out there wants to get me something for Christmas, well...

I'll be back tomorrow with the revised number that I use to make Halloween all right.

The Dude In Norway and the Cute Guy Syndrome

"How can cute guys be so mad at the world?"

I know I'm supposed to be talking about money, and I'll get back to it. The subject isn't going away anytime soon. But my thoughts today, as I've been bombarded with the picture of the Dude from Norway online, are about how someone so cute could be so mad at the world.

I can see it a little in the Islamic terrorists. Hell, if I were as ugly as Osama Bin Sharkbait, I'd be mad at the world too. I'm almost as ugly as him, and I deal with it. But others aren't as well adjusted as I am and I can see how they might twist off and think that they should hate the rest of us.

But this guy is damn near beautiful. It's hard to imagine how someone that pretty could be such a slime. They say that the eyes are the window to the soul. His eyes are peaceful, passionate and happy. He looks like the kind of guy that should be at home with a couple of young daughters that he loves more than anything, and a wife who adores him, and a successful career and a good life. He says he's protecting the future of Europe, so he shoots dozens of kids that ARE the future of Europe at point blank range. This makes no sense at all.

Cute guys receive, and are entitled to, special, privileged treatment in this world - especially if they're just a little bit nice. The rest of us have to work to earn the acceptance and respect of others that pretty people enjoy automatically. It's their advantage, and life gave it to them. It's a gift that opens doors for them, and creates opportunities that the rest of us have to strive for.

One would think that, given these opportunities and assets, they'd be a step ahead of everyone else, leading the way to a better world and a more harmonious culture. I don't understand what happens to them to make them so bitter, full of hate and destructive.

Perhaps it is conceit. Maybe they actually believe deep down that they are better than anyone else. Like athletes in High School whose Division 2 scholarship doesn't exactly pave the way to the effortless, successful life they think they're entitled to, maybe these cute guys get burned when they find out that cute only opens doors and doesn't replace character. Perhaps they are blinded by their own light, and never really learn to respect anyone else, only to manipulate them and be a tease.

Whatever their issues are, I don't get it. I have a real weakness for intelligent, passionate, pretty guys. I've met quite a few of them in my life, and a couple of them are just wonderful people. But I've met the other kind too.

In fact, tomorrow, Mr Happy's Halloween, is my opportunity to lick my wounds and lament over my unfortunate and totally innocent association with just such a pretty guy - a guy whose brightness blinded me, who I thought was a friend and an asset and who turned out to be total skank.

I sort of wish I had been given the opportunity to talk to the Norway Dude for a couple of months. Maybe together we could have avoided his doom, saved the lives of a lot of people and prevented a real tragedy in an overall pretty nice part of the world.

Businesses Don't Pay Taxes! Customers Pay Taxes!

"Tax those big oil companies, they got all the money anyhow!"

First, I'm a cynic when it comes to politics, not a conservative or a liberal and I drink coffee. I don't think anyone in Washington DC has my best interests at heart and I don't think any of the people involved in the discussions about national debt have very much sense (if they do, they are not telling the truth about the economy, debt, taxes and the budget.)

But I'm tired of hearing people say that we should just tax big business because they can afford to pay the national debt. They're not paying their fair share, so sock it to them and make them pay.

Let's put this in the simplest terms. Let's suppose that the national debt could be paid in full by forcing Apple to pay a $50 tax on each IPod, IPad or IPhone they sell from now on. Let's make Apple pay. They've got lots of money. That's their fair share.

What happens next? Do you think it would take Steve Jobs more than 4 minutes to raise the price of the IPad, IPhone and IPod by $63? Who ends up paying the $50 tax? The consumer (that's you and me) who buys these products.

For those of us who work and get a paycheck, taxes are taken out before the check is written, and we settle up every April by paying a little more or getting a little back. This is not how it works with business. For a business, taxes are an expense that can be anticipated, calculated and added into the profit/loss equation just like utility bills, payroll expenses or insurance. The higher the taxes, the higher the prices.

The higher the taxes, the higher the prices.

We all pay income taxes. But we also pay businesses' taxes all the time. When you buy a gallon of milk, part of the price you pay for that milk is the taxes that will be owed by the dairy, the grocer, the truck driver that delivered it to the store, the company that manufactured the plastic bottle, the insurance company who insures the cows, and a hundred other businesses. Businesses don't pay taxes! Customers pay taxes!

