"Maybe I can get that cute drummer from Michael Murphy's to give us a drum roll, please."
Well, yesterday was my day to be a sour puss. It was the seventh anniversary of my untimely and unceremonious departure from a company that I had invested 13 years of effort into. July 27, 2004 was also the end of a business relationship that had lasted 19 years. And I saw the other face of a guy that I considered a friend and a protege, and loved dearly.
It was the day that my faith failed completely as the substance of things hoped for turned to ashes and the evidence of things unseen turned to dust. To this very minute, I know that I ran that company with the wisdom, sincerity, godliness and passion of Christ, to the very best of my ability and understanding - which is neither trivial nor incompetent. If history must record my experience and investment as a failure, it was a genuine, pure hearted, legitimate one. My actions, motivated from and generated from my worldview utterly failed, and came to nothing.
Therefore, if I am ever allowed to feel sorry for myself, or be bitter at people and God, or hate the people involved in my sudden demise, yesterday was the day for it. On any other day when these emotions surface, I can bury them in anticipation of the next anniversary where such thinking is allowed for exactly one day.
Hence the nickname, "Mr Happy's Halloween". This one day, the goblins can come out to play. This one day, I can be pissed off at the people I worked with, the God who led me into that event and life.
And I couldn't get there. I simply have no bitterness to flaunt, no hate to express, no regrets to feed self pity and no accusations to invoke justice. I had lunch with a friend of 25+ years, dinner with a new friend and great guy, we were busy at work and overall, I had a really good day. As time has unfolded, I now look at the events of 2004 differently. First, as God's providence in pulling me out of something I would never have forsaken voluntarily. Second, those who attacked me missed completely, and mortally wounded themselves.
Within the past year, I have had contact with each of the two main perpetrators of the scandal. One is hunkered down in his compound, afraid of the future, convinced that the world as we know it is about to collapse. The other is just a drunk, bitter, self centered prick, and (best I can tell) has no future - by his own admission and design. I wouldn't trade places with either of these people whom I once loved, and have nothing in common, no connection whatsoever, with either of them.
But I do have the consolation prize. During the seven year period starting 7/28/2004 and ending 7/27/2011, my new investment, on which I have had just as much impact as I had on my own company, total revenues are $28,551,320.00 - roughly ten times the revenue of the old company.
It's not my company, and it's not my money, and I don't care about money very much anyway. But it is a helluva consolation prize nonetheless. Overall, my life is better than it was seven years and a day ago. I'm making about twice as much money, and I am happier, and life is good.
This is not the outcome I worked so hard for so long to achieve, and does not meet the expectations I had for my own company back in the day. The events that destroyed that company are not OK, and the outcome is not what I wanted. But it is what it is, and albeit the consolation prize and not the grand prize, I am content.
(Please note the period at the end of the preceding sentence.)