Very Judgmental - But Nobody's Judge

"Can't even run his own life. I'll be damned if he'll run mine"

For the record, I am very judgmental. Perhaps it's the Taurus in me. Perhaps it's because I can't see very well so I'm careful where I step. Perhaps I have a strong personality and a good image of who I think I am or how I think life should be. But regardless of the cause, I tend to come across as judgmental. I try hard not to give off that impression, and fight hard to avoid being that way towards others.

But this is a problem with image, not with substance.

I don't consider myself as judging others for their decisions, lifestyles or worldviews. I carefully and deliberately judge myself. I think this is the right thing to do. If I see two people in a relationship, and there are components of that relationship that I admire, I want to absorb and imitate those qualities in my own relationships. If I observe qualities in others' relationships that I do not like or agree with, I want to avoid those issues in my own relationships.

From before we each learned to speak, we began practicing the art of 'Observation and Imitation'. Part of raising children is to be careful what they observe in their parents (or on TV), because they imitate everything. They can't tell which characteristics should be imitated and which should be shunned.

If my dog bites me, I will hit it. I figure the dog just hit me the only way it knew how, and I have to hit it back. Is this a judgment of the dog? (The dog sure as hell thinks so.) But it's not. It is a judgment about whether I will allow myself to be bitten by my dog. It's not really about judging the dog or revenge or retaliation or anything else. It is about how I should be treated by my dog in my house.

I disagree with conservative christian condemnation of the gay world. I also disagree with the 'no boundaries' lifestyle of some in the gay world. I do so without judging either of them. Each of us must be our own judge.

I'm pointing this out in case my blog sounds as judgmental and closed minded as the people I complain about. I'm not that way. I am nobody's judge except my own. If anything in my blog connotes otherwise, please disregard it.

Black Friday Math

"It's not how much you spend, it's how much you $AVE!"

This is about the stupidest math ever perpetrated on the free world.

And I'm guilty of buying into it. Early this morning, before I would normally have finished my first pot of coffee, I was out and among 'em at the mall saving money like nobody's business. I saved:

• 1st Stop: $600-$129=$471.00 twice. (I bought the same thing for 2 people) for a total of $942.00!
• 2nd Stop: $165-$82.50=$82.50, plus $235-$35=$200 by buying the make up kit at the same time I bought my mom's favorite Este Lauder fragrance. Total Saved=$282.50. (Plus a free purple bag.)
• 3rd Stop: $649-$324.50=$324.50 on a new coat I just had to have for myself. After all, Charity starts at home, right?
• 4th Stop: Three each of $130-$29=$101 for a total of $303.00
• 5th Stop: $49 because I bought one and got one free!!

There were more stops and more savings, but just in my first five stops I saved over $1900.00.

Are you impressed?

I wonder how long it will take to pay for all of my savings today!

Thankfulness: A State Of Being

"Human Being: A Creature That Walks Upright and is Ungrateful"

A few years back, I bought a new house. I set up a tree on Halloween but didn't decorate it for Christmas. Instead I called it my Thanksgiving Tree. I decorated the tree with notes or representations of all of the things in life I am thankful for, It's amazing how full the tree was. I understand the concept of being thankful for a laundry list of things.

But to me, Thanksgiving is more of a state of being than an action or list. Thankfulness (as a state of being) destroys depression, anxiety and bitterness. The concept of the state of being Thankful is to redirect our attention away from the things in life that are not good and bring to focus that which us genuinely, completely and absolutely good.

This is so hard for humans. Even when it's time to make a list of things to be thankful for, we have a hard time coming up with one. Sure, there are friends, family, relationships. There are always events and possessions to appreciate. Now and then, we even allow ourselves to be proud of our own accomplishments or conquests. But, even in the midst of making the list, our minds tend to gravitate towards the things that are still wrong with life and the world around us. We're just better at criticizing than we are at complimenting. We recognize what's wrong much more quickly than we acknowledge what's right.

