Well, what belongs in my journal today is the ongoing tension between Nephew One of Six and his dad. Nephew One works for the company business, but doesn't want to. He just wants money. The equation above is his logic, a logic that is shared by many in his generation and especially by a couple of his siblings, Number Two and Number Three of Six.
The logic is flawed. But he can't see that. The math doesn't work, but he's belligerently trying to make it happen. And everything he does to emphatically teach his math to his dad backfires (of course), and the tension increases. Yesterday it boiled over.
Missing entirely in Number One's math is any respect for his dad, the business, the path to creating the business or making it successful, the life lived up to this point or the value of what dad is doing. Such lack of respect (read contempt) for dad is typical of 23 year olds throughout history. As a matter of fact, back in the day when dad was son, he ran his dad through about the same paces where respect/contempt is concerned. But my bro never thought our dad owed him anything.
So here's my Number One Nephew's basic position:
"Dad, I don't want to live in your house any more, or follow your rules, or do chores, or keep my mouth shut when I think you're an asshole.
"I want to move out on my own and make my own decisions, do my own thing and live my own life without your advice, criticism, wisdom or oversight.
"But I don't want, nor will I tolerate, a lower standard of living than I had at home. In fact I want more. And you have lots of money, so you need to give me whatever I need. Obviously I can't get a job that pays well enough to live the life I want on my own. Duh.
"Dad, it's your turn to keep your mouth shut, to provide for my standard of living and the things I want, and let me live my life my way.
"Dad, why can't you see that? Anyone can see that. Are you that stupid? Are you that blind? How am I ever going to have any respect for you if you are this big of an idiot."Of course, Uncle Me says, "Good Luck With That Crap. Call me someday when your head pops out of your ass. We'll get some coffee and talk."
But dad, and all dads the world over, has to actually engage the situation and try to get Nephew One of Six to see how wrong he is, how counter productive his attitude is, what a fantasy world he lives in, what the inevitable consequences of his mindset will be, and that One of Six is the only person in the world who will suffer from this bad math.
I don't have a dog in this fight, but my general advice to my bro in this situation is:
"Never try to teach a pig to swim. Not only does it waste your time, it annoys the pig."and secondly,
"When conflict is unavoidable, escalate it."This is what belongs in my journal today, but I'm really not into it.