Businesses don't pay taxes! Customers pay taxes!

All business taxes work this way. Fees too. And even fines imposed by the government for doing things wrong.

Congratulations! Not only are you paying a zillion businesses' income taxes, you're also paying their property taxes, workers comp insurance premiums, unemployment premiums and a shitload of other fees, fines, assessments, contributions and taxes. And you're paying it through higher prices - every single time you buy something.

So, how much should we tax those money grabbing oil companies?

It's an easy question. The answer is,

How much more do you want to pay for a gallon of gas?

2 Cents On The Dollar

"What makes a dollar worth more than two cents anyway?"

Well, Crap. There are a zillion and three things I want to blog about besides money, which I don't care too much about anyway. But it is important to our society, and to me personally whether I want to admit it or not. And there's so much bullshit going on as congress and President Obama try to come to grips with the debt issue. I feel like I need to add my 2 cents to the discussion even if nobody reads it. (At least I can say, "I told you so" later?)

The first problem is that nobody in Washington is really trying to fix anything. Everyone up there is just trying to position themselves for the 2012 Presidential and General elections. We have a potentially fatal problem with our government at present. The quality of government is unrelated to the process of government. Elections matter, not performance.

As a result, Truth has been replaced by Spin. Issues are secondary to sensationalism. Image over Substance is the nature of U.S. politics and government. For a while this was OK, even fun. But if we're not careful, the economy is going to prove to all of us that substance is more important than image, and truth overrides spin.

In addition, too many people believe too many fallacies about money. We need to think through these things better. And I can help, and intend to make some meager effort to do so over the next few days.

To set everyone at ease, I'm not doing the Chicken Little thing here. I don't think the sky is falling just yet. But I do think there are some fundamental things we need to understand better.

So here we go. The first one involves the intrinsic, actual value of a dollar.

We need to understand that our dollar based economy is totally based on faith. The dollar has no intrinsic value at all. The only value it carries is the credibility of the US Government. If we default on our loans, the credibility value of the dollar will be significantly eroded. I'm not using Obama's scare tactics. But I am saying that the US government and population cannot afford for our dollar to lose that global credibility. It's the only value the dollar has. Without it, dollars are worthless.

(I wonder if the faith-based nature of the dollar and consequently the entire US economy irritates atheists and other people who think living life by faith in something is ludicrous? Well, that's a different train.)

My point today is that all of the rhetoric about holding the debt ceiling in place and allowing the US to default on it's debt payments is bullshit. There is no way those guys can let that happen, and even if they don't know it, the real power people in Washington know it. There's nothing to worry about concerning the current talks going on. They'll raise the debt limit just in time to maintain the dollar's tenuous value.

But someday the issue really will be unavoidable. We have to balance the books either by spending less (like about half) or raise revenue (meaning taxes). We need to pay attention to how that is accomplished over the next few months and we need to correct some erroneous thinking about it.

I know it's not the most fun subject. But the economic climate is making it more important all the time. So, track with me and let's explore some of the fallacies and see if we can't separate the bull from the bullshit a little.

Ten Years And Counting

"Our plan is not to have a plan."

Our company is celebrating our tenth anniversary of being in business tonight. The actual anniversary was back in March, but this is the first chance we've had to get everyone together and recognize the 10 year milestone properly. I'm proud of our little company. We've accomplished in a few short years what I was never able to accomplish in the software business. And things look good for the future too.

I have long held the opinion that we spend far too much of our lives working to work at something we hate. Everyone in our company has a story to tell. I'm not comfortable enough with the whole blogging thing to be very specific about names and stories, but the outcome is that each of us has seen a major change for the better by working here.

So how can I characterize the impact of the Company? I can talk about a conversation that my brother and I had recently about money.

Back in the day, we could spend $20 without thinking much about it. We could spend $200, but that required justification and thought. $2,000 was doable, but with major effort. $20,000 was out of our reach.

Now, $2,000 doesn't make the radar, $20,000 happens a lot. $200,000 requires discussion and justification and a lot of thought (but we just bought another airplane for $220,000). $2 Million is out of our reach, and I'm good with that.

That characterization says something of the scope, but not the depth.

The banana farm in Zambia, Africa that I have discussed before, the orphanage in Mexico that we support, the college ministries we're involved in, the families each year that we adopt at Christmas who wouldn't otherwise have one, the instant 'yes' we have been blessed to be able to say when people need us or some of the resources we have developed over the past ten years...these things reflect the depth of the company and the people who are involved in it.