The mindset of Thankfulness teaches the opposite. It teaches us to notice and call out the good things in life. It teaches us to downplay and reduce the importance of things that are not good enough. From that perspective, we are better able to bring that which is not good into harmony and alignment with that which is truly good. 

It's not what is wrong with the world that matters, it is what is right. Now, how to we influence or change that which is wrong to make it right? Rather than being offended at the bad stuff, indignant about injustice, upset at others' behavior or actions, or depressed at our own bad luck and bad decisions, we learn to be attracted to and seek out the good things in life and to perceive, appreciate and anticipate them more passionately.

I used to think our condition was a result of us being a society of spoiled brats. We assume that life is supposed to be fun and happy and satisfying, and get upset when it fails to meet our expectations. Our assumption that life owes us something mitigates the enjoyment of real pleasure, just like a spoiled kid doesn't appreciate any good thing; she just assumes it's supposed to be that way, and throws a wild-eyed fit if something doesn't go her way.

But it seems to be deeper than that. It seems like we are educated from birth to find flaws, complain and be depressed. We need a renewed mind, and a different worldview to enjoy all of the good things life offers. Before we can enjoy them, we have to perceive them. Before we perceive them we have to look for them.

So let's be Thankful today and every day from now on.

A Gay Christian's Math Part 4

"The most abominably abominable abomination if ever there were one."

OK, here's some math for you concerning Leviticus 18:22. Yep, you got it! The one verse of scripture that seems to be the perfect tool for beating up the gay world. How much more clearly could the bible say it? "You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination." (Or 'abomination-NA' if you're a really on fire baptist or PH preacher.)

Introducing - drum roll please - a method of biblical interpretation called - wait for it - "The Turning of the Page". I know that sounds complicated but it's really a simple concept. Find Lev. 18:22, grasp the page where those words are printed between the thumb and index finger, and move whichever way seems natural and convenient.

It doesn't even matter which direction you turn the page, forward or backward. You can even turn the page two, three or even four times -- or more.

Just turn the page and start reading whatever you find there with the same venomous, raspy, indignant fervor with which Lev. 18:22 is generally quoted. If you can do this with a straight (no pun intended) face, you're a lunatic!

Nobody believes this stuff. Not even the most devout, God fearing, holy rollers believe that a person with a skin condition, blood disease, open wound or sore, etc. is unacceptable in God's sight. Nobody really believes that eating shellfish is abominable. Nobody believes anything else in Leviticus except Chapter 18, Verse 22.

In math, 8+5=13 always - Regardless of context. Either Leviticus is written for us now, and we should take it seriously and abide by it, or there is some other explanation for its condemnation of about everybody on the planet.

If it is for us to know and live by, some of these conservative Christian groups need to spend some portion of their budget to battle the 'homosexual agenda' on organized protests at dialysis centers across the country.

If there is some other explanation (and there are many) for the ordinances and decrees of Leviticus, those explanations need to apply to 18:22 as well.

But the practice of beating an entire ethos of people about the head and shoulders with one verse buried inside of a book of the bible that nobody believes should stop.

It is disingenuous. (But it is fun to say 'abomination-NA' from time to time.)

WOW! This is Fun!

"My How Time Flies When You're Having Fun"

I started my Blog in June because someone "I know nothing about" has been blogging for a long time, and I found it interesting. I lost interest in him pretty quickly, and lost interest in the blog as a natural result. But just for the heck of it, I reread the six (yep, 6) posts that I got around to back then, and really enjoyed reading it. Come to think of it, I enjoyed writing it too. So I think I'll pick this blog thing up again and see if I can maintain any momentum on my own.

I still want to document my gay, christian math. I want to vent, and rant and rave, and express myself and bitch occasionally. Isn't that what blogs are for? I went to Boston on vacation, and I want to remember that trip. Maybe blogging about it (even late) will make that memory last longer. 

Who knows? Someday I may even decide to make it a shared blog so someone else really can read it. (Should someone else in the world be so bored)..