Tuesday, November 23, 2010

A Gay Christian's Math Part 4

"The most abominably abominable abomination if ever there were one."

OK, here's some math for you concerning Leviticus 18:22. Yep, you got it! The one verse of scripture that seems to be the perfect tool for beating up the gay world. How much more clearly could the bible say it? "You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination." (Or 'abomination-NA' if you're a really on fire baptist or PH preacher.)

Introducing - drum roll please - a method of biblical interpretation called - wait for it - "The Turning of the Page". I know that sounds complicated but it's really a simple concept. Find Lev. 18:22, grasp the page where those words are printed between the thumb and index finger, and move whichever way seems natural and convenient.

It doesn't even matter which direction you turn the page, forward or backward. You can even turn the page two, three or even four times -- or more.

Just turn the page and start reading whatever you find there with the same venomous, raspy, indignant fervor with which Lev. 18:22 is generally quoted. If you can do this with a straight (no pun intended) face, you're a lunatic!

Nobody believes this stuff. Not even the most devout, God fearing, holy rollers believe that a person with a skin condition, blood disease, open wound or sore, etc. is unacceptable in God's sight. Nobody really believes that eating shellfish is abominable. Nobody believes anything else in Leviticus except Chapter 18, Verse 22.

In math, 8+5=13 always - Regardless of context. Either Leviticus is written for us now, and we should take it seriously and abide by it, or there is some other explanation for its condemnation of about everybody on the planet.

If it is for us to know and live by, some of these conservative Christian groups need to spend some portion of their budget to battle the 'homosexual agenda' on organized protests at dialysis centers across the country.

If there is some other explanation (and there are many) for the ordinances and decrees of Leviticus, those explanations need to apply to 18:22 as well.

But the practice of beating an entire ethos of people about the head and shoulders with one verse buried inside of a book of the bible that nobody believes should stop.

It is disingenuous. (But it is fun to say 'abomination-NA' from time to time.)