Our yearly contributions to people and organizations helping others each year and doing good in the world adds up to more than my and my business partner's combined annual salaries at my old business.

It's one thing to have a job I like, that meets my needs and gives me an outlet to be of some value. But to be connected with an organization that stands for what our company stands for, and backs it up with the checkbook is a genuine honor and privilege.

So, if you happen to think of it, please join us around 7 or 8 o'clock tonight, and raise a glass and give a "Cheers" to the Company for ten wonderful years. And here's to ten more.

Fare Thee Well, Old Friend

"The Boldest Flight In History."

On April 12, 1981, I was looking forward to my eighteenth birthday, working on getting my drivers' license, about to graduate from high school and enjoying my last few weeks as a Sr. And I was absolutely fascinated with the Space Shuttle.

STS-1 Launch, April 12, 1981

Nobody at that time really grasped the importance, longevity or impact that the shuttle program would have. Some may have imagined it, but I don't think anyone really appreciated how fantastic or how productive the program would be. I remember thinking that the space shuttle was about to take off and start something new and exciting - a reusable spacecraft that could be launched and land over and over again. At that time, I was starting a whole bunch of new things. After the initial mission, I remember hoping that all of the stuff I was involved in would be as successful.

I was one of many who was mad at NASA for not naming the first space shuttle Enterprise after Capt. Kirk's magnificent starship. I had been a Star Trek fan for as long as I could remember. (There was an Enterprise space shuttle, but it never saw space flight or had engines attached. I wanted he first real space shuttle to be known as the Enterprise.)

As the program matured, I followed it every chance I got. I was watching live TV when Challenger exploded, and I will remember that tragic incident just like I will forever remember 9/11 or the 1995 Oklahoma City Bombing. Same for the breakup of Columbia a few years later.

So, as the program draws to an extremely successful close, and all of us who long to know more about that which is currently out of reach wait patiently for the next step, I want to express how much the space shuttle program has meant to me, how much I have enjoyed following it over the years and how much respect I have for NASA, congress, the scientific community and the American people for keeping the program going as long as it did.

It's really been a cool ride, and I am very glad to have witnessed some of it.

Coming Up For Air

"...and a healthy dose of 'Mind My Own Business'."

Well, the irony of the past few days, my thoughts and corresponding posts about mercy, the incident with the drunk kid beating up his mother and my reaction to it, all taken together makes me want to throw up my hands and cover up my head.

The deal is that I do believe in mercy, not just as a philosophical, 'feel good', hope for the world way, but very literally. I believe that changed lives and hearts, instigated by compassion, motivated by mercy is a very real and tangible thing.

And my disdain for the drunks of the world isn't so much represented by anger as by the sick feeling I get down inside when I think of the needless harm and damage they inflict on those who care about them the most. More specifically, the sick feeling I get when I think of my best friend in high school who spent one semester at college and hasn't been sober since. Other stories, some too close to home and some that unfold every single night in almost every city in America.

If I let my mind dwell on these things and wander into them too far, my sick feeling turns to depression and hopelessness. Without the mercy I've been talking about and the hope for a better world that it singularly represents, the world is an incredibly dark and depressing place. Sometimes I think it's a place I'd just as soon not live in.

So, obviously, the answer for me is not to dwell or think too much about such things. Other people think what they think, and do what they do. But my mission is to think of things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable and worthy of praise. The rest is nothing more than distracting noise in a world filled with music.

Mercy, compassion, forgiveness and transformation are available to any human being that will embrace them and walk in them. Without exception, without qualification and without prejudice. Period.

As to the kid who beat up his mother, or the mom who facilitates such events, these things are really none of my business. This is not my laundry, and this dirt is not my dirt. I see no reason at all to allow it to ruin my day. I have no interest in judging either of them, or anybody else for their decisions, actions or lifestyles. I'm not going to live inside of that paradigm, or permit it within my arm's length. And there's a period at the end of that sentence too.

So I'm ready to come up from the deep water for a bit, grab some fresh air and think about something fun and happy. There's a lot going on toward the end of this month, and it's all good, positive stuff. I'm ready to turn my attention in that direction.

How Hot Is Oklahoma?






The Other Side Of The Coin - What Mercy Is Not

"Now To Refute Everything I've Said For A Week "

OK, so for a week now, I've been talking about the importance and benefits of mercy over justice, and how mercy drives compassion through forgiveness to create peace. And just in time to make a total fool out of me, the following situation came along yesterday. Here's the deal:

A friend of a coworker called, who happens to be a single, disabled mom. Her 22 year old son came home, drunk, and just beat the shit out of her.

I volunteered to join the posse and participate in the lynching.

I have a real problem with drunks anyway. I've been too close to more than my fair share of them in my life. I've seen their lives ruined, their families hurt, their potential dilluted to nothing, their personalities change, their value to this world totally evaporate. I know one that blew his own head off - just because he was drunk and not thinking straight - and left a hell of a mess in the middle of his living room floor for his family to clean up.

A drink or two is fine, even good. I'm not being a religious do-gooder here. But a drunk is less than a dog in my world, and I have no respect for any of them.

I fully support the most aggressive treatment of drunk drivers. They recklessly and unnecessarily endanger themselves (which is their prerogative), and they endanger and indeed kill many other innocent people every year.

And I firmly believe that violent drunks should be institutionalized indefinitely, unless and until there is a way to guarantee that they can rejoin society and never drink alcohol again. For these people, alcohol is poison - not to them, but to all of the people who love them.

Sure enough, this kid that beat up his own mom is really sorry now, and feels terrible about what he did. Of course he does, the fucker is sober now. I have no mercy for him. I think that somehow I'm probably supposed to, but I have absolutely none - unless a fast, painless death vs. the one he deserves would be considered merciful.

And what tops this? The situation was so bad that the neighbors got involved and called the police. When they got there and saw how badly mom had been beaten, they were ready to take the kid to jail, and mom wouldn't tell them where he was! Mom, after getting the shit beat out of her by her own worthless piece of shit son, defended him and hid him from the police who quite possibly saved her life.

That's not mercy. That's stupidity. That's the kind of stupid that actually mocks mercy.

There are a lot of moms out there that enable, and even pay for, their children to be total fuck ups. And they say that they love their kid and that's why they do it. They don't love their kids. If they did, they'd get the kid some help, not help the worthless creature continue to destroy himself and everything around him.

OK. Before you call me a hypocrite for writing this post on the heels of the past few posts about mercy, I admit the conundrum. And I admit that I don't understand it. And I commit myself to thinking more about it and trying to figure it out.

But in the mean time, if I come into contact with this particular kid while in arm's reach of anything that resembles a two by four, the police will be taking me to the nearest jail, and this no good kid who beat up his mother to the nearest hospital.

...And Be Thankful

"What's that got to do with the price of tea in China?"

What a week, huh? We started by bitching about the justice system that handed down two high profile decisions lately which taken together make no sense at all. We covered a lot of ground, asserting that justice isn't really the issue anyway.

Mercy is the catalyst for good in the world. Mercy presumes forgiveness, a deferment of justice that is justified by the impact of compassion which mercy manifests in us to a world that deserves justice.

And the intended impact of this mercy driven compassion is transformed thinking, belief systems, and lives. Transformed into the image of perfection, into people capable and competent to love.

And the result of this love is Shalom, or Perfect Peace, which is a state of being in which a person, an organization, an entire community, a nation and the whole human race carries on the activities of life in complete harmony with themselves, each other and God who instigated mercy in the first place.

Living in this state is as simple as Col 3:12-14, and is so difficult that the vast majority of humans will never touch it or know that it is possible. Those who are able to embrace it are called 'God's Elect'.

And now we have just one thing to add, which at first glance seems to be unrelated to anything else in the discussion so far. It is the last three words of Col 3:14. "...and be thankful."

In fact, this happens many times in the bible. Paul or someone else is discussing some concept, be it mercy, prayer, overcoming persecution, dealing with tragedy or loss, or some other concept, and out of the blue there's a tag in the discussion about thankfulness. "...and be thankful", "...with thanksgiving", etc.

Thankfulness is good medicine. Our minds tend to dwell on the ugly things of life, our own shortcomings, what we lack, the bad things we have to endure, the state of society, political scandal, monetary and economic crisis, etc. These things are important, and shouldn't be easily dismissed.

But all of the negative things in life happen in the context of good things. We just don't notice or respect the good things. A bias toward thankfulness helps counteract that in powerful ways.

In the short time I've been writing my journal online, I have noticed a bias toward looking for good things to write about. I don't want my blog to be just another whine and cheese party. I want to talk about good things, encouraging things, things that make life better, and build people up.

If we approach life looking for things to be thankful for, our days are better. It's just a fact. This mindset makes every complicated, deep subject easier to internalize and apply. It's good food for the soul, and good advice in Col 3:14, Phil 4:4-8 and a hundred other places.

So,

In that context, Thank You for reading my blog. It keeps me engaged and motivated to know that someone else in the world is taking time to at least entertain my point of view, even if you laugh at me later.

Today is only the 18th of the month, and for some reason the number of page hits on my blog has already exceeded the previous high for any other month. Honestly, it's still not very many. And I don't need very many. I just need you, and appreciate your taking the time to digest my musings. Again, Thank You.

Seeking Shalom

"A strong justice system can create an absence of war, but only mercy can create peace."

In good ol' American English, we use the word 'peace' to mean the absence of war or conflict. But if we think about peace a little, we have the opportunity to do better than that. There is another peace that Christ talked about when he said, "Peace I give you. My Peace I leave with you. Not as the world gives..."

The peace of Christ, the higher peace that we can reach for is often called Shalom. It is the active, living presence of everything that God calls good, not just the absence of conflict. It's true enough that conflict and war cannot exist in the presence of Shalom, but Shalom is much more. Shalom is an atmosphere or context of well being, blessing, cooperation, unity and mutual (even universal) benefit, respect and prosperity. Perhaps the best single word in English to describe Shalom is 'Teamwork'.

Culturally and socially, we need a justice system to decide guilt and innocence, set and enforce punishment, and through the very real threat of punishment 'keep the peace'. But this is not the concept of Shalom.

Shalom can only be realized through mercy, forgiveness and compassion. Only by viewing the world from each others' eyes with a bias to help, encourage and build up each other can Shalom take root and grow in our culture and day to day activities of society. Only mercy can create Shalom. And only in the context of Shalom can society, culture and each of us individually be all that God created and called us to be.

This, BTW, is Church's single biggest failure. In its passion to stand for some great good or stand against some terrible evil, the church has totally abandoned Shalom. The average Christian thinks Shalom is a Jewish greeting, or Muslim terrorist word. We haven't just forgotten the word, we've abandoned the concept. And in so doing, we cause the rest of the world to think we have nothing to offer except hate. But I digress.

The rest of Jesus' quote from the first paragraph is, "...in the world you will have tribulation (constant, turbulent conflict). But fear not, for I have overcome the world."

Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering, bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. (Col 3:12-14)

"Lord, teach your people once again what Shalom is, how to walk in it and how to infect those around us with it. "

Merciful Forgiveness

"Sometimes justice deferred is absolutely justified."

Again, the heart of mercy sees through the actions and circumstances that surround a person and sees the person as a being created by a loving God in a spirit of joyful anticipation of a magnificent, eternal, meaningful destiny.

In this context, what do we do with the offenses a person commits in our lives or within our field of vision? Mercy understands that 'hurt people hurt people'. In other words, the injury and damage caused by someone is nothing more than an indication of how they have been hurt by someone else. Mercy drives compassion to reach through those things and help to heal the subject's wounds, knowing that a whole, healed person does not injure or damage others.

But what if the offense is really bad, the injury is great and the damage is extensive and quantifiable? Shouldn't the offender be punished or make restitution? Is there no justice? Am I not entitled to receive compensation and recovery for the injuries I sustained by another? Am I not entitled to hate people for what they've done to me?

These questions are out of bounds for a merciful heart. The questions make no sense whatsoever.

When we can learn to see situations the way Mercy sees them, we will begin to understand what forgiveness is. Forgiveness is a deference of what I am entitled to, or what justice demands, for the sake of something greater, something more meaningful and more important than my compensation. Forgiveness is a setting aside of clearly wrong things in order to attain or create really right, pure, redeemed, perfect things.

So what is the the greater, more meaningful, more important, really right, pure and perfect thing that forgiveness defers to?

A transformed person. Someone who is transformed by compassion, whose wounds are healed, whose mind is renewed, whose conscience is cleansed, who has been born again and is now a new creature. Someone in whom old things are dead and all things have become new. This is the outcome that Christ made possible when he shed his blood. And this is the outcome that mercy sees from the beginning, even before the offenses and injuries take place.

And there is no down side to mercy. If someone rejects mercy and the compassion it delivers to them, their judgement is already clear. God is not mocked, and justice is not lost. If justice deferred creates something good, the deferment that mercy instigates is justified. If the good thing will not be created or redeemed, justice is still justice.

Thus unforgiveness is an issue that makes no sense in the context of mercy. This has nothing to do with the reason we should forgive. Forgiveness is in our best interest. Unforgiveness is harmful to us, and causes damage of its own, separate and apart from whatever offence was committed against us.

Nonetheless, it is good to understand how forgiveness (the deference of justice) fits into the mechanics of mercy and compassion and the transformation of people into all that they were created to be from the beginning. And it is good to be able to participate in that process intentionally by choosing mercy over justice, and forgiveness over bitterness.

Mercy, Compassion and Peace

"Don't you know it's a slippery slope."

Thinking in terms of the Mercy we all want from God and each other, as opposed to the Justice we expect for everyone else can be a little dangerous. Before we know it, we're also talking about compassion, forgiveness and peace. Mercy breeds and attracts these things like watermelon attracts flies.

From Mercy's point of view, life is about three things: People, People and People. Life is specifically not about conquest, accumulation of stuff, pleasure (or pain), winning, building empires, being important or any other thing. It's about people.

The heart of mercy sees through the actions and circumstances that surround a person and sees the person as a being created by a loving God in a spirit of joyful anticipation of a magnificent, eternal, meaningful destiny. When the outcome in someone's life is inconsistent with that vision, mercy always believes that the disparity between someone's actions or circumstances and the actual person is caused and propagated by some fundamental error or tragedy.

But oddly, mercy has no effect at all on the people it longs to reach. Mercy works its magic only on those who are sensitive to its call. Mercy drives us to reach through the disparity, into the darkness and fire, and address the people impacted by such negative outcomes and do something. even something miraculous, to make people's lives better in some meaningful way. Mercy motivates us to acts of compassion. Mercy breaks our hearts and pushes us to find a way to make a positive difference in our world.

So mercy takes root inside of us, and before you know it we're busy carrying out acts of compassion toward people in need or who are hurting. We're giving to orphanages in Africa, food banks in Oklahoma, donating time, clothing, money or something anyplace we can think of that is actively trying to help others.

And then someone comes across my path that really needs me - my time, energy, perspective, wisdom or just my presence to get through an event or season in their life. Now this mercy driven compassion becomes personal and invasive, and in my experience, even life changing.

On second thought, maybe it's not that dangerous after all. It's a slippery slope I think I'm ready to slide down again. It sure beats thinking about the injustice of our justice system.

Everybody Wants Mercy, Not Justice

"Let him who is without sin cast the first stone."

In rereading my last couple of posts, it seems obvious that I need to think about something else. Justice is an ideal that everybody wants for the other guy, but for ourselves, well, we really don't want it anyway.

I'm no different. I don't want to face the ideal of Justice head on. Especially if Truth is anywhere close by. It is strange how our minds work.

If I'm talking about me, I would encourage everyone to take the bad with the good; to remember my assets as well as my shortcomings. After all, I'm not perfect (and never said I was). I'm a work in progress, and I'm not finished yet. I'm doing the best I know how, and would do better if I knew what better is. I'm entitled to my idiosyncrasies, my likes and dislikes, my weirdness and my quirks. These things makes me unique, special, individual and distinguishable.

But 'that guy' needs to conform to my (read: society's, culture's) image of what he should be. Of course I'm allowed to stereotype that guy, and criticize everything from his clothes to his character that doesn't meet my expectations. Lifestyle is always a choice, and he should choose one I agree with or face the consequences.

I know I'm not perfect. I'm allowed to make mistakes as I grow and learn. Sometimes my mistakes hurt someone else, and I'm sorry about that. But I don't screw up on purpose, and holding me accountable for every error or misjudgement doesn't serve any purpose. Thank God, I live life in a context where mistakes can be made now and then, and mercy covers them and I learn from the experience.

But 'that guy' should be held accountable for his actions, especially if those actions hurt me or someone else. Justice must be served. "An eye for an eye." If that guy does things that cause damage, pain or loss to others, he should pay. Debt is not just a financial term. That guy needs to pay his bills, and redeem his negative and hurtful actions with suffering, compensation or his own blood. This is the way of things.

In short, "God have mercy on me and let your justice take care of everyone else."

Can't we give 'that guy' the same benefit of the doubt we want for ourselves, and extend to him the mercy and grace we want to be extended to